******{Beth}}}}}
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
********{Tammie}}}}}
Thank you so much for the very much needed hug, and the flowers are beautiful.
I love you!!
Today isnt going that well and you really did cheer me up.
Its not the fight for sobriety that is bothering me today. The guy I am living with is just an ogar. Shreiks eveil twin.
He can be so mean sometimes and i take it cause for now I have no place else to go. he really brings me down.
I try to stay out of his way, but he doesnt make it easy.
On top of being mean he jut does such stupid things to put my sobriety at risk.
Last night around 11:30 I was already asleep and there was a knock at the door.
He opens it and lets in the town crack head. I woke up she plops herself on the couch and starts yammering it up then he goes to his room to go to sleep.
After about 10 minutes I went in and told him he let her in so get the f up and keep her company. I couldnt believe him. I dont know why he let her in in the first place.
anyway, she talked herself out and finally left. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just got mad. He has been pissy ever since.
Then this morning my cat scratched his eye so he is really bitching at me.
He is OK but he is such a big baby.
I didnt mean to get so long winded. I just wanted to say thank you so much.
Have a great day.
great big hugs and all my love,
Beth
Thank you so much for the very much needed hug, and the flowers are beautiful.
I love you!!
Today isnt going that well and you really did cheer me up.
Its not the fight for sobriety that is bothering me today. The guy I am living with is just an ogar. Shreiks eveil twin.
He can be so mean sometimes and i take it cause for now I have no place else to go. he really brings me down.
I try to stay out of his way, but he doesnt make it easy.
On top of being mean he jut does such stupid things to put my sobriety at risk.
Last night around 11:30 I was already asleep and there was a knock at the door.
He opens it and lets in the town crack head. I woke up she plops herself on the couch and starts yammering it up then he goes to his room to go to sleep.
After about 10 minutes I went in and told him he let her in so get the f up and keep her company. I couldnt believe him. I dont know why he let her in in the first place.
anyway, she talked herself out and finally left. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just got mad. He has been pissy ever since.
Then this morning my cat scratched his eye so he is really bitching at me.
He is OK but he is such a big baby.
I didnt mean to get so long winded. I just wanted to say thank you so much.
Have a great day.
great big hugs and all my love,
Beth
Determined
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the verge of insanity
Posts: 330
Thinking of you Beth, thanks for the info about books will look into that.
you are doing so well staying away(as much as poss) from those who bring you down
Sending hugs to you from here too!
you are doing so well staying away(as much as poss) from those who bring you down
Sending hugs to you from here too!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
I thought i was feeling better till I found myself under severe verbal abuse from my roomie. I am hughly upset. Couldnt take it and stayed out all night. It was the first time I wa afraid of him and scaird to go back to the house. Heh hasnt had a drink in months, but yeaterday he came home blitz. He is mean in his usual state, but when he is drunk he is a really mean *******
I dont know how much more I can take of this. I need to be able to work again so I can get a peaceful place to work on recovering. Living with him while I am sober is unbearable.
I dont know how much more I can take of this. I need to be able to work again so I can get a peaceful place to work on recovering. Living with him while I am sober is unbearable.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
more depressed than usual
waking up this morning was complete hell this morning. I dont know what bug got up my butt, but I wish I had somewhere fun to go. Before I really f'd up I used to go do stuff all the time, hiking boating, fishing, camping, etc. Every weekend I was goin somewhere. Now without a car I cant do those things any more, and I havent met any sober people that like to do the same things yet.
I actually feel like doing heroin or something. I know I wont be it just sucks to feel this way. I was thinking about all this crazy ****, guns, overdosing just dumb ****.
I think I feel better now that I let out how I was feeling.
I almost wish it would rain then I wouldnt feel guilty about sleeping all day.
But that would be a selfish thing to wish for cause I want all of you to enjoy your day.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
I actually feel like doing heroin or something. I know I wont be it just sucks to feel this way. I was thinking about all this crazy ****, guns, overdosing just dumb ****.
I think I feel better now that I let out how I was feeling.
I almost wish it would rain then I wouldnt feel guilty about sleeping all day.
But that would be a selfish thing to wish for cause I want all of you to enjoy your day.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Beth..you know what I did after work everyday ?
I ride my bike to the park..with my stunt kite.
I pray for wind everyday...lol
first I got me a one from the wal-mart for $5
you gotta look for the onces with two handles..oki doki.
Then I got me a kick ass one..the pro, pro..
I have extra sets of lines....heavy duty.lol
So..I can fly the damn thing in 20-30 wind..
I have to lean way the hell back so i don't get yank off the
ground
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSjFed_1Q0g
then what you you know...a couple of months later..
there's damn people flying kites everywhere taking up
my air space..lol
Everytime i go fly it..there people asking...where you get it ?
that's so cool..can I try it ?..lol
I ride my bike to the park..with my stunt kite.
