Update on the Date...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Update on the Date...
Well they guy did come on to me....I tried to think it was me but he did...freaked me out...then I thought well I might be thinking overboard....he thought we should go cuddle
Then he sends me an e-mail says "sorry he was not a very good gentleman"
Then he sends me another e-mail and say's he is looking for an aggresive lover and thinks that I am to shy! Someone who is all over him....well it is not me Rose...
I would sure like to have someone who gives me love and effection and I would sure love to give someone love and effection........but for the first time out!!!
I was mad and I am mad with god...enough is enough...
Just what am I to do....what are you trying to tell me to do...
Had Enough!
Rose
Then he sends me an e-mail says "sorry he was not a very good gentleman"
Then he sends me another e-mail and say's he is looking for an aggresive lover and thinks that I am to shy! Someone who is all over him....well it is not me Rose...
I would sure like to have someone who gives me love and effection and I would sure love to give someone love and effection........but for the first time out!!!
I was mad and I am mad with god...enough is enough...
Just what am I to do....what are you trying to tell me to do...
Had Enough!
Rose
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 333
Take your time Rose it seems maybe he was a jerk. I would say on both sides of the sexes there many jerks and ******* that we have to weed through. Whether people are sober or not does not change whether or not they are @$$holes as a character flaw. I heard that 18 million (i think it was) US citizens have substance abuse issues. In my calculations that leaves about 282 million + people who should not be a-holes do to drugs but they still have the potential to be just that, @holes. Hang in there honey...he is out there...take your time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Thanks Noah...
I am so out of sorts tonight...
I have a husband that takes off with on crack
The Kids seem to hate me
Go on a date and again I have flaws...
I just dont't read the message here of what I am doing wrong!!!!
Rose
I am so out of sorts tonight...
I have a husband that takes off with on crack
The Kids seem to hate me
Go on a date and again I have flaws...
I just dont't read the message here of what I am doing wrong!!!!
Rose
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
Originally Posted by rose 
Thanks Noah...
I am so out of sorts tonight...
I have a husband that takes off with on crack
The Kids seem to hate me
Go on a date and again I have flaws...
I just dont't read the message here of what I am doing wrong!!!!
Rose
I am so out of sorts tonight...
I have a husband that takes off with on crack
The Kids seem to hate me
Go on a date and again I have flaws...
I just dont't read the message here of what I am doing wrong!!!!
Rose
Sorry you feel so down... What do you mean you have flaws? Just because thius guy was adissappointment does not mean you have flaws.
Maybe you are not doing anything wrong...maybe the kids are in a bad mood and the guy was looking for "an aggressive lover"...and the husband's problem...none of this is your fault!
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend that had a bad day....go a little easy on yourself please!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
It just seems like I should turn around and take a good look at myself....
Maybe a maker of my own problems and I want to take a look at what I am protraying and causing.....
I want to face it....
Rose
Maybe a maker of my own problems and I want to take a look at what I am protraying and causing.....
I want to face it....
Rose
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Rose, don't make me get out the steel toed bunny slippers 
YOU are a wonderful person, a person with values and integrity and wisdom beyond most. You met this man because he seemed like a person who would respect you and share friendship and then just see where that led. You were true to yourself and all you believe and the goodness in your heart got a little stomped on....shame on him.
All is not lost, you learned from this, and when the hurt stops you will see that you did nothing wrong and just being yourself is more than enough for any man wise enough to see past his "needs" and instead look at yours.
The gift in all this is that he showed his true colours so early in the relationship...remember what I told you MG said? Men tell all about themselves right off the hop and if we pay attention and believe what they say, we can decide if this is healthy or not.
Your recovery allowed you to see him for what he is...a cad and a selfish boor who is "all about HIM".
Egads, Rose, you are worth so much better than this and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will find someone worthy of all the beautiful things you have to give.
You are a beautiful person and from where I sit you did everything right. He, on the other hand will spend his life wondering why his relationships are so shallow and unhealthy. Maybe he should look in the mirror.
