eclectic

Hi everyone, this is my first time visiting. I finnaly realized today that I have a problem and cant continue living like this. I am so sick of worrying about what I've said to people. I am sick of apologizing to friends for acting innapropriately. I am sick of not remembering what i did the previous night. I am sick of waking up and feeling so depressed and embarassed. I am sick of trying to hide myself from everyone who cares about me. I feel like jeckyl and hyde. I am so controlled in everything i do and say when im normal. I cant handle the feeling that my other side is so out of control. Sober me hates drinking me. But when im drinking, my sober me is just thrown out the window. He no longer has a vote in anything i say or do. I really just want to be sober forever. I don't want to give up my self control ever again. I need to purge all these awful feelings i have.

Dee74

Hi eclectic,
yep...that was me about two months ago...this place has really helped me - lots of good advice help and support - I hope it can help you too

D

citychick

Welcome to Sober recovery eclectic. You're on the right track.

CarolD

Welcome and Hello!

Here is a link full of information
excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit drinking

Blackouts are explained on post #35

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I stay quit with God and AA.

hope you find your answers to a healthier life of joy.

Blessings

Spiritual Seeker

Welcome Eclectic, step one is to admit you are powerless over alcohol/drugs. That's a good place to start. Sounds like you are ready to take some action and get yourself into a recovey program. Today is as good a day as any to get started 'cause we only have today. Look around and you will meet many thankful recovering addicts both here and at meetings. Hopefully, you will want what they've got.

xXBacktoBlackXx

Eclectic, I know all too well what you mean...I was so sick of waking up paranoid of what I did the night before. It's really no way to live. I'm so happy that you've found SR.

Anna

Hi Eclectic,

I'm glad you found us. Alcohol definitely turned me into a different and awful person too. You'll find lots of support here.

lostmdboy

welcome! sounds like you are sick and tired of being sick and tiered. Glad to see keep coming back.

BBQBOY

Good morning, IT is a good morning!!!! I used to hate the morning, when all those nasty feelings would hit. You will find there are alot of people from all walks of life, that USED to have those awful mornig guilts....Keep posting here, it helps to put your feelings on the table...
Find a recovery network, this website works great, but you will need somrthing like AA to back up your sobriety...
There are many of us who thought we would never have another normal, wonderful feeling morning......But I now look foward to one every day..........

YOU CAN DO THIS ..... Be willing to learn ..... Again GOOD MORNING Eclectic



NED

Rowan

Welcome to Sober Recovery, eclectic. I identified strongly with your post and wanted to reassure you that there IS hope. Please keep posting.

Rowan