coffeebean

Hello to everyone. I need some advice.
i was in a relationship with an alcoholic for 1.5 years, and i broke it off 2 months ago.
He is doing well, has been sober for about a month...

for almost our entire relationship, it was a struggle-- me trying to get him to get help most of the time, until i just had to break away as it was too emotionally draining and consuming.

i loved him and was in love with him. but i think i have now reached that point where, I am just not there anymore--

I am in contact with him again (we talk, and hang out once in a while), after about a month of no contact... he assured me that he has no expectations (in terms of getting back together). Although he said this, I know that he is hoping that we would.

My point is this: I feel like I need time to heal and a lot of space between us. But he said he needs me right now. He has told me that he has no one else right now but me (since he is staying away from his friends because all they do is drink)--

i don't know how to handle the situation. i do not want to get back together with him (because i don't want to go through what i did) and at the same time, i do not want to push him away and cause him to start drinking again... please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

thank you sincerely.

CarolD

Over is over to me.
I never continue contact once i am moving on.

You can not get him sober or drunk.

JMO

SaTiT

Welcome to SR
maybe you can look in the fmaily and friends section..

You can't cause or make him drink..unless you piont a gun to his head
or strap him to a chair and pour a drink into in mouth..

Screw guilt...
Detaching is pobably the best thing you can do for yourself.
You're able to make more healthy chioces if you're not emotionally attached
Your on the right track. You need time for youself to heal and find yourself
again. A bondary is pratically a must even in a healthy relationship.
You can't loose yourself oneway or the other, sober or not.

You don't have to do it alone..there plenty of people that can help
you or past on tools to you. Give you forsite or recognitions of certain
cycle that can happen in a codi/alki relationship.
If you choose to further the relationship with an alcoholic sober or not.
you must also work you program.

venusinlibra

I would suggest going to a meeting with him once a week. Either Alanon or AA. He will find support and friends there. It will help you and it will help him.

Anna

You can't cause him to drink.

If you don't want to get back together with him, then that's the path you should follow.

Aysha

tommyk

You cannot cause him to start drinking again.

Anymore than you could cause him to not drink before.