Hugs
YOU are a wonderful person, a person with values and integrity and wisdom beyond most. You met this man because he seemed like a person who would respect you and share friendship and then just see where that led. You were true to yourself and all you believe and the goodness in your heart got a little stomped on....shame on him.
All is not lost, you learned from this, and when the hurt stops you will see that you did nothing wrong and just being yourself is more than enough for any man wise enough to see past his "needs" and instead look at yours.
The gift in all this is that he showed his true colours so early in the relationship...remember what I told you MG said? Men tell all about themselves right off the hop and if we pay attention and believe what they say, we can decide if this is healthy or not.
Your recovery allowed you to see him for what he is...a cad and a selfish boor who is "all about HIM".
Egads, Rose, you are worth so much better than this and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will find someone worthy of all the beautiful things you have to give.
You are a beautiful person and from where I sit you did everything right. He, on the other hand will spend his life wondering why his relationships are so shallow and unhealthy. Maybe he should look in the mirror.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
rose,do not beat yourself up. God has a plan for you. all of this "mess" in your life is not your fault. this was a lesson in life. i am sure there is a gentleman out there somewhere just waiting to take care of you & love u for the wonderful person u are. take it slow with baby steps. let this creep go & do not look back.hugs,hope
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Finding Myself
Posts: 91
This simply wasn't the guy for you, it's not your fault. That is what dating is all about, spending time with people you think you might like to see if you are compatible. Clearly this was not a perfect match. That doesn't mean that no one will be a match, just not this guy. Don't give up. There is someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and you'll find him one day, probably when you least expect it.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
((((Rose))))
You should have called the codie bus (parked conveniently outside) the second he mentioned cuddling...we could have given him a "cuddle" he'd never forget.
Trust me Rose, I picked many thorns in my day.
Good men are out there. And you deserve a good man.
The guy did you a favor and some day you'll look back on this and laugh
((((hugs))))
Cece
You should have called the codie bus (parked conveniently outside) the second he mentioned cuddling...we could have given him a "cuddle" he'd never forget.
Trust me Rose, I picked many thorns in my day.
Good men are out there. And you deserve a good man.
The guy did you a favor and some day you'll look back on this and laugh
((((hugs))))
Cece
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
The first rule of dating is:
Sometimes it doesn't work out.
You learned more about yourself from that encounter. He told you what he was looking for, and you decided it wasn't what YOU were looking for. That sounds like a big victory to me !
There are lots of decent men out there.... so I'm told.... LOL. You needn't worry about me grabbing onto one first- I seem to be drawn to the fixer uppers...
Cats
Sometimes it doesn't work out.
You learned more about yourself from that encounter. He told you what he was looking for, and you decided it wasn't what YOU were looking for. That sounds like a big victory to me !
There are lots of decent men out there.... so I'm told.... LOL. You needn't worry about me grabbing onto one first- I seem to be drawn to the fixer uppers...
Cats
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((((((((((Rose))))))))))))))))
I can't believe that this guy expected you to get your freak on, on the first date.
Yes, it is the 21st century, and yes, people are insane, the further into the future we go, but....
What a bonehead! I'm mad for you.
What kinda person would do that? The kind that has no feelings, that's what.
Do you really want to be with someone who thinks so little of you?
I admit, I have had sex on the first date before.
With a guy who, once we did have sex, never left. lol
Within 3 months, everything he owned was in my apartment, and within 3 years, we were married. In September, we will have been together 13 years.
I was d*mn lucky. Things like that don't happen every day.
If this guy wants to bang every single woman he meets on the first day, then he is one shallow m*ther f*cker. Sorry. People like that p*ss me off.
Gosh, there are alot of stars in my post. lol
You deserve so much more than that, Rose.
Your kind, loving, considerate, and most of all, you have self worth and integrity.
Ya know what I say???? Scr*w him! lol
That made alot of sense, huh?
Seriously, you should have told him straight out, that if he planned on "cuddling" on the first date, you would have thought to bring your whips, chains, and handcuffs.
How's that for aggressive?
You will find someone that suits you better. I'm sure of it.
I can't believe he called you "shy" just because you weren't all over him.
