A Weight off My Shoulders....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
A Weight off My Shoulders....
Hi Everyone...
Well today my oldest and the girlfriend pushed one to many buttons with me and I made him pack his bags and leave. On Weds he was expelled from school for bulling, intimidation and assault on another boy. He additude with it was this is a bunch of crap. On Tuesday the girlfriend was here and they were having a fight until 2am with doors slamming, yelling and screaming at each other. They are back lovey dove again and today they started on me again, accusing me again of stealing his income tax return from 2005. At that time he needed a motor for his car and a friend of mine found one for $300. The agreement was that I would help him out and pay for it and when his tax return came back he was to pay me the money back. So as time went he starting asking me when his tax return was going to come. He had no intention of paying me back the $300. When the return came I took the cheque to the bank and took the money back he owed me. We have a joint account....not my main account. The girlfriend says to me....you say you want to be able to help your kids and then you steal from them. More was being said and I told him it is time to get out, he said you get out. I told him this is my house I pay the mortgage and you are getting out...he said ya right do you even pay the mortgage. She pipes in and says ha you can't even pay your phone bill. We have a family package cell phones and both of the boys used way above the minutes, plus he didn't pay his part for 2 months the bill got behind and the phones were suspended until it was paid and I made them pay it up as they both were in dire straights with out the cells. They figured that I should have split it with them. I paid my part,
The nerve of this little witch at 16 talking to me about paying bills. Then I told her that I had found notes written to the school excusing my son for not attending and she forged my name on it....her remark...I learned it from you.
Then he called me nuts and retarted, I said well I like being nuts and retarted.
I told them to get going, he said I am not leaving here until you go get some food, I said if you don't get out I am going to call the police to have both of you removed, ya right he said, so I went to the phone book to call the police station (you would think that I would have that number memorized) he pipes up and says you can't even see the phone book.
But I did manage to send him packing and he is gone and so is she. He is 18 and I don't have to have him here and I don't have to live walking on eggshells anymore.
Rose
Well today my oldest and the girlfriend pushed one to many buttons with me and I made him pack his bags and leave. On Weds he was expelled from school for bulling, intimidation and assault on another boy. He additude with it was this is a bunch of crap. On Tuesday the girlfriend was here and they were having a fight until 2am with doors slamming, yelling and screaming at each other. They are back lovey dove again and today they started on me again, accusing me again of stealing his income tax return from 2005. At that time he needed a motor for his car and a friend of mine found one for $300. The agreement was that I would help him out and pay for it and when his tax return came back he was to pay me the money back. So as time went he starting asking me when his tax return was going to come. He had no intention of paying me back the $300. When the return came I took the cheque to the bank and took the money back he owed me. We have a joint account....not my main account. The girlfriend says to me....you say you want to be able to help your kids and then you steal from them. More was being said and I told him it is time to get out, he said you get out. I told him this is my house I pay the mortgage and you are getting out...he said ya right do you even pay the mortgage. She pipes in and says ha you can't even pay your phone bill. We have a family package cell phones and both of the boys used way above the minutes, plus he didn't pay his part for 2 months the bill got behind and the phones were suspended until it was paid and I made them pay it up as they both were in dire straights with out the cells. They figured that I should have split it with them. I paid my part,
The nerve of this little witch at 16 talking to me about paying bills. Then I told her that I had found notes written to the school excusing my son for not attending and she forged my name on it....her remark...I learned it from you.
Then he called me nuts and retarted, I said well I like being nuts and retarted.
I told them to get going, he said I am not leaving here until you go get some food, I said if you don't get out I am going to call the police to have both of you removed, ya right he said, so I went to the phone book to call the police station (you would think that I would have that number memorized) he pipes up and says you can't even see the phone book.
But I did manage to send him packing and he is gone and so is she. He is 18 and I don't have to have him here and I don't have to live walking on eggshells anymore.
Rose
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Rose,
Your recovery is really shining. I am proud of you since I know how hard it was to make your son leave. You do not deserve to be treated the way they were treating you. She is a big witch with a capital B. How dare her to speak to you that way.
