caileesnana

I'm not sure if it is the relentless rain or what. I should be happy, daughter is in treatment center doing well according to psychiatrist yesterday, starting to deal w/ old hurts/issues. I'm not. I feel like the day after Christmas, letdown, sad, wondering what next...when the next shoe will fall.

Trying to leave in God's hands, just having a really bad day.
susan

lostparent

Sorry your feeling so sad..maybe you should go see the pirates movie looking at Johnny seems to be cheering everyone else up !! Seriously I've had days like that too, I think it is the rain..

BigSis

Lostparent gives good advice - to find things to distract yourself, might be best (and dang, if Johnny Depp in black eye liner doesn't do it... I am fresh outta ideas! ... grin).

When my child was in rehab, someone mentioned how "safe" she was... and I hadn't even considered that. She was not on the street, doing all those terrible things to get her drugs. She was not being used and abused. She was safe, sane and sober. I slept SO hard.

The future is what it is - "it takes what it takes". There is a path our kids are on, and this rehab stint may be the turning point or not - but it is definitely a LEARNING point... for everyone.

I doubled up on my meetings the closer we got to her coming home - and that helped me very much.

I wrote out my feelings... every detail... then burned the pages - that also helped me.

I called my Alanon folks - who I didn't know very well, yet. - that also helped.

And I prayed - a lot.

You and your daughter are in my prayers as well...right this minute.

((hugs))

cece1960

Good advice above.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
((((hugs))))
Cece

parentrecovers

i understand how you feel - so many what ifs. try to keep it simple, and use today for some recovery time - for you. it's ok to feel sad. sometimes us moms just need a break from "chins up"? thinking about you, sending big hugs - k

hope213

i am sorry you are having a bad day. just letting you know i care. we do not know the out come of you life or our childrens. one day at the time with all of this.prayers for you both.this could be her miracle.

marle

I remember last spring when my daughter had three clean months. At times I could not enjoy them waiting for the shoe to drop. The next time that she has clean time I made myself a promise to stay out of her way and just enjoy it. Sending some hugs and prayers you and your daughter's way. Marle

Spiritual Seeker

I know I am in trouble if my thoughts are on "fear" "doubt" or "worry" Staying in the Now and being grateful for what is, always brings me out of the dark. Tou daughter is in a safe place let them take care of her

patchoulli

It may have been something in the air. I had a terrible downer of a day yesterday. I stayed by myself until 7 when I went to a meeting. Today was better, much better. I hope your today is better too...Marian

GwenMarie30

Hi Susan. I just wanted to jump in and say hello and give you a hug today.

Elana

been there and done that.. we all have bad days. Maybe it is a good time to remember the difference between a sad day and a good day is bout 24 hours.

Sending you a big HUG.

Louise54

My as has been in rehab for 21 days and will be coming home soon. I felt good after visiting him yesterday, then today he was complaining again about the food and boredom. That scares me and gives me that feeling of dread. The old knot in the stomach, etc. So therefore, his day is bad and then so is mine. I know he's coming home soon, and even though I miss him, I don't miss the chaos. Can't go through that again and told him so. I just hope he does it right this time.

Also, it's a beautiful day here too. I think we just want the treatment to work, so we can get back to normal, whatever that means anymore.

lostparent

Hope your feeling better we all have those moods at some point. Like others have said try not to think about the what if s an the why s , think more about the fact that she is safe for the moment an at least on the right path.

rozied

Hi Susan, I'm sorry you r feeling down...........feeling a bit down myself. Maybe its something in the air???
Glad to hear your daughter is doing ok.
Sure hope & pray it continues.
Take Good Care,
Hugs,
Diane

Louise54

I do think it's something in the air. My daughter woke up today feeling tired and sad. Weird.

Lobo

Hi Susan,
You know I think there is something to be said about the after Christmas let down feeling. It seems we keep hoping for the day that they come to us and tell us they are going to rehab. So, that day comes, the day we had been hoping and wishing for is finally here. Now of course we don't want anything to mess it up. So now we are on pins and needles waiting for them to throw us a curve ball. It's almost like now we are setting ourselves up for failure because we know all about broken promises. So of course when we should be happy about the positive things that are taking place, we don't want to let our guard down. The end result, if I am sad and stay stuck in it then I'll be prepared when it rains on my parade. Does that make sense to anyone? We don't allow ourselves to be happy about it because we are afraid to.
On the other hand you are faced with the future plan of how it is going to be when she comes home if she does come home to your house. You get used to them not being there and you don't have the chaos anymore. Once again you are afraid that you might have to live with that again and you don't want to. Now you have to set down the boundries and hope you and her follow through. It might be a hopeful, and peaceful time, but along with that comes a lot of stress and mixed feelings. I really understand where you are coming from...........I've been there.

I'm praying for you and your daughter that this is a new beginning for both of you.
I haven't been here for a while myself..........feeling really down too.

Love and blessings..................Lo

Done_With_It

Sometimes chaos is easier to deal with my mom used to be like that. Once things calmed down it gave her time to think and THAT drove her crazy....

(((((........)))))))

My thoughts are with you.....

I think I had to unlearn that thinking or fight to not think like that, for me it's almost more comfortable to be in a state of crisis or chaosis.
Cause like you said, when things are okay, I almost feel like I'm on the edge of my seet waiting, like.. okay, I'm ready.... come on.. give it to me....
Looking behind my back waiting all the time is almost harder..

Yesterday she called (Ironically from Pirates) w/ really good news, and she was so exicided I thought she was crying, and I was like thinking Oh great who died....
It's still hard for me to think things aren't going to go bad when things are going good.

historyteach

(((Caileesnana)))

Before my recovery, some of my worst times where when Trevor would get to a hospital, jail or other safe place. It was only then that I had time to sit back and relax, and to review what had actually happened during the storm of his addiction. Indeed, that's when I began to realize that I needed to take care of myself, and to detach myself from the maddness of his addiction.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard day. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care of you...

Shalom!

blue pansy

Just for today go ahead have a good cry, sit and look at the rain and let your feelings fly free. Jump into your feelings and really let them come, they are only feelings and will pass.
Tomorrow you may wake and have a great day, wondering where all the bad went.
Open yourself up to your feelings, both the good and the bad.
We can't appreciate the good days without having the cruddy ones.
A big hug and lots of prayers coming to you both.