twinsis

Well, here we go again. My twin once again spent the day drunk and passed out instead of enjoying life with her husband and babies. She is now filling water bottles with vodka and hiding them in drawers, etc.

One minute I feel sad, then angry, then embarrased for her b/c she makes such a fool of herself..... my emotions are all over the place.

At this very minute I feel that I could beat the S**t out of her. But I wouldn't, and I do know that it would do no good anyway.

Why can't she see that she is destrying everything in her life? I miss her so much, yet I think I hate her too.

She needs to drink every morning. How does one get to that point? It seems like it happened so fast.

And why can't she call for help if she is going to drink instead of scheming and trying to find ways to get to the liquor store?

Thank you all for listening.

Janitw

hey girl....I am so sorry that you are going through this...but until she decides to stop the carnage will continue...just remember the 3 C's hun:

You didnt cause it
You cant control it
You cant cure it

I dont know how old the two of you are but it sounds like the 20's. She may be one of the ones who have to lose it all before she sees the light. If she is resorting to hiding booze then having to have it first thing in the morning this is not a good sign. But since this disease is a progressive one it sounds like she's moving right along at a pretty good pace. You can't do anything to make her stop just keep an eye on her and let her know you love her and also let it be known to her that you won't enable her in any way. If she is going to self destruct then she has to go solo. Keep your chin up ok. Hugs to you and your family....

Janit

stilltryingkal

You can still love your sister but hate the drunk (disease) part. The best thing you can do is help yourself and in doing so hopefully this will help her.

Get to Al-Anon meeting, read the great scripts here especially on detachment and co-dependencies.

Another repeat:

You didnt cause it
You cant control it
You cant cure it

justjo

Hi Twinsis,

I hear you. I am going through exactly the same thing with my sister and it was destroying me. One minute she had a great hub, two great kids, the million dollar house, designer clothes, seemed really happy and together. Next thing we hear they have sold their house, splitting up and she was never happy. Ok lots of us go through bad times. For 2 years she drinks day and night, has not one cent to her name and the kids (now teenagers) have gone to live with dad. She is all alone and the rest you dont need to know.
This has been so terribly difficult for me too. Seeing her self destruct and loosing it. I too tried to help her, you name it we did it. The thing though was this. Every bit of help we gave her made her drink more.
She felt like she was incapable of functioning and that she was being controlled.
At the end of the day we have now all left her alone because we can not fix this for her. For what ever reasons your sister is doing this, she has to get professional help and quick smart. She has to want it really badly. My sister is still binge drinking for 9 days straight, not eating, showering, and living in a pigsty. The only time she leaves the house is to get more booze on a credit card.
I hate it too.
Just be there for your sister and tell her you love her. Give her lots of hugs and support and encouragement.
Under no circumstances buy booze or give her money. I feel sad for you and her family. (babies wow that must be hard for hubby). He needs alot of help and good advice from AA.
Are you getting any help? Is she? Has she admitted she has a problem. Its a long road but here you will get great advice from wonderful people. They have helped me like you wouldnt believe. I sounded just like you when I first came on here and boy.. it has been tiring.
Hang in there and my love to you.

twinsis

To those of you who responded, thanks. Janit, my fellow twin, thank you for always understanding. This totally sucks.

I am sorry that all of you have gone through this too, but it does help to hear your stories and know that I am not alone. I feel a bit guilty because I don't want to put my arms around my sister at this point. Her babies are 18 mos, and I just can't understand her. Her husband is opposed to any meetings, which really doesn't help matters. He also refuses to see alcoholism as a disease. I feel like everything will get much worse before it gets better....

He did go to her AA meeting with her tonight. I am not sure of his reaction. As of this minute she has been sober for about 24 hours. I guess that is a start.

justjo

It is terribly hard to understand this in the beginning and it is quite frustrating. Its like loosing someone close to you but in a slow death if you know what I mean. You watch you see, you cant do anything and you want to save them. Unfortunately I have learnt the hard way, very tough on my mum to watch her daughter doing this. They were so close 39 years and now she has turned on mum, doesnt want to see her and blames her for her problems. We just dont understand.
Look at it this way, she is going through a tough time and you wont know how long it will take her, if she does, to wake up and work through it. My sister has done this for 20 years and the last two have been the absolute worse.
Her husband needs to get some help on dealing with this and be supportive at meetings at least. Wish you well.