5/25 Language of Letting Go

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Old 05-25-2007, 07:48 AM
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5/25 Language of Letting Go

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Loving Ourselves Unconditionally

Love yourself into health and a good life of your own.

Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment.

Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves the way others treated us, if they behaved in a less than healthy, desirable way. If we have learned to see ourselves critically, conditionally, and in a diminishing and punishing way, it's time to stop. Other people treated us that way, but it's even worse to treat ourselves that way now.

Loving ourselves may seem foreign, even foolish at times. People may accuse us of being selfish. We don't have to believe them.

People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, and love the most.

How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it, if necessary. By acting as if. By working as hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves.

Explore what it means to love yourself.

Do things for yourself that reflect compassionate, nurturing, self love.

Embrace and love all of yourself - past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.

If we think and believe negative ideas, get them out in the open quickly and honestly, so we can replace those beliefs with better ones.

Pat yourself on the back when necessary. Discipline yourself when necessary. Ask for help, for time; ask for what you need.

Sometimes, give yourself treats. Do not treat yourself like a pack mule, always pushing and driving harder. Learn to be good to yourself. Choose behaviors with preferable consequences - treating yourself well is one.

Learn to stop your pain, even when that means making difficult decisions. Do not unnecessarily deprive yourself. Sometimes, give yourself what you want, just because you want it.

Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.

We work at it, and then work at it some more. One day we'll wake up, look in the mirror, and find that loving ourselves has become habitual. We're now living with a person who gives and receives love, because that person loves him or herself. Self-love will take hold and become a guiding force in our life.

Today, I will work at loving myself. I will work as hard at loving myself as I have at not liking myself. Help me let go of self-hate and behaviors that reflect not liking myself. Help me replace those with behaviors that reflect self-love. Today, God, help me hold myself in high self-esteem. Help me know I'm lovable and capable of giving and receiving love.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Old 05-25-2007, 08:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Cynay View Post
Help me know I'm lovable and capable of giving and receiving love.
Gulp...something just got caught in my throat while reading this part!

I so needed this today. Thanks!
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Old 05-25-2007, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Cynay View Post
I will work as hard at loving myself as I have at not liking myself.
That sentence sticks in my mind. Just for today I'll try not to be too hard and beat up on myself. Maybe, just maybe, I'll replace that behavior with self-love.

Thanks for posting this, Cynay!
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:11 AM
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People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, and love the most
Your welcome ....

This is the part that stuck with me today.....
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Old 05-25-2007, 12:43 PM
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Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.

This is the one thing I need to do. Stop beating myself over the head all the time.
Thanks
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Old 05-25-2007, 12:49 PM
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[QUOTE=Cynay;1346225]
Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.

Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.

Living with my husband makes it very difficult to do what the 2 lines above say, but I know I have got to do this more often, he belittles me all the time, like today for instance (we run a business together) I gave a guy his cell phone number because he had a question for my husband, well it turns out my H only worked half the day, and decided to take a nap for the rest of the day. Like he is the only one that gets tired. Now he calls me and CHEWS my butt about giving his cell phone number out and having someone wake him. Last time I checked it is a BUSINESS cell phone, and you use it for BUSINESS reasons. He evidently doesn't see it that way. Now he is mad, yelling, hanging up on me and trying to make me feel guilty about this. I usually let it really bother me, and don't look forward to going home because the minute I hit the door he is chewing some more, and wont let it rest all weekend long. I've been there for smaller things I know what I have to look forward to. I could say I am sorry a million times and he wont shut up. Then he will go on about other things and then go on to my kids about all they do to mess up his life, how my daughter is hateful and my son is lazy etc. etc. etc. We tune him out, and go on with our lives. Then he wonders why we don't listen to him. HMMMMMM!!!!
Well enough about that, this is awesome reading that seems to steer me it a straight forward position toward my goals. It is like on some days you know what is going on on that given day. Thanks.
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