Maybe things will start going better for you, I might even turn off his cell so he does not go over the minutes again. If he wants one let him pay for it.
Hugs coming your way
Your recovery is really shining. I am proud of you since I know how hard it was to make your son leave. You do not deserve to be treated the way they were treating you. She is a big witch with a capital B. How dare her to speak to you that way.
Maybe things will start going better for you, I might even turn off his cell so he does not go over the minutes again. If he wants one let him pay for it.
Hugs coming your way
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Oh Rose, My heart goes out to you & I really believe you did the right thing putting them out. I have a 33 yr old son that 8 yrs ago took up with a woman we didn't care for. I let him move her into my house. He would go to wk & she would sleep until 3pm get up & ask if she could help. What a joke I had been up since 5am & everything was done!!! They got their own place & had 2 sons together. This woman slapped me in the face once over money I had given them for food that I wanted bk. About 2 yrs ago my son put her out for cheating on him & staying out for 4 & 5 nites at a time. My son is now a single parent of a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old.
If you don't put your foot down with him it will only get worse. My 33 yr old has a hard time taking no from me for an answer. Yesterday I went over to help him & he wanted $20. I said No I don't have it. He proceeded to have a temper tantrum & it is NOT PRETTY seeing a 33 yr old man acting like he was 2. I left my car there & walked home. I have spoiled this "man " for yrs & Rose believe me it only gets worse. I was very sick for 20 yrs. I had 14 major surgeries & was in severe pain for most of the 20yrs. It was easier to give in than to fight with him but not anymore. Since I had a Spinal Revision June 8th of 05 I am alot better. I refuse to be intimidated by him anymore. He did the same thing yesterday your son did....called me ugly & fat & told me he hated me. Yes I bet he does cuz I made him dependent on me by spoiling him BUT not anymore. Your son is only 18.............I am so glad you stood up to him........NOW don't back down. It will only get worse as he gets older, believe me I know.
Love & Hugs,
Diane
If you don't put your foot down with him it will only get worse. My 33 yr old has a hard time taking no from me for an answer. Yesterday I went over to help him & he wanted $20. I said No I don't have it. He proceeded to have a temper tantrum & it is NOT PRETTY seeing a 33 yr old man acting like he was 2. I left my car there & walked home. I have spoiled this "man " for yrs & Rose believe me it only gets worse. I was very sick for 20 yrs. I had 14 major surgeries & was in severe pain for most of the 20yrs. It was easier to give in than to fight with him but not anymore. Since I had a Spinal Revision June 8th of 05 I am alot better. I refuse to be intimidated by him anymore. He did the same thing yesterday your son did....called me ugly & fat & told me he hated me. Yes I bet he does cuz I made him dependent on me by spoiling him BUT not anymore. Your son is only 18.............I am so glad you stood up to him........NOW don't back down. It will only get worse as he gets older, believe me I know.
Love & Hugs,
Diane
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
You ALL sound like you are making the RIGHT moves.
I have never had the privilege to share space with such STRONG women.
It is not my PLACE to be proud of you all... all 3 of you... but I truly am.
You ladies are AWESOME.. and Rose, YOU ROCK!
I have never had the privilege to share space with such STRONG women.
It is not my PLACE to be proud of you all... all 3 of you... but I truly am.
You ladies are AWESOME.. and Rose, YOU ROCK!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: punta gorda florida
Posts: 381
thank god you did what you did. Boundaries are a good thing. You do not deserve this abuse and that is what it is. I feel sorry for the both of them, they must be without conscience to act the way they did. I am glad you are OK.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
That is most definitely abuse and you sure don't have to take a day of it, Rose.
I am sitting here cheering you on because I'm so darn proud of you for having the courage to do this. And look at the bright side for him too...he's getting some pretty valuable lessons here. The school will no longer put up with his bullying, you will no longer put up with his bullying and sooner or later he's going to find himself alone and realize that it's all on him for his bad behaviour.
Don't even ask me what I think of the girlfriend from hell
:
Love you Rose, you're an amazing lady.
