Language of Letting Go - May 20

Old 05-20-2007, 04:17 AM
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Ann
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Language of Letting Go - May 20

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Sadness

Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings.

So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes - have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa.

"If you put them in prison," one character said, describing this tribe, "they die."

"Why?" asked another character.

"Because they can't grasp the idea that they'll be let out one day. They think it's permanent, so they die."

Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition.

The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go.

It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.

God, help me fully embrace and finish my endings, so I may be ready for my new beginnings.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Old 05-20-2007, 04:27 AM
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Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa.

"If you put them in prison," one character said, describing this tribe, "they die."

"Why?" asked another character.

"Because they can't grasp the idea that they'll be let out one day. They think it's permanent, so they die."

Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition.
This couple of paragraphs has always caught my eye when reading this book. Part of recovery means walking through our pain. For me, this was not at the beginning, it took me a while to understand recovery and build enough recovery skills to be able to even face the pain and walk through it. I needed all the tools I could find.

The most painful part of my recovery is when I had to accept that my son was truly an addict, that I could not save him, and that if he didn't find recovery for himself he would surely die. This kind of pain no mother should ever have to face. It was the darkest period of my life.

But recovery had brought me support and my wonderful friends here stood by me and encouraged me by telling me that the pain would end one day, once I had walked through it. And I learned that the only way through it was to face it straight on and keep going. I prayed more than I have every prayed in my life, I held on to the hands that supported me, I cried and I kept working my program in faith that it would take me through this. It did, and I came out the other side blessed with peace, serenity, acceptance and faith that God could do for my son what I could not.

There is a time when we think the pain will never end, like that tribe in Africa. There is a time when we think we are not strong enough to keep walking, but we are with the support of our recovery family, and there is a time when we surrender our struggle and learn to live in faith that the world is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

A gift of recovery is that we do make it through the pain, and we rise like a Phoenix from the ashes of victimization to the light of survival. We survive and we learn to live well, just as life intended.

Hugs
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Old 05-20-2007, 04:58 AM
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I love you Ann...Marian
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Old 05-20-2007, 05:00 AM
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Ann
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Love you too, Patch.
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Old 05-20-2007, 05:44 AM
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Ann -

thank you so much for doing this everyday. It always strikes the right place in me. As I was sitting down to the computer I noticed a feeling of sadness and low level depression. I think that I am from that tribe in Africa....I get stuck and think that it is always going to be this way. I feel that I am just now learning how to deal with my feelings....and beginning to realize that no matter how permanent I believe that one might be that it really is transient.

Lots of love! Donna
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Old 05-20-2007, 07:18 AM
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This reading is one of my favorite daily actions.
Thank you - it is always spot on, addressing some aspect of ME I need to pay attention to; address or heal. This saying always gets my attention as well: "If I stay in the light of what I can do to make my life better, rather than in the darkness of anger, blame and fear of the problem, my path remains lit and my world is a better place." And Ann's comment "The most painful part of my recovery is when I had to accept that my son was truly an addict, that I could not save him, and that if he didn't find recovery for himself he would surely die. This kind of pain no mother should ever have to face. It was the darkest period of my life.". Thanks everyone - for your courage to arrive here every day - I think you are all really and truley angels./M
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