Needs2findPeace

all all all

I am new here...this is my first time posting as I just found this website...

I am a 31 yr old woman living in Nyc.....and the reason I joined the website is my father is an alcoholic and drug addict. He was recovering for many years, but since the death of my mother he has begun drinking upwards of a half a gallon of either absolut or bacardi each day and following it up with heroin. He currently lives in Florida approx 1600 miles from me....although I had suspected he was using again....I wasn't sure....He verified he is for me this weekend. He called me saturday night on and off for over 4 hours....drunk and high.....as well as this morning for about 2 hours.....

I am at a loss, b/c he is begging me to either hate him and let him disappear...or allow him to move up here and send him into a detox center and support him through his recovery....

although, I want to not ignore his plead for help, I also do not want to put my faith in someone that is using severe amounts of alcohol and drugs....It has been my experience that they will do anything to get their drugs....and exploit all they can....

Beyond losing my mother who was bi-polar and a drug addict and alcoholic herself....6 months ago...I have an 11 yr old son, recently diagnosed with ADD....with many comorbid symptoms as well....My plate seems so full....I know I cannot ignore, his pleas for help, but just don't know where to begin....

Does anyone have any suggestions..?

extremely confused,
Dawn

smoke gets in my eyes

Hello Dawn!

Welcome to the recovery forum. I'm just wondering why he feels he needs to move 1600 miles to go to a detox. They have detoxes in Florida. I can certainly understand a lonely family member wanting to move to be near their relations, but is he talking about moving into your home? Is the support he's talking about financial? Those kinds of things are, of course, your call. But if your plate is already full, maybe he should consider doing his drying out and then moving up your way. It seems to me there are a wide variety of options somewhere inbetween the two he is describing. You don't have to let yourself be bullied with such a huge either-or.

http://www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

That link will take you to a government sponsered facility locator for treatment centers. If he's sincere about treatment and it's in your heart to help him find it... that's a good place to start.

Hugs,
Smoke

constant

Welcome,

I would have to agree with Smoke. One of the 1st things that we learn here is how to take care of ourselves so I believe that you need to consider what is best for you. Especially with your plate being full.

Constant

Needs2findPeace

Thank you both for your thoughts and insight....:-)

journeygal

Hi Dawn,

I agree that it might be better for you if your dad stayed where he was and did his rehab in Florida. You already have enough to deal with at home. But ultimately it's up to him to decide when enough is enough and when he's ready to get help. You might try getting a list of places for him (in Florida ) and leave the rest to him.

Hugs,
JG