here's my story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 7
here's my story
Well.. here we go..
I am brand new to this forum, I stumpled accross it thru a search.
I am 23 years old. I started doing coke (snorting it) when I was about 20. I had moved from Canada to Central America, because I have itchy feet any needed adventure. Anyway, while there I started to do coke, like I said at age 20, which then turned to an addiction to Xanax and Valium to take away the anxiety and help me sleep. (I would take up to 10 or more pills probably a day, the country I was in had a pharmacy on the corner which sold me Xanax 2MG and Valium 10MG for .90 cents each. The cocaine cost $7 for a gram. I was in a totally different, backwards country, where everything was extremly cheap and available. I was lonely and bored. (Great excuse huh?)
I did coke probably every day or other day, after work, never drunk, always sober when I did it. which then went to missing work, etc. One day, it call came crashing down. I had OD'd on coke. My room mate found me on the bathroom floor, called my family and I went to the hospital. (Even though, oddly enough, I had OD'd. I didn't even know what happened when I woke up. I thought everyone was messing with me.
I stayed away from it for maybe 2 weeks, until, again, my demons started talking. I went on for about another 6 months or a year or so (i dont remember exact dates). And I was at my work, and I OD'd again (had a seizure).
Now the problem..
In 2006 after going and using coke again (smart huh? especially after 2 od's) and begining to use it 2 or more times a week, I decided to move back home to canada to try and sober up. I was 22 when I moved back last year.
I still do cocaine to this day, however I havent done a "Sober" Rail in a while, since probably about 2006. I haven't used a pill though, since that first time in 2004 (Which in part I guess is good). Now, when I do it, its about once or twice a week, but on a friday or saturday after heavy drinking with my friends. im 23, I have a lot of friends and I like to party. I live on an island. What can I do? I am young, I have a good future (i think) and have lots to offer. It hasnt affected me at work since I run my own company. But. I am worried my luck may run out soon (knock on wood). I have never done a rail when I am sober now in a VERY long time. It can be right in front of me, and I do not want it. I do it to "sober up"..
Anyone able to relate to this? Any ideas how I can get this **** out of my life forever?
Appreciate you taking the time to read this... thank u all
I am a very hyper and high energy person..
BTW I should add: I drink and smoke marijuana as well. I, however have never SMOKED (exept weed and cigarrets) or INJECTED anything into my body.
I am brand new to this forum, I stumpled accross it thru a search.
I am 23 years old. I started doing coke (snorting it) when I was about 20. I had moved from Canada to Central America, because I have itchy feet any needed adventure. Anyway, while there I started to do coke, like I said at age 20, which then turned to an addiction to Xanax and Valium to take away the anxiety and help me sleep. (I would take up to 10 or more pills probably a day, the country I was in had a pharmacy on the corner which sold me Xanax 2MG and Valium 10MG for .90 cents each. The cocaine cost $7 for a gram. I was in a totally different, backwards country, where everything was extremly cheap and available. I was lonely and bored. (Great excuse huh?)
I did coke probably every day or other day, after work, never drunk, always sober when I did it. which then went to missing work, etc. One day, it call came crashing down. I had OD'd on coke. My room mate found me on the bathroom floor, called my family and I went to the hospital. (Even though, oddly enough, I had OD'd. I didn't even know what happened when I woke up. I thought everyone was messing with me.
I stayed away from it for maybe 2 weeks, until, again, my demons started talking. I went on for about another 6 months or a year or so (i dont remember exact dates). And I was at my work, and I OD'd again (had a seizure).
Now the problem..
In 2006 after going and using coke again (smart huh? especially after 2 od's) and begining to use it 2 or more times a week, I decided to move back home to canada to try and sober up. I was 22 when I moved back last year.
