Need HELP From everyone (Opinion) ASAP
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Need HELP From everyone (Opinion) ASAP
Ok ....I got a message from the Detective I have been dealing with-and tomorrow is the first court date for the 2nd charge (out of 3) of harrasment for my XAB. She told me that I did not have to go and she will call me on Wednesday or Thursday and fill me in on what happen. My girlfriends husband works in the same county (and town) that court is in and I believe that he will go if I need him to go with me. (he is a Sgt.)
My question is first why do they say you do not need to go? (For your sanity?)
and second Would you go if you were in this position?
Last court charge (first one) he got off with 60 days community service and no violation of probabtion. And then proceeded to continue to harras me that I should have went to the other county and turned him because he did not get jail time so there! Like a little child!
It annoys me that they say "You do not have to go"
My question is first why do they say you do not need to go? (For your sanity?)
and second Would you go if you were in this position?
Last court charge (first one) he got off with 60 days community service and no violation of probabtion. And then proceeded to continue to harras me that I should have went to the other county and turned him because he did not get jail time so there! Like a little child!
It annoys me that they say "You do not have to go"
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
They probably tell you that you dont have to go ... cuz .... well because you dont have to go. They can find him guilty without your presents.
Why would you want to go..... what is the movtive? Do you think it will change the Judges verdict if your there??? If you want him to leave you alone it might help that he does not see you at all.... just a thought.
Did you get a restraining order... I dont remember
Why would you want to go..... what is the movtive? Do you think it will change the Judges verdict if your there??? If you want him to leave you alone it might help that he does not see you at all.... just a thought.
Did you get a restraining order... I dont remember
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
I guess not annoyed poor choice of words-I guess I feel disappointed that they do not want the person who had the arrest done to be there? I have no clue why! "crazie codie with the little once a month friend kicking in"
Cynay-No motive except maybe just that you hit on the head that the judge may look at it different? Knowing that the detective has done her job and the officers very well there should be no problem.
And yes final restraining order-which he violated 3 times!
Cynay-No motive except maybe just that you hit on the head that the judge may look at it different? Knowing that the detective has done her job and the officers very well there should be no problem.
And yes final restraining order-which he violated 3 times!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
"crazie codie with the little once a month friend kicking in"
Come on sista,,all you really NEED is the end result now don't ya?
and second Would you go if you were in this position?
I'm already having a hard time with no contact. The LAST thing I need is to actually SEE himJust my not so humble opinion,,,
Peace
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
You do not need to go...
We have what is needed and don't need you there at this time.
No need to take time off from work.
Your being there won't change a thing.
Just court stuff, no need for you to waste your valuable time sitting in a court room.
Telling you that you don't need to go is not saying they don't want you there or that you can't or shouldn't go... they are just letting you know that if you don't want to be there, you don't have to be there.
What will going do for you? What will not going do for you?
Ask yourself those two questions and you will find the answer about if you should go or not go.
We have what is needed and don't need you there at this time.
No need to take time off from work.
Your being there won't change a thing.
Just court stuff, no need for you to waste your valuable time sitting in a court room.
Telling you that you don't need to go is not saying they don't want you there or that you can't or shouldn't go... they are just letting you know that if you don't want to be there, you don't have to be there.
What will going do for you? What will not going do for you?
Ask yourself those two questions and you will find the answer about if you should go or not go.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Ok I know that is the right choice! I knew that was the right choice!
Love you guys for reinforcing something I should not even have started a thread on!
(((Hugs)))
Love you guys for reinforcing something I should not even have started a thread on!
(((Hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Rella,
They told me the same thing each time a court date was pending. And, yeah, it kind of annoyed me too. I thought they weren't taking it seriously enough for some reason. Or, my lack of presence would be perceived as I didn't feel strongly enough about it to attend and therefore he would 'get away with it'.
The person I spoke with from the prosecutors office said not to worry, yeah, right! I was told that this was just for him to enter his plea. I was not needed for that. If he pled guilty then I was not needed. If he pled 'not guilty' it would then go to trial and my presence would be required at that time.
It all turned out just like she had said. They already had my statement, the police report, and other supporting documentation.
