Losing my battle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Ontario
Posts: 12
Losing my battle
I gotta do something fast.
This week has to be the worst week in my life. berried a family member on sat of last week to kick off my week of hell, and from that on nothing has seem to went right. I tried to make an appointment to see someone to help me get through the problems in my life, only to get moved to the back of the list. They didn't call when they said they were going to, and when they did to make an appointment they told me that It would be about a month before anyone could see me. I waited around from Monday tell Wednesday for them to tell me, I'm just a little depressed, and they will fit me in when they have the room. I have called others in my area and they are not accepting anyone right now, but to call back on a later date. I'm sick of this, and I'm sick.
In sort for people who don't know my story. My girlfriend is becoming a drunk, and I'm an ex drunk. I have been alcohol and drug free for 6 years and want to keep it that way. I have never been to an AA meeting I stopped cold. Now that problems have started with the GF, I'm starting to become stick. My family has a history of Manic Depression and I'm afraid of heading down the same road. I'm also afraid I'll start to drink again and do drugs.
I am going to try to make a Doctors appointment tomorrow and see what he says. I am running out of time. I sleep about 4 hours a night, and eat about one meal a day. I lost 30lbs in a month. I'm really depressed.
Anyone else have tips about how to deal with this? I'll answer any questions.
This week has to be the worst week in my life. berried a family member on sat of last week to kick off my week of hell, and from that on nothing has seem to went right. I tried to make an appointment to see someone to help me get through the problems in my life, only to get moved to the back of the list. They didn't call when they said they were going to, and when they did to make an appointment they told me that It would be about a month before anyone could see me. I waited around from Monday tell Wednesday for them to tell me, I'm just a little depressed, and they will fit me in when they have the room. I have called others in my area and they are not accepting anyone right now, but to call back on a later date. I'm sick of this, and I'm sick.
In sort for people who don't know my story. My girlfriend is becoming a drunk, and I'm an ex drunk. I have been alcohol and drug free for 6 years and want to keep it that way. I have never been to an AA meeting I stopped cold. Now that problems have started with the GF, I'm starting to become stick. My family has a history of Manic Depression and I'm afraid of heading down the same road. I'm also afraid I'll start to drink again and do drugs.
I am going to try to make a Doctors appointment tomorrow and see what he says. I am running out of time. I sleep about 4 hours a night, and eat about one meal a day. I lost 30lbs in a month. I'm really depressed.
Anyone else have tips about how to deal with this? I'll answer any questions.
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Well maybe it's time to go to a AA or Alanon meeting.
Since you are now part of both groups.
There are people to talk to there and support that wont put you on the back burner for a week.
Since you are now part of both groups.
There are people to talk to there and support that wont put you on the back burner for a week.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
Go see a Doctor. With your family history of Depression, its a good possibility you have a little Chemical imbalance. This is treatable.
No need to say, you know the answer....stay away from alcohol and drugs. If you have to, for your health, stay away from the GF. Only your GF can help herself, just like you did!
Good Luck
No need to say, you know the answer....stay away from alcohol and drugs. If you have to, for your health, stay away from the GF. Only your GF can help herself, just like you did!
Good Luck
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
(((shawn))) If it's a month before you get in for a one-on-one, why not at least try a few Al-Anon meetings? It really helped me to have others to talk to face to face who knew what I was going through. The anxiety was making me sick, too. When I reach out, I am blessed.
it is what it is...
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 179
Hi Shawn!! It is good you are reaching out. I have heard that alot before that they are too busy to get you in right away. It is a great idea to go to a meeting. If that isn't an option right now either try to do something you like to do until you get there.
I know when you feel so down it is hard to do that but try. For me, sometimes going for walk, jog or lawn work is good for me. It is hard to get started but once I do I feel so much better. Exercise especially for me. Gets my body feeling stronger and helps clear my head. I don't know what you like to do but I like also reading a good book. Pick something that will get your mind off of stuff. Something trivial but absorbing. Reading can take you somewhere else for a while. When you feel better try some AA/Al-anon books. Amazon has lots to chose from and they are pretty inexpensive. What about some friends? Can you call them or go hang out?
Find something for you that will lighten things up. Sometimes it seems everything gets so heavy you don't see a way out. Life is too short to forget about the good things. There really are always good things even though they can be hard to find at the time.
Hang in there. I'm proud you are reaching for help. Keep posting here too. There is a lot to learn here and lots of people that care. Thanks.... Hugs for you. B
I know when you feel so down it is hard to do that but try. For me, sometimes going for walk, jog or lawn work is good for me. It is hard to get started but once I do I feel so much better. Exercise especially for me. Gets my body feeling stronger and helps clear my head. I don't know what you like to do but I like also reading a good book. Pick something that will get your mind off of stuff. Something trivial but absorbing. Reading can take you somewhere else for a while. When you feel better try some AA/Al-anon books. Amazon has lots to chose from and they are pretty inexpensive. What about some friends? Can you call them or go hang out?
Find something for you that will lighten things up. Sometimes it seems everything gets so heavy you don't see a way out. Life is too short to forget about the good things. There really are always good things even though they can be hard to find at the time.
