just wanted imput

Old 05-24-2007, 10:36 PM
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just wanted imput

my Ah is in rehab
I declined to go see him or go to the family meeting but his sister went............anyhow tonight she tells me that AH asked her to sneak in some instant coffe and to bring him a different brand of cigerettes
She just brought a carton of his brand today..........but I think he told her hes been smoking alot or something yet when I spoke to him day before yesterday he told me he didnt need cigs at the family visit he could wait till Sun for the visit...........

Whats up with this? Do you think hes trading these things for other things? And really how Honest and committed to getting help is he if all hes worried about is trying to get her to break the rules or trying to get different kinds of cigs? Plus if the program resticts the caffeine intake isnt it pointless to try to go around it, dont they have rules for a reason?

I guess I really shouldnt worry about it yet It makes me angry............
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Old 05-25-2007, 12:39 AM
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get it, give it, grow in it
 
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It is his program let him work it. Don't over think it and concern yourself with his issues.Get into Alanon and find a home mtg to attend on a reg. basis (if you haven't already) My son is an addict. I started alanon 4 yrs. ago and it has literally changed my life. At 1st since I have no addiction issues I couln't relate to the steps. But once I started applying the principles all my relationships are better, my communication is better and I am on spiritual journey now. This is a family disease and it is easy to shine the light on the addict. But we all have our own issues and character defects and we can only control how we are gonna change in those areas.
The best way to help him is to help yourself. Good luck in your journey.
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Old 05-25-2007, 03:25 AM
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it doesn't sound like he's ready to work his program. but spritual is right, it's his program. you can't work it for him. worrying about how he does it or doesn't do it will not help him or you. it's a tough road, but you know that already, you live with an addict. take care of you. prayers are with you and your family.
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Old 05-25-2007, 03:45 AM
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We used to bring AH tons of change for vending machines because he was always hungry. Is it possible your husbands afraid to ask for that so selling cigs for snack money?

For now just be glad he's choosing to stay, let him work his program and do what you need to focus on you
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Old 05-25-2007, 04:33 AM
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I guess I really shouldnt worry about it yet It makes me angry............
I think you did great coming here to let it out. As you indicated, I believe it isn't yours to have to worry about...wow, isn't that a relief? I found once I started to understand figuring out my stuff from other people's stuff, my need to have to worry about or try to change what wasn't mine started to disappear. And with that, I found more serenity. The image, told to me by others in the program, of dropping a holla hoop over myself onto the ground and what was inside is mind and outside is others, really helped me in working this aspect.

My experience with working a program is similar to Spiritual Seeker's...I am in awe of how it has changed my life in every aspect and helped me become not more religious, rather more spiritual. I firmly believe spirituality helps to find peace and even joy in life. Hugs.
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