I pray for wind everyday...lol
first I got me a one from the wal-mart for $5
you gotta look for the onces with two handles..oki doki.
Then I got me a kick ass one..the pro, pro..
I have extra sets of lines....heavy duty.lol
So..I can fly the damn thing in 20-30 wind..
I have to lean way the hell back so i don't get yank off the
ground
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSjFed_1Q0g
then what you you know...a couple of months later..
there's damn people flying kites everywhere taking up
my air space..lol
Everytime i go fly it..there people asking...where you get it ?
that's so cool..can I try it ?..lol
Last edited by SaTiT; 05-26-2007 at 12:36 PM.
~Author of My Life~
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
Vent away dear **********{Beth}}}}}}}........
You can do all those things again. I know it seems like forever though....and feels like an impossible task. Jutst sray in each moment, keep doing the next "right", healthy, positive, inspiring, hard, easy frustrating thing.in time the 'good times' ill come. Your spirit was broken for quite awhile, and your health suffers too when our spirits unwell. Keep nurturing yourself, you are growing, and growing pains hurt!
It will get better......stay committed to the recovery way of life and moment by moment, day by day it gets better.
********{Huge hugs}}}}}}
I thnk this would be a gorgeous place t take a long peaceful walk.
You can do all those things again. I know it seems like forever though....and feels like an impossible task. Jutst sray in each moment, keep doing the next "right", healthy, positive, inspiring, hard, easy frustrating thing.in time the 'good times' ill come. Your spirit was broken for quite awhile, and your health suffers too when our spirits unwell. Keep nurturing yourself, you are growing, and growing pains hurt!
It will get better......stay committed to the recovery way of life and moment by moment, day by day it gets better.
********{Huge hugs}}}}}}
I thnk this would be a gorgeous place t take a long peaceful walk.
~Author of My Life~
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
Oops, forgot to post th picture, Beth!! hang on, LOL..I have lost my mind today. I am in so much pain today, just got back from the ER, they think I have a herniated disc..my back has never hurt this bad.......yuck!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
SatIT You know I think you migh tbe onto something with the kite idea. Till I read your thred i forgot how much I used to love kites when I was a kid.
I tjink i will try and get one.
Gotta start out small, cant really afford any deluxe models, but there is a lot of free air space.
Now when some one gets pissed at me and tells me to go fly a kite. I can.
I think I would like one with the double strings that can do tricks. I just hope I dont knock anyone out.
Have a good day.
I tjink i will try and get one.
Gotta start out small, cant really afford any deluxe models, but there is a lot of free air space.
Now when some one gets pissed at me and tells me to go fly a kite. I can.
I think I would like one with the double strings that can do tricks. I just hope I dont knock anyone out.
Have a good day.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Tammie you couldnt have sent a better picture, that is where I wish I was right now.
I would feel so peaceful if I could find a nice quite lake somewhere, bring a little lunch and a good book.
Lay in the sun take a walk through the woods and maybe a swim.
I am going absolutely stir crazyin this town. I am so tired of being here and bored out of my friggin mind.
I should be living in the mountains or on a farm or something.
This enviorment isnt cutting it for me. Way to close to the city.
I am in severe need of a slower paced life.
my ex and i have been getting close again and they are thinking of moving.
Maybe just maybe if I can keep myself clean we could try and move somewhere a little slower paced.
I know I shouldnt be thinking about that, sobriety first, but that would make me so happy.
Thinking about the way things are and dreaming about the way they could be just made me start crying. I am just one big emotional train wreck.
I guess I better go get some tissues.
I guess Ill go hop on the bicycle and pedal the tears and frustration away.
I love you all!
HEY KEVIN! How are you doing? I could be better, but I could also be worse so with that said I am counting my blessings.
Thanks for asking about me.
I would feel so peaceful if I could find a nice quite lake somewhere, bring a little lunch and a good book.
Lay in the sun take a walk through the woods and maybe a swim.
I am going absolutely stir crazyin this town. I am so tired of being here and bored out of my friggin mind.
I should be living in the mountains or on a farm or something.
This enviorment isnt cutting it for me. Way to close to the city.
I am in severe need of a slower paced life.
my ex and i have been getting close again and they are thinking of moving.
Maybe just maybe if I can keep myself clean we could try and move somewhere a little slower paced.
I know I shouldnt be thinking about that, sobriety first, but that would make me so happy.
Thinking about the way things are and dreaming about the way they could be just made me start crying. I am just one big emotional train wreck.
I guess I better go get some tissues.
I guess Ill go hop on the bicycle and pedal the tears and frustration away.
I love you all!
HEY KEVIN! How are you doing? I could be better, but I could also be worse so with that said I am counting my blessings.
Thanks for asking about me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