Hugs
I am sitting here cheering you on because I'm so darn proud of you for having the courage to do this. And look at the bright side for him too...he's getting some pretty valuable lessons here. The school will no longer put up with his bullying, you will no longer put up with his bullying and sooner or later he's going to find himself alone and realize that it's all on him for his bad behaviour.
Don't even ask me what I think of the girlfriend from hell
:Love you Rose, you're an amazing lady.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
rose -
wow - i remember you saying how disrespectful your kids were being and your ex apologizing - hopefully the other one will see what acting like a disrespectful jerk to your mother will get you - not much - and - if i were you - it would have taken all that i had to not be charged with assault in regards to the girlfriend - good for you rose - good for you...
love,
s
wow - i remember you saying how disrespectful your kids were being and your ex apologizing - hopefully the other one will see what acting like a disrespectful jerk to your mother will get you - not much - and - if i were you - it would have taken all that i had to not be charged with assault in regards to the girlfriend - good for you rose - good for you...
love,
s
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
((((Rose)))))
I am so proud of you!! I know that took a lot of guts and courage. It's been a long time coming. You did what you HAD to do; what is positively best for you and in the long run, for him.
No mother should have to listen to that kind of crap. And stick to your guns; if he comes back to harrass you, call the police. You deserve so much better than what both of them were dishing out. Shame on them. And I'm with Ann about the gf! Who does she think she is?
Like we say, "nothing changes if nothing changes". YOU made it change and I applaud you.
I am so proud of you!! I know that took a lot of guts and courage. It's been a long time coming. You did what you HAD to do; what is positively best for you and in the long run, for him.
No mother should have to listen to that kind of crap. And stick to your guns; if he comes back to harrass you, call the police. You deserve so much better than what both of them were dishing out. Shame on them. And I'm with Ann about the gf! Who does she think she is?
Like we say, "nothing changes if nothing changes". YOU made it change and I applaud you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Rose, Adding my congratulations for standing up to them. Last summer I was paying for a second cell phone that my daughter had on her bill. I decided that I wanted to cancel my part of that bill so I called and told the company to cancel my cell. It cost $120 to cancel it and I figured my daughter could pay it since she still owed me over $5000 for things that I paid for her. She had the nerve to call me and ask me for the $120. I reminded her of what she owed me. Thank goodness that she had the grace to not argue
Your son may have a rocky road for the next few years, but at least you can have the peace of mind that it is his road and you are not putting up any roadblocks to his learning to survive it. Hugs, Marle
Your son may have a rocky road for the next few years, but at least you can have the peace of mind that it is his road and you are not putting up any roadblocks to his learning to survive it. Hugs, Marle
Or However You Spell It....
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Safe
Posts: 4,264
WOW! Way to go Rose. I too am proud of you for having the courage to finally stand up for yourself, take back your life, self respect, and you did it all with such grace. No one should be spoken to or treated the way you were......especially not by your son and his .....................I'll be nice.
Who does the girlfriend think she is anyways? You didn't have to open up your home to her, but you did and that's the treatment you get? Well, now your son is 18, you don't have to open up your home to him either and hopefully one day he'll figure out that this life isn't all about him.
Recovery looks good on you Rose.
Who does the girlfriend think she is anyways? You didn't have to open up your home to her, but you did and that's the treatment you get? Well, now your son is 18, you don't have to open up your home to him either and hopefully one day he'll figure out that this life isn't all about him.
Recovery looks good on you Rose.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
What else could you do? One of the mind boggling things about addicts is their total unappreciative attitude for any thing you do for them. They expect more and more, and what ever you do is never enough!
And, we can't feel like we are not doing enough! We do TOO MUCH.
One day when they are sitting on the street curb they'll begin to realize that if they want to live a "normal" life, they will have to change their attitude.
Its true too, that you do have a huge weight lifted off your shoulders when you're not taking care of an addict.
And, we can't feel like we are not doing enough! We do TOO MUCH.
One day when they are sitting on the street curb they'll begin to realize that if they want to live a "normal" life, they will have to change their attitude.
Its true too, that you do have a huge weight lifted off your shoulders when you're not taking care of an addict.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
(((Rose))))
I'm so proud of you I could spit!
