I need some help,please...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: connecticut
Posts: 8
I need some help,please...
I feel so obtrusive @ this point...( so sorry ) I had 20 days & was feeling SO good... I've been reading everyone else's posts 4 the last 3 weeks & they've been helping me so much, esp. Stone & Nogard... I go to AA meetings @ least 4 times a week... I'm not stupid ( altho drunk now which I guess qualifies me for being stupid!!!)... I know what THE right thing to do is & every morning I pray to have this obsession lifted from me... & it has worked until today...........I just got back from visiting my daughter over the Memorial Day weekend. Her Dad, my husband, died last August 11 from cancer & I can't help from feeling guilty about that... I didn't even begin drinking till 10 years ago so when we split up) I go to AA meetings I sometimes find it hard to relate to "lifers"...I began to drink when my husband & I split up... we'd been together for 30 years and, I guess, started going thru that "empty nest" syndrome... Unfortunately for us, it had the WORST possible results... he immersed himself in "our business" & I found booze & a friendly, young neighbor who professed "love", yeah, yeah, sure, sure,... What an @sshole I ws 2 give up my marriage 4 some young guy who has never followed through.... & in the meantime, my husband, whom I still really loved a7 my children adored has died of
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
(((leeds))) I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, I know it feels like it'll never end.
Do you have a sponsor in AA, are you going through the Steps, do you have phone numbers for people in the program to call?
This too shall pass, it will get better, but only if you stay sober. Sometimes when every tool I've learned in recovery fails me the only thing I have to fall back on abstinance. I simply know that I can never drink safely again. Honestly, after two years of sobriety I can't see any reason to go back to that he!l again.
Please stick with those meetings, and if you can make it to one every day. I still need them daily, they're a gift and a blessing in my life.
Do you have a sponsor in AA, are you going through the Steps, do you have phone numbers for people in the program to call?
This too shall pass, it will get better, but only if you stay sober. Sometimes when every tool I've learned in recovery fails me the only thing I have to fall back on abstinance. I simply know that I can never drink safely again. Honestly, after two years of sobriety I can't see any reason to go back to that he!l again.
Please stick with those meetings, and if you can make it to one every day. I still need them daily, they're a gift and a blessing in my life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: portland oregon
Posts: 10
don't know ifIi can help you, but you just helped me
By scaring the #@** out of me. Thank you. You seem like a caring and sensitive person. I am so sorry for your losses- I've been married a long time and can really see where the midlife thing hits hard. You have got to have earned some karma points for warning this no-days-sober newby even without meaning to.
If I get through tonight, I'll not yet even have one day, since I drank a beer early this morning. I think you are brave and good, maybe starting out fresh tomorrow will work for you. I hope it works for me. No AA in my plan right now, but it seems like if you have a sponsor or whatever they (we) call it now would be a good time to reach out. Easy for me to say. Pulling for you, though.
If I get through tonight, I'll not yet even have one day, since I drank a beer early this morning. I think you are brave and good, maybe starting out fresh tomorrow will work for you. I hope it works for me. No AA in my plan right now, but it seems like if you have a sponsor or whatever they (we) call it now would be a good time to reach out. Easy for me to say. Pulling for you, though.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
dear leeds
I am so glad you are here today. we can help each other. look! yu helped others already just by telling us honestly what a hard time you are having.
I am really sorry you are feeling so down nright now, but please dont drink over it. You know that drinking only makes everything worse. If you feel depressed now, you'll feel more depressed. If you feel remorse now, even more if you drink.
On the bright side, though, you never have to drink again! isnt that the bright spot in today?
To KNOW that, and to live in this truth. You are not alone. we are with you.
Keep sharing, and consider a meeting tonight.
Sending you love~~
I am so glad you are here today. we can help each other. look! yu helped others already just by telling us honestly what a hard time you are having.
I am really sorry you are feeling so down nright now, but please dont drink over it. You know that drinking only makes everything worse. If you feel depressed now, you'll feel more depressed. If you feel remorse now, even more if you drink.
On the bright side, though, you never have to drink again! isnt that the bright spot in today?
To KNOW that, and to live in this truth. You are not alone. we are with you.
Keep sharing, and consider a meeting tonight.
Sending you love~~
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
((((Leeds))))
It sounds like a bittersweet time you had visiting your daughter. I'm very sorry about your husband. I'm glad that you're reaching out, and I know it feels like you'll never get through this, but you can. Try your very best to stay in today - I understand the regrets, but sometimes, we need to leave them behind us.
Please keep reading and posting - we need you here.
Rowan xoxox
It sounds like a bittersweet time you had visiting your daughter. I'm very sorry about your husband. I'm glad that you're reaching out, and I know it feels like you'll never get through this, but you can. Try your very best to stay in today - I understand the regrets, but sometimes, we need to leave them behind us.
Please keep reading and posting - we need you here.
Rowan xoxox
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,470
Hi Leeds,
I'm glad you found us.
You had 20 sober days and you can do it again. Try to be kind to yourself. I have made many mistakes too and I know it's hard to accept it. The thing is we're all human and we can just do the best we can do. And, I know how lonely the empty-nest thing feels. It seems like we put so much, maybe too much, of ourselves into raising our children and then we're not sure what we're left with when they leave.
I'm glad you found us.
You had 20 sober days and you can do it again. Try to be kind to yourself. I have made many mistakes too and I know it's hard to accept it. The thing is we're all human and we can just do the best we can do. And, I know how lonely the empty-nest thing feels. It seems like we put so much, maybe too much, of ourselves into raising our children and then we're not sure what we're left with when they leave.
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