Change4life

I am feeling extremely horrible today. Shaking, shivers, sick to my stomach. high anxiety. I dont really know what to do I think i would like to check back into rehab or something. I dont know. I really dont want ot go to work, but i am going to try.
Dont know why I am posting this. just felr rhe need top share I guess.

Thanks for listening

Aysha

Bfree...I wish i could take it all away for you.
Do the best you can.
Thats all you can do.
But please stay strong and dont give in.

miss communicat

(((beth)))

can you get back to rehab or to some medical help today? sounds like you need it. I will hold you in my thoughts today.

MC

parentrecovers

reaching out to your doctors today is a good idea. hugs, k

Toomutch

Bfree, thank you for sharing. I am sending hugs and prayers your way and hoping that you will make it in to see the doc.

~~~~~~~~~~

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight

ontrackagain

Bfree,

I am on day 4 here. I am just able to eat a little and get some sleep. I know exactly where you are right know. Do whatever you need to get back on track.

good Luck.

Rowan

You're not alone, Beth. We are with you. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.

Change4life

I havent done any drugs since Jan. 29th, so I have 124 days without drugs, but I started letting alcohol creep back in april 15th. I havent been drinking everyday, but the gaps between drinking are getting shorter.

I drank Wed. and I think that is what is making me sick. I didnt feel that great yesterday, but no big deal.

Today I spent the good part of the morning with my head in the bowl. I went to work, but had to leave, I thought i was going to pass out.

When I came home I laid down for awhile. Ij ust got up and I am trying to eat some thing and I am drinking a ton of water. Its hard getting it down, but I am eating slowly.

Im pretty sure I can hear my liver screaming so I dumped any leftover booze down the drain. I swear if I have even one more sip I am just going to drop dead right here and now.

I called my counselor to see if I could move my appt up and see her asap, but she is off today.

If I dont feel better in a few hours Im pretty sure I am going to the ER.

im hoping the food will help if I can just keep it down.

I am so sorry I ever picked up the booze again. This just sucks.

I am a big hypocrite, Ive been trying to give other people support the whole time lying to myself. just because Im not drinking daily doesnt make it OK.

What a jerk I have been.

As sick as I am feeling I actually thought of drinking later if i feel better.

I realize how stupid that would be. I just hope I have enough sense to play the tape through to the end.

I think maybe to keep myself busy I will write 1000 times
I cant drink
I cant drink
I better go get a big piece of paper.

Aysha

If you feel sick enough that you think you may need medical attention. You should go.
Just because we are not following our own advice doesnt mean we do not have something to say.
I hope you feel better.

Alive

bfree i am confident you will find your peace..i am sure...and you should be proud of being hath clean..put the other hath clean together and you will be one with yourself!

take care!

AJD04

Hi Bfree... Just a newbie having the same desires to drink and kicking myself for having the thoughts of it. Ugh! You CAN pull through this. I tried drinking coffee in replace of booze to boost up my energy and take my mind of the drinking and it did help for awhile. Just hang in there and do what you can to take your mind off the booze. Good luck!!

Change4life

I am very grateful about being drug free for what I consider a pretty long time.

There was a time I couldnt even imagine not taking drugs, but being half clean isnt cutting it for me anymore. i desperately want to stop drinking.

I dont know why I drink anymore, because I really hate it.

Not only do I hate how it destroys any chances of having a halway decent life I dont even like the way it tastes anymore.

I kinda just hold my nose and chug. I think that is why I am so sick. When I liked to drink I did so at a fairly reasonable rate. I mean I would drink for hours, days at a time, but I didnt slam the stuff down. Now I want to just get the drinking part over and I drink ridiculously fast.

Wed when I drank I finished off 750 ml bottle of rum in less than an hour and a half.
I dont know how I dont end up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.

I switched to only drinking beer, but about a month ago I decided it was a much quicker buzz if I switched back to hard liquor.

What an ass.

Well I know what I have to do now i just have to do it. Or maybe I should say I know what not do.

I was able to keep the food down so I am feeling a little physically better.

Now I need to work on my mental state.

GlassPrisoner

Sorry to hear that Bfree, ain't withdraw a b**ch ? You don't have to do that anymore, you know.

Also, thanks for reminding me what it was like. I dind't go into convulsions, but I did hallucinate. It was a rough week, to say the least.

Eidt: When I de-toxed 7 months ago and times prior to that, not this last week.

Change4life

Ive been through withdrawal and this feels different. I was wondering if that is what I am experiencing, but I didnt think so cause I havent been drinking everyday. I drank wed, but its been about 5 days since I drank andprobably about 2 weeks before that.

If I knew it was withdrawal I probably wouldnt be so freaked out and would weather the storm.

I dont know all I know is I cant keep going through this

GlassPrisoner

Well, see a doctor if you have to. I'm pretty sure it's alcohol related in one way or another. You said you drank Wednesday ? That's only 2 days ago, not 5. Did you drink a lot ? Are you dehydrated ? That's always a sure sign.

Anna

Beth,

I am sorry that you're going through this.

I don't know if it's withdrawl or not, but if you are concerned and you feel really badly, then you should call your dr or go to the ER. They will be able to help you.

I think getting alcohol out of your life will make a big difference in your progess and you will feel much better physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Aysha

I know my grandfather drank everyday since he was a kid.
I mean all day everyday.
Got to where I dont think he even got a buzz anymore.
If he would go one day without drinking he was so sick.
Pale and throwing up.
When he died not one thing wrong from drinking.
So weird.
I think drinking kept him alive and well.
Sad to say.
Alcohol i guess has some serious physical withdrawl.
Alot of times needing medical attention.
Just like heroin addicts.
I have never really done either so I dont really know.
Dont risk your health.
If you feel you need to get to a hospital. I hope you go.
Sorry my posts are so long today.
I think I like hearing myself talk today.

miss communicat

beth,

if you are still feeling sick, go to the ER. Or, go to an AA meeting. Do something that takes yu in the direction of healing, away from drinking.

You can do this, and you have the support of all of us plus the people in your town at meetings and in the medical community.

Its so good to see you reaching out and writing. Dont give up!

Dee74

Beth
I'm not a doctor, so I can't say whether this is from alcohol or not...but if you're feeling ill, a doc might just be a good thing... ?

do whatever you have to do 2 take care of yourself
D

Change4life

The phone just woke me up from my nap. I was able to keep the food down and I am feeling a little better. I drank a ton of water today and I think that helped. Glassprisoner i think you were right about the dehydration.

Besides drinking I have been spending way to much time in the sun. I think I have a combination of 2 much alcohol and sun and nowhere near enough water.

Meanwhile I have been praying for my ex to come see me.
Dont you know they just called and are on their way over and here I am all sick again.
I guess we wont be getting back together anytime soon.
I cant hide the fact that I dont feel well and we were together long enough for them to know what is behind the miserable shape I am in today.
Once again I screwed myself by drinking.
Such an easy concept and I cant do it.
Just dont drink.
I am hating myself right now, which makes me want to drink, but I wont I just cant.