NO ONE has to take that kind of disrespect,
and verbal abuse, let alone from our child!
IMHO,You did the right thing Rose.
I think GFFH is just making him act out more, but his choice, right?
Enjoy the peace for as long as it lasts,
and let his H.P. take over.
Hugs,
I'm so proud of you I could spit!
NO ONE has to take that kind of disrespect,
and verbal abuse, let alone from our child!
IMHO,You did the right thing Rose.
I think GFFH is just making him act out more, but his choice, right?
Enjoy the peace for as long as it lasts,
and let his H.P. take over.
Hugs,
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Rose, wow I am also proud of you. Like you said he's 18 you don't need to deal with anymore. He is always disrespecting you and you certainly dont deserve it.
Way to go Rose.... remember what he does is out of your hands.
Glad you posted this you have been on mind lately.
Hugs,
Jewel
Way to go Rose.... remember what he does is out of your hands.
Glad you posted this you have been on mind lately.
Hugs,
Jewel
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
I do feel better today...I was just shaking inside for a couple of hours after this happened....I was mad and so hurt of the remarks he was making to me.
Last weekend I asked that that the boys borrow a weed eater from work, they work for a rental company and I have a blackberry problem here that needs a heavy duty weed eater to cut them down...my oldest says I don't know who she plans on weed eating but I'm not doing it. The weed eater is heavy and you have to strap yourself into it...the little jerk would not so much as even help me to get it started.
When he was out I would feel ok, but as soon as he came back home my stomach would knot, I just never knew what I said was going to get some sour remark.
Really, even though his dad has been gone for 4 years I never got rid of the knot in my stomach, I always tensed up when my husband was coming home to, not knowing what I was going to be in trouble for and this was going on before the drugs started. Always being treated as I was so incompetent.
Like I mentioned in a previous post, the kid had me so rattled one day that I ran through a red light almost causing a major accident.
My thoughts today are I am set free, a knew door has opened for me, I don't have to live with a knot in my stomach anymore.
I still have my youngest here 15, he is a challenge to, but I think maybe that I have got rid of the root of the weed things may be more controllable, well I am hoping anyway.
Thanks everyone for such great support and kindness.
Rose
Last weekend I asked that that the boys borrow a weed eater from work, they work for a rental company and I have a blackberry problem here that needs a heavy duty weed eater to cut them down...my oldest says I don't know who she plans on weed eating but I'm not doing it. The weed eater is heavy and you have to strap yourself into it...the little jerk would not so much as even help me to get it started.
When he was out I would feel ok, but as soon as he came back home my stomach would knot, I just never knew what I said was going to get some sour remark.
Really, even though his dad has been gone for 4 years I never got rid of the knot in my stomach, I always tensed up when my husband was coming home to, not knowing what I was going to be in trouble for and this was going on before the drugs started. Always being treated as I was so incompetent.
Like I mentioned in a previous post, the kid had me so rattled one day that I ran through a red light almost causing a major accident.
My thoughts today are I am set free, a knew door has opened for me, I don't have to live with a knot in my stomach anymore.
I still have my youngest here 15, he is a challenge to, but I think maybe that I have got rid of the root of the weed things may be more controllable, well I am hoping anyway.
Thanks everyone for such great support and kindness.
Rose
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Originally Posted by rose 
My thoughts today are I am set free, a knew door has opened for me, I don't have to live with a knot in my stomach anymore.
Rose
Rose this sentence says it all!
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Dear Rose, You know when you finally stand up to your kids whether they are addicts or not they back down.
I am very happy for you as noone should have to live with a knot in their stomach in their own home. I am glad those days are now over for you. Now when he calls & he probably will stick to your guns............if he is old enough to live with a woman he is old enough to get his own place. That is IMHO.
Love,
Diane
I am very happy for you as noone should have to live with a knot in their stomach in their own home. I am glad those days are now over for you. Now when he calls & he probably will stick to your guns............if he is old enough to live with a woman he is old enough to get his own place. That is IMHO.
Love,
Diane
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