In the end, I'm glad I didn't have to go. I'm glad I didn't have to see him again. It damn near killed me when I 'had to go' for the final restraining order.
They told me the same thing each time a court date was pending. And, yeah, it kind of annoyed me too. I thought they weren't taking it seriously enough for some reason. Or, my lack of presence would be perceived as I didn't feel strongly enough about it to attend and therefore he would 'get away with it'.
The person I spoke with from the prosecutors office said not to worry, yeah, right! I was told that this was just for him to enter his plea. I was not needed for that. If he pled guilty then I was not needed. If he pled 'not guilty' it would then go to trial and my presence would be required at that time.
It all turned out just like she had said. They already had my statement, the police report, and other supporting documentation.
In the end, I'm glad I didn't have to go. I'm glad I didn't have to see him again. It damn near killed me when I 'had to go' for the final restraining order.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Ok I just got a phone call from the Detective about 2 minutes ago and she said that court was cancelled tomorrow due to the XAB being in the hospital she did not say why nor did I ask-so here is me letting go and letting God!
Thank you guys!
And Denny your words among many others in here have been a true inspiration to me! The Strength, hope and expierence is gained from everyone in here is so true and that is everyone included A's, codies, ACoA!
Thank you guys!
And Denny your words among many others in here have been a true inspiration to me! The Strength, hope and expierence is gained from everyone in here is so true and that is everyone included A's, codies, ACoA!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I would not go. You don't need to go. The charges stand on their own. The statements have been taken and going with a Sgt. may reflect on him and you in a negative way.
You are not required to go and most people wouldn't go unless they had to, I would think. The crimne has been reported and if the consequence will be reported to you, good enough.
Other than curiosity, I'm wondering why you would go?
You are not required to go and most people wouldn't go unless they had to, I would think. The crimne has been reported and if the consequence will be reported to you, good enough.
Other than curiosity, I'm wondering why you would go?
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Originally Posted by ICU 
Rella,
They told me the same thing each time a court date was pending. And, yeah, it kind of annoyed me too. I thought they weren't taking it seriously enough for some reason. Or, my lack of presence would be perceived as I didn't feel strongly enough about it to attend and therefore he would 'get away with it'.
The person I spoke with from the prosecutors office said not to worry, yeah, right! I was told that this was just for him to enter his plea. I was not needed for that. If he pled guilty then I was not needed. If he pled 'not guilty' it would then go to trial and my presence would be required at that time.
It all turned out just like she had said. They already had my statement, the police report, and other supporting documentation.
In the end, I'm glad I didn't have to go. I'm glad I didn't have to see him again. It damn near killed me when I 'had to go' for the final restraining order.
They told me the same thing each time a court date was pending. And, yeah, it kind of annoyed me too. I thought they weren't taking it seriously enough for some reason. Or, my lack of presence would be perceived as I didn't feel strongly enough about it to attend and therefore he would 'get away with it'.
The person I spoke with from the prosecutors office said not to worry, yeah, right! I was told that this was just for him to enter his plea. I was not needed for that. If he pled guilty then I was not needed. If he pled 'not guilty' it would then go to trial and my presence would be required at that time.
It all turned out just like she had said. They already had my statement, the police report, and other supporting documentation.
In the end, I'm glad I didn't have to go. I'm glad I didn't have to see him again. It damn near killed me when I 'had to go' for the final restraining order.
I get it now-As I said this morning I'am having a brain fart day! And I was told the same thing ICU about the entering his plea-
And yes getting the final restraining order was killer!
Thank you for this
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Ok I just got a phone call from the Detective about 2 minutes ago and she said that court was cancelled tomorrow due to the XAB being in the hospital she did not say why nor did I ask-so here is me letting go and letting God!
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
CE
Thank you-
I do not hate this person but in order for me to keep moving forward all I can do is let the fact that he is in the hospital go! He made his choices and I have made mine, part of me hurts not knowing why he is in there but if I did not I would not be a "codie" on the mend!
Thank you-
I do not hate this person but in order for me to keep moving forward all I can do is let the fact that he is in the hospital go! He made his choices and I have made mine, part of me hurts not knowing why he is in there but if I did not I would not be a "codie" on the mend!
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