I still do cocaine to this day, however I havent done a "Sober" Rail in a while, since probably about 2006. I haven't used a pill though, since that first time in 2004 (Which in part I guess is good). Now, when I do it, its about once or twice a week, but on a friday or saturday after heavy drinking with my friends. im 23, I have a lot of friends and I like to party. I live on an island. What can I do? I am young, I have a good future (i think) and have lots to offer. It hasnt affected me at work since I run my own company. But. I am worried my luck may run out soon (knock on wood). I have never done a rail when I am sober now in a VERY long time. It can be right in front of me, and I do not want it. I do it to "sober up"..
Anyone able to relate to this? Any ideas how I can get this **** out of my life forever?
Appreciate you taking the time to read this... thank u all
I am a very hyper and high energy person..
BTW I should add: I drink and smoke marijuana as well. I, however have never SMOKED (exept weed and cigarrets) or INJECTED anything into my body.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Hi Acix and welcome to SR!
Its great that you are ready to turn your life around and kick the drugs. I found support in 12 step programs, as well as here at SR. Its been years since I used and it was definitely important for me to learn learn learn about the addiction/alcoholism process as well as other people's experiences.
You might want to go over to the Substance Abuse Forum, in addition to this Newcomers one. Read up, post some more and congratulations on your decision!
Good luck..
Its great that you are ready to turn your life around and kick the drugs. I found support in 12 step programs, as well as here at SR. Its been years since I used and it was definitely important for me to learn learn learn about the addiction/alcoholism process as well as other people's experiences.
You might want to go over to the Substance Abuse Forum, in addition to this Newcomers one. Read up, post some more and congratulations on your decision!
Good luck..
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I can't answer your quest. But I can relate bec my 23 yr old son is an addict. This disease is progressive. You admitted you are addict but your addicted brain still spits out the denial. Keep up your lifestyle and we can predict where you'll be in a few yrs. OR learn all you can about recovery. Get to AA/NA meetings, outpatient program or better yet, a long-term treatment facility cuz the longer in treatment the better chance. It is the 1st step to admit you are powerless over alcohol?drugs.
Sounds like a lot of money and energy go into using. Also sounds like you are seeking another way. Best wishes for a positive outcome
Sounds like a lot of money and energy go into using. Also sounds like you are seeking another way. Best wishes for a positive outcome
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!...
Take a look around we have lots of info and many of us
understand how addiction works.
My first thought? If you only do coke after drinking...
I suggest you quit drinking.
Then you will be clean and sober both!!
Keep posting...I'm glad you are here.
BTW...I quit drugs long before I gave up alcohol.
I am an alcoholic in AA recovery.
Take a look around we have lots of info and many of us
understand how addiction works.
My first thought? If you only do coke after drinking...
I suggest you quit drinking.
Then you will be clean and sober both!!
Keep posting...I'm glad you are here.
BTW...I quit drugs long before I gave up alcohol.
I am an alcoholic in AA recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Welcome to SR acix!
Glad you found us. I'm starting over myself, so I can pretty much relate. My problem
is beer. I tried coke when I was in my early 20's and stopped that right away, because i knew right there (could see the writing on the wall) that I would have a problem in no time if I ever did it again. I'm glad you want to start anew too. Keep posting, there's tons of people on here with the exact same addiction you're having.
Glad you found us. I'm starting over myself, so I can pretty much relate. My problem
is beer. I tried coke when I was in my early 20's and stopped that right away, because i knew right there (could see the writing on the wall) that I would have a problem in no time if I ever did it again. I'm glad you want to start anew too. Keep posting, there's tons of people on here with the exact same addiction you're having.
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
very similiar story. i was 20 when i got addicted to coke and valium/xanex. i hated coming down off coke so my benzo addiction took over. i had a chance to stop it at 23 through interventions/rehab but didnt. eventually i became a heroin addict, something i SWORE i would never do seeing as im from a well-off family. by 25 i was a homeless gutter punk constantly OD'ing and nodding off at friends funerals. AA was my only option other than death. i hope it doesnt come to that for you but thats where my disease takes me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
