Rella927

First of all everyone have a wonderful weekend!

Second...I was doing just fine tonight-packing to go down the shore to stay with the new (non A) boyfriend (that I have known for 20 years)(Great Guy who has dealt with or rather been suportive of my mess with my XA)

Anyway-

I'am packing the car and I my home phone is ringing (ring) (ring) I was not going to pick it up I rather hesistated!

Me: "Hello"
Caller: " Hello Mrs. A"

Me: "Ummm" No (pit in stomach!)(trigger trigger)
Caller: "well I'm looking for A can you pay his credit card he is passed due"

Me: "ummmmm no" he no longer lives here-(hesitating to give them his number)
Caller: "Well this needs to be paid and it is $102.00 that we need tonight"

Me: "Sorry I cannot help you" CLICK

Now .....I know I did the right thing! So is this that trigger of 72 hours blah blah like SaTit has said?? Cause this just plain STINKS!

*baby steps out the door to go down the shore* everyone enjoy their weekend

(((Hugs)))

WhatAboutME

rella, I am struggling with the same problem with my husband also. He has completely stopped paying HIS credit cards and the creditors are calling me, etc. I struggled with the guilt of letting this go becuase he DID have very good credit. I even posted a thread here expressing my feelings of guilt and asking if I should pay his debts. Someone resonded by saying, "If he doesn't care enough about his credit to pay his bill, why should you?"

He knows he has bills. He knows a payment is expected by these creditors every month. But, just doesn't care right now.

MsGolightly

rella, i think you did great! i'm just curious though, why were you hesitant to give them his number?

Rella927

WhatAboutMe- Yes it is a struggle because of just that like your husband-I struggle with I know he knows...I know he got the bill in the mail (mail forwarded) and I know NO CONTACT but, I had to muster up all my strength to NOT CALL HIM and tell him! (These baby steps are tuff somedays!) (((Hugs))) WhatAMe

InthisForMe- I actually really do not have answer for that other than I thought well...there is not suppose to be any contact-I put him in jail 3 times in less than a month (correction he put himself there) and he finds out I gave out his number??! I actually really cannot answer that question-"codie crazies kicked in" and tried to just be good-kind of like WhatAme said...they know so why should I help? I have done all the help by contributing to his mess with my behavior for 3 plus years and I left the unhealthy to get healthy and now he has no one to blame but himself-and that is the way it has to be until and if he hits his bottom!

chero

Aaahhhh Baby Steps! Whatever gets you there, Rella!

I think you did good!! Have fun this weekend!!

ICU

From a fellow 'jersey girl' who loves to go down the shore, forget about it and enjoy your weekend. Who cares what 'his' issue/problems" are. Hey, I'm always looking for a jersey shore invitation...I love the beach!!

Rella927

ICU thank you HONEY! I'm going to go get in that car now! (Traffic should be gone!) and you are right no worries!

P.S. you are welcome anytime for sure! *ring*
ICU: "Hey Rella"
Rella: "Hey ICU when are you coming down?"
ICU: "Soon enjoy your weekend"
Rella: "You too and thank you for being you and tell everyone at SR thank you!"

Ahhh much better call! Ciao Bella
BYE GUYS!

care4uNJ

I'll be down the shore this weekend as well. Have a great weekend, all.

Jo

fluffyflea

Enjoy your weekend and let him deal with his credit card.

Earthworm

Jazzman

Give them his number next time they call. Because there will be a next time, and another, and another.... until they have HIS contact info.

LGLG07

i think you great as well ... it is not your problem ...
i will also be down the shore this weekend ( I live down there!)
I cannot get enough of it , my kids love it too .
everyone have a great happy healthy and safe holiday and
remember our vets who fought for our freedom and ultimately paid
with their lives ! God Bless !
M

Rella927

Thanks everyone!

I thought about that Jazz and that probably is the best idea! I almost caved this weekend!!! The no contact is pretty final now-and he has not bothered me (good thing not complaining!) but, it is just very hard emotionally to deal with! I guess in my opinion it is because I tried so hard (pushing and then not pushing) to get him to realize that there could not be an US unless there was RECOVERY for both of us-I went back to my counselor and started Al-Ananon again and he tried but failed...I do not beat myself up anymore which is a good thing- it is just hard when you see them sprial and there is nothing you can do anymore-and I think it is because I know as a codie myself I sometimes love too much! And with him I did-it is sad-he/Alot of A's just go on and never seek help anything to keep their drinking and sex life going. In my expierence with mine anyway!

So now that I babbled! I will do that give the credit card company his number next time they call-

Thank you!

Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!