carpediem89

I'm not sure if I'm truley considered an 'addict', but my therapist used the term on me the other day and it scared me...

heres me story:
Ive smoked pot and drank all through high school (I just recentley graduated). Ive never really had a problem with either. I've also tried coke and pills like vicoden and perks. I've never been out of control with any of that though.
That is untill I tried amphetamines, ADHD medication(adderal, concerta, ritalin). The first time I took adderal was about a year and a half ago. I remember the friend who gave them to me said to use the drug sparingly becuase it could be addictive. And I did at first.

The feeling it gave me was amazing. Top of the world, thrilled to be alive, no appetite, motivated, focused, and unstopable. This past winted I got pretty depressed and started using it more and more. Now i take it every other day pretty much and i cant control it.

The worst part is that my tolerance has gone through the roof. I need to take 80 mg to feel anything, and it used to be that 30 mg was all i needed. Im scared its really affected my personality. It used to make me really sociable and confident, and thats worn off and I just feel awkward and alone now. And yet I still always want to take it...?

I really thought it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I came up with the best ideas on it and I could write for hours when I took it, and get a million things done. Now I feel like I dont even recognize myself or the world when im on it or off of it. Its like I cant get the original high back, and I cant get my old self back.

So I want to quit. But at the same time Im not even sure about that. It feels like Im giving up the best thing that ever happened to me.

teej

Hang in there someone will be along soon with that in common. I wish the best for you!
Welcome to SR!!

GlassPrisoner

Yet, good choice of words.

I'm, a recovering alcoholic, so I can't help much. But the initial feeling, increased tolerance and loss of control all indicate that you're possibly an addict.

There's a substance abuse forum here, they can probably help you more.

Good luck, and consider yourself lucky for recognizing a potential problem while you're still young. It's a lot harder when you get to be 40 something,

best

Take a 2 week test.

Go two weeks without taking any drugs or alcohol.
You will find out how much they affect your life and if you have control over them or do they have control over you.

Aysha

I agree..Take the 2 week test. But i think if your already going a couple days..and you want it. That you are headed in that direction.
And at such a young age is the best time to get this taken care of. It does get harder as you get older. And to rebuild the loss as time goes by gets harder as well.
When you become dependant on something like that. I would say it's time to get some help.
I wish you luck.
And glad you found us.
Keep posting.

justasbrgrl

Two weeks is a very good idea. Even if you do pass, and it is easy, you should still think about quitting. It sounds to me like you are heading towards addiction, if you are not already there. Good luck. I hope you figure everything out.

justasbrgrl

CarolD

Welcome to SR!...

You have red flags flying all over your post.
Lot's of danger signals.

You would be wise to talk to a medical professional
on how to detox safely....if you choose to quit.

Glad you are here...

Spiritual Seeker

You are injesting drugs that are highly addictive of course you are an addict. At least you recognize it.Ask for help,and get help. before the downward spiral gets worse. I bet when you were 10 yrs. old and asked, "what do ya wanna be when ya grow up?" your reply was not, "Addict" Tell your parents you need help. This is not something to hide from. You dabbled since you were a early teen and now you're hooked. Your develping brain has not had a chance to mature.Don't let the main symptom of addiction brain, denial, stop you. Best wishes for recovery. I work with teens and I am a neuropathologist so I do understand

citychick

I dunno buddy......if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck.....yeah, the two week thing sounds like a good idea, but I think you already know. good luck, SR has a great deal of useful information.

Grateful Heart

You have come to the right place, Carpediem. There are alot of kind, knowledgeable and understanding people here. I agree with the others...seek help ASAP. And please keep posting. Glad to have you with us.