What a bunch of crap.
Don't feel bad, Rose. This had nothing to do with you. Your prince charming will show up someday. I just know it.
Big hugs,
Linda
I can't believe that this guy expected you to get your freak on, on the first date.
Yes, it is the 21st century, and yes, people are insane, the further into the future we go, but....
What a bonehead! I'm mad for you.
What kinda person would do that? The kind that has no feelings, that's what.
Do you really want to be with someone who thinks so little of you?
I admit, I have had sex on the first date before.
With a guy who, once we did have sex, never left. lol
Within 3 months, everything he owned was in my apartment, and within 3 years, we were married. In September, we will have been together 13 years.
I was d*mn lucky. Things like that don't happen every day.
If this guy wants to bang every single woman he meets on the first day, then he is one shallow m*ther f*cker. Sorry. People like that p*ss me off.
Gosh, there are alot of stars in my post. lol
You deserve so much more than that, Rose.
Your kind, loving, considerate, and most of all, you have self worth and integrity.
Ya know what I say???? Scr*w him! lol
That made alot of sense, huh?
Seriously, you should have told him straight out, that if he planned on "cuddling" on the first date, you would have thought to bring your whips, chains, and handcuffs.
How's that for aggressive?
You will find someone that suits you better. I'm sure of it.
I can't believe he called you "shy" just because you weren't all over him.
What a bunch of crap.
Don't feel bad, Rose. This had nothing to do with you. Your prince charming will show up someday. I just know it.
Big hugs,
Linda
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
It's all about him...not you...He's a cad and a slimy one at that...Who the heck with sincerity is looking for "an aggressive lover" on their first date??? Geez, what a toad.
You are too good for him Rose...Rejoice that you saw him for what he was right away and know that the right person is there waiting for you when you least expect it....Expectations...gosh they can cause us trouble, can't they? I've been working on learning to let go of expectations while holding on to hope. I know this is rambling, but in a way I can't articulate it is all related to your post. Keep the focus on you, Rose and be gentle with yourself...It will all come in place as you continue to grow in your recovery. Hugs
You are too good for him Rose...Rejoice that you saw him for what he was right away and know that the right person is there waiting for you when you least expect it....Expectations...gosh they can cause us trouble, can't they? I've been working on learning to let go of expectations while holding on to hope. I know this is rambling, but in a way I can't articulate it is all related to your post. Keep the focus on you, Rose and be gentle with yourself...It will all come in place as you continue to grow in your recovery. Hugs
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
lover.................well that word..........implies LOVE is involved thou we know it doesnt HAVE to be
Anyway ROSE this guy was a jerk and you should be glad you found out NOW!!! How often do the jerks hold back......and wait till we start falling for them to show the true colors?
Theres NOTHING AT ALL wrong with you................keep trying, date for fun and company but dont sell yourself short YOU DESERVE good things and good people............
Anyway ROSE this guy was a jerk and you should be glad you found out NOW!!! How often do the jerks hold back......and wait till we start falling for them to show the true colors?
Theres NOTHING AT ALL wrong with you................keep trying, date for fun and company but dont sell yourself short YOU DESERVE good things and good people............
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
ALSO.......now heres my ugly side I'd tell this jerk if he wants an aggressive lover on the first date he needs to go to one of those corners and BUY one because dinner and a movie ISNT payment of AGGRESSIVE SEX unless your a callgirl
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Rose, A little tip my daughter always tells me to keep in mind.
"YOU AREN'T THAT DESPERATE AND HE'S NOT THAT LUCKY".
Remember some men think with the lower part of their brain..........(not the one in their head)
SMILE...............Lo
"YOU AREN'T THAT DESPERATE AND HE'S NOT THAT LUCKY".
Remember some men think with the lower part of their brain..........(not the one in their head)
SMILE...............Lo
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: punta gorda florida
Posts: 381
nothing wrong with you. I wanna get my freak on too, just haven't yet, could have, wanted to, could not do it. God has good things in store for me, I feel it in the wind, NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.....Good things are coming..I feel it
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