Hang in there. I'm proud you are reaching for help. Keep posting here too. There is a lot to learn here and lots of people that care. Thanks.... Hugs for you. B
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Booneyville USA
Posts: 246
Shawn is there a reason you haven't gone to meetings? Wow. I'm impressed that you were able to fight this battle all on your own! What amazing strength. But now that may be coming to bite you in the butt and hurting your health. You need some kind of support system (some of which you will find here) but there's nothing like that "Face to face" support you will receive at a meeting with others who have been in your shoes and fight the exact same battle you are fighting! There is no feeling like the RELIEF you feel when you find you are not alone and there are others who care and want to help. Alanon is a great place to start because there are both recovering alcoholics and those who love them there (and nobody there is court ordered like some in AA. People in Alanon are there because they WANT help) would help you cope with whats going on with the GF and YOU 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
((Shawn))
I would agree, tell your doctor your family history and about your current situation. He may be able to give you something for anxiety which will help with the sleep and the not eating. I would also suggest alanon if AA doesn't appeal to you. I know how hard it is to get a quick appointment with therapists, it sucks. Hang in there.
I would agree, tell your doctor your family history and about your current situation. He may be able to give you something for anxiety which will help with the sleep and the not eating. I would also suggest alanon if AA doesn't appeal to you. I know how hard it is to get a quick appointment with therapists, it sucks. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Sorry to hear that life's particularly tough at the moment, Shawn, and I am sorry to hear of your loss.
As the others have mentioned, getting along to a support group might be a good interim measure - and who knows, you might just decide to stay. Al-anon was really helpful for me, along with counselling, although I no longer attend either for the time being. I do remember just how comforting the meetings were, though, and the group support with the chance of some one on one interactions outside the meetings kept me going through my darkest days.
Hang in there, buddy. And don't forget that we are here 24/7 as well.
As the others have mentioned, getting along to a support group might be a good interim measure - and who knows, you might just decide to stay. Al-anon was really helpful for me, along with counselling, although I no longer attend either for the time being. I do remember just how comforting the meetings were, though, and the group support with the chance of some one on one interactions outside the meetings kept me going through my darkest days.
Hang in there, buddy. And don't forget that we are here 24/7 as well.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
[quoteI'm really depressed.[/quote]
I felt like that only one time in my life. It just came to me, I need more help than I was used to asking for.
I went to my family doc, because frankly, I had tried the one on one counseling thing, and it didn't work for ME. I needed whatever my doc wanted to give me to get me though. It had honestly gotten to the point, where I didn't want something to HELP me, just to simply get me through the day, the hour and sometimes the minute.
She prescirbed antidepressents after calming this hippie chicks fear of "chemical intervention"
Its GOOD your going to your doc. I found the hardest part for me, was being up font and honest. Not sugar coating everything like I tend to do when the chips are down. My codie self saying, "its not that bad, you can do it, your STRONG"!! Nope, give me the drugs,,,lol.
Only needed em for 3 months, while I developed my "plan" and coping skills.
It bought me the time i needed to make some decisions in MY life
Take care of yourself Shawn
Peace
I felt like that only one time in my life. It just came to me, I need more help than I was used to asking for.
I went to my family doc, because frankly, I had tried the one on one counseling thing, and it didn't work for ME. I needed whatever my doc wanted to give me to get me though. It had honestly gotten to the point, where I didn't want something to HELP me, just to simply get me through the day, the hour and sometimes the minute.
She prescirbed antidepressents after calming this hippie chicks fear of "chemical intervention"
Its GOOD your going to your doc. I found the hardest part for me, was being up font and honest. Not sugar coating everything like I tend to do when the chips are down. My codie self saying, "its not that bad, you can do it, your STRONG"!! Nope, give me the drugs,,,lol.
Only needed em for 3 months, while I developed my "plan" and coping skills.
It bought me the time i needed to make some decisions in MY life
Take care of yourself Shawn
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Durango, Colorado
Posts: 9
Medication helped me a lot with depression. It's genetic; don't beat yourself up if you are manic-depressive (bipolar). It's not your fault, but it is treatable, and treatments are getting better all the time. Best of luck to you, and please - hurry!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Ontario
Posts: 12
Thanks for the comments. Yes I quit cold turkey and it was really hard to do, thank god I wasn't to bad when I stopped cuz I would have needed real bad help. The counselor called today to ask questions and come to find out that this will cost me about $300 for what I don't know. I have made a doctors appointment to get checked out for problems. I wouldn't mind sitting in on some Alanon meetings, but they are to far from me to travel.
I'm kinda stuck in a rut right now.
I'm kinda stuck in a rut right now.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Been there. I remember that feeling. Cant sleep, but so tired I cant even function. Anxious, nauseus, headaches that wouldnt quit.
I remember going to my doctor and her first question was, how are things at home?
She too recommended some therapy and mental health help for me.
My physical ailments eased up alot once I got in a better mental place.
So sorry things are like this now for you.
Whats good in your life right now?
I remember going to my doctor and her first question was, how are things at home?
She too recommended some therapy and mental health help for me.
My physical ailments eased up alot once I got in a better mental place.
So sorry things are like this now for you.
Whats good in your life right now?
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I go to alanon and working the 12 steps and practicing them in all of my affairs has improved my life radically like nothing else had, even counseling. Get treated for your depression and use AA to keep you in balance is my suggestion since you asked for one.
Maybe this is a good time to get the support + fellowship available in meetings. You say you're ready for relapse, maybe this time AA will be a welcome addition to your life.
Maybe this is a good time to get the support + fellowship available in meetings. You say you're ready for relapse, maybe this time AA will be a welcome addition to your life.
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