MissesNormalDaD

well first off hey everyone (: havent been on for a while. well as you all know that mydad went through treatment and got out well about 2 weeks or so, ago he relapsed with a friend from treatment thats a total *not to use foul language* a-hole. he has been selling Oxycodone to my dad and drinking with my dad. so now my mom kicked him out and he is living with his parents about amile away. it really hurts me, hes even more addicted now i believe then everr before...prayers would really help right now :-\
not to mention that i also sold my paintball/shotgun for extra money for groceries, my mom beggggged me not to cuz she did not want me to do it at all it was my things that i bought with my own money. but i made her drive me there. like i said prayers for help right now pleasee :-(
thanks, ryan

Spiritual Seeker

"Letting Go" is a tough idea and even harder act, but essential. Get focused on your own life cuz your dad is not ready to change his life. get info on detachment so that the cycle of addiction stops with you.You can't cure him so try to have fear + worry as your driving force. Be all that you can be in spite of an addicted dad. Don't let it impair the great life you are meant to have. Sorry your dad is not there for you, but that is the card you were dealt. don't let it determine who you will become.

Lovestoomuch

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's relapse. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Ann

I know how disappointing it is to see them relapse after rehab, especially when we get our hopes up that this time will be different.

It's not a reflection on you or your dad's love for you, it's just what addiction does to people we love.

Have you and your mom been to any meetings? It might help to try a few and learn how to heal and keep moving even when your dad is lost in his disease.

Hugs

rozied

Hi Ryan, My name is Diane & the addict in my life is my son. As Ann said it is very hard having someone you love addicted to drugs but you cannot do anything about it. I know you really must want to help your mom and thats great but all of this is not your fault. Is you mom getting any help for dealing with an addicted husband? Coming here will really help you alot. It would help your mom also. Going to face to face mtgs would help also.
I will keep you & your family in my prayers.
Love,
Diane

caileesnana

i dont know what to say except prayer works. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
susan

Louise54

Prayers to you and your mom, Ryan. Hang in there.

Nitelite

Hi, Ryan;
My dad used; I'm grown now, but I still remember how powerless I felt, and I still remember worrying about the grocery money too, even tho I was still a kid.

But, like Ann said, this is just what addicts do. It has nothing to do with their love for you. My dad's mind was ~ well, my dad was in there somewhere.

Al-anon and Alateen may not have all the answers, but I would have given anything to have been around other people who knew what I was going through. One of the worst things for me was the sense of isolation and secrecy, and sometimes feeling ashamed, too, for being part of a "normal" family where all these crazy things were going on.

Hugs and prayers to you & your mom, Ryan ~ Nitelite

abtchonamission

Sending prayers...

liesagain

Ryan you are a good son and your mom ( and dad ) know that. Addiction is a horrible thing and it hurts us , the family, alot but somewhere along the line we have to learn its not anything we've done or could do differently.

Try to find an alateen meeting if you can, and if you can't then keep coming here ........your NOT ALONE!!!!
And we care how your doing.

MissesNormalDaD

Thanks everyone, yeah i have a meeting at school usually about 4 kids including me and 2 councilors' (how ever you spell it ( and now that school is ending, in 3 days it will be hard to find one for myself. My mom would LOVE it if i went to meetings, i am actually babysitting for her tonight so she can go to her 3rd meeting she has been to. I'm really proud of her (: my dad called a few ago and tried saying for us to borrow him 50$ to get gas in his truck i know thats not why. He wants it to buy 3 things: cigs, booze, and pills. well have to go mow our lawn thanks again!

ryan.

raerae6

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems and also that you had to sell your paintball gun. This must all be very hard for you. I know how it feels to have a loved one with addiction issues.

My heart goes out to you. i hope things get better.

Remember none of this is your fault and keep going to the meetings. You sound very strong in your ability to cope. Hang in there!

((((hugs))))

Live

Hi, Ryan,

I am glad you had those meetings after school. And that your mom is getting to meetings too now.

I remember you and that you were trying to do everything you could, not sleeping and still keeping up at school and playing football. And yes, that you babysat alot.

I hope you will find an outlet and some support here.

I know how much you want to fix things for your family.....

so to repeat....

You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.

hugs,
live