questions that you would love to ask an addict....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
questions that you would love to ask an addict....
there have been a number of threads recently that wonder about the way that substance abusers think, why they do what they do, and why they don't do what they should do. I think that it would be interesting to make a list of all of the questions that we would like to know the answers to. What do you wish that you could ask someone that uses..... and get a straight and honest answer to your questions?
I'll get it started....
1. were you ever able to control it?
2. what made you pick up in the first place?
3. why is using more important to you than your kids?
4. do you believe your own lies?
5. why won't you stop?
6. do you ever want to quit?
I bet that we could all come up with an awesome list....we don't understand what makes anons so different from addicts.....I'm going to try and find out what I can find out. My RAH has almost 2 years now from a 20 year crack addiction....maybe he'll shoot some honest answers back out. No one ever thought that he would make it so I thought it might be interesting to ask him some of our questions. Let me know - thanks!
Lots of love, Donna
I'll get it started....
1. were you ever able to control it?
2. what made you pick up in the first place?
3. why is using more important to you than your kids?
4. do you believe your own lies?
5. why won't you stop?
6. do you ever want to quit?
I bet that we could all come up with an awesome list....we don't understand what makes anons so different from addicts.....I'm going to try and find out what I can find out. My RAH has almost 2 years now from a 20 year crack addiction....maybe he'll shoot some honest answers back out. No one ever thought that he would make it so I thought it might be interesting to ask him some of our questions. Let me know - thanks!
Lots of love, Donna
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
1. in the begin i did, at the end I didn't and did..i did becuase i wanted to kill myself.
2.It's a part of life..look around you..it's every where
nothing made me pick up in the first place...that's what i thought people do.
3. Cant answer that one..but I think it's along the line of me not accepting
i was one or I drank to feel normal or function at a certain junction.
4. it's wasn't a lie...i just love getting high. Always thought i get barried
with my bong.
5 I won't stop becuase I like it..why did you think I kept doing for some long
and through everything, plus I can numb out or space out...becuase life
can be a bitch somtimes and alot of the times at the end.
6 Plenty of times, ,but it was like I was going againts the grain
of whatever everybody around me was doing and all the damn peer
pressure that came with it...Please..I'm not a kid..but If you don't get
alone with your co-workers...it's a pain in the ass...
Plus it was a lossing battle..I can quit on my own from time to time
for months at a time to get my life back on track. So every time
I start again..it's wasn't bad at the begining...it's never bad at the
begining. Plus i got the damn will power going in my head everytime.
i can always control it , it won't happen again this time...
And each time that I fall to stop and it gets worst and worst..
I start to not really give a shiet anymore. so i just give up on the
whole idea of ever stopping...
7 why did I stop ???
It stopped working....not because of what people told me how much
of a SOB I was..Or do it this way or that way..
Seriouley....it just stopped working. the buzz or ulitmate rush i was
serching for never came and it didn't take the pain away..i felt pain
the last time I got high.
2.It's a part of life..look around you..it's every where
nothing made me pick up in the first place...that's what i thought people do.
3. Cant answer that one..but I think it's along the line of me not accepting
i was one or I drank to feel normal or function at a certain junction.
4. it's wasn't a lie...i just love getting high. Always thought i get barried
with my bong.
5 I won't stop becuase I like it..why did you think I kept doing for some long
and through everything, plus I can numb out or space out...becuase life
can be a bitch somtimes and alot of the times at the end.
6 Plenty of times, ,but it was like I was going againts the grain
of whatever everybody around me was doing and all the damn peer
pressure that came with it...Please..I'm not a kid..but If you don't get
alone with your co-workers...it's a pain in the ass...
Plus it was a lossing battle..I can quit on my own from time to time
for months at a time to get my life back on track. So every time
I start again..it's wasn't bad at the begining...it's never bad at the
begining. Plus i got the damn will power going in my head everytime.
i can always control it , it won't happen again this time...
And each time that I fall to stop and it gets worst and worst..
I start to not really give a shiet anymore. so i just give up on the
whole idea of ever stopping...
7 why did I stop ???
It stopped working....not because of what people told me how much
of a SOB I was..Or do it this way or that way..
Seriouley....it just stopped working. the buzz or ulitmate rush i was
serching for never came and it didn't take the pain away..i felt pain
the last time I got high.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
well i'd like to know what is it that they do out there thats so appealing
where exactly do they go and with who are they with
what is it that would help you to want to stay home
do they really believe the stuff they say, the excuses they come up with.
what do you expect me to do while you're out doing whatever it is you do
how am i suppose to live my life alone while you are out doing whatever it is you do.
why won't you go ahead and file for divorce so that i won't have to.
what have i done to you for you to think i may deserve to be treated the way that you seem to think?
these are just a few that i know don't have a real answer to, but its the addicts way of thinking that so confusing.
where exactly do they go and with who are they with
what is it that would help you to want to stay home
do they really believe the stuff they say, the excuses they come up with.
what do you expect me to do while you're out doing whatever it is you do
how am i suppose to live my life alone while you are out doing whatever it is you do.
why won't you go ahead and file for divorce so that i won't have to.
what have i done to you for you to think i may deserve to be treated the way that you seem to think?
these are just a few that i know don't have a real answer to, but its the addicts way of thinking that so confusing.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
I would have so many questions they would stretch to the moon. I will start with a couple, lol.
1. When you know what the outcome is going to be (long prison term) why would you continue to do it?
2. Is the high so good today that its worth 5 years sober, behind bars?
1. When you know what the outcome is going to be (long prison term) why would you continue to do it?
2. Is the high so good today that its worth 5 years sober, behind bars?
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Why did you start taking drugs?
Why do you get so angry when you get caught lying and why do you insist on continuing to lie?
Why, when you have no job, no money, no credit, and a world of people mad at you do you keep doing drugs?
What are you so afraid of that you cannot face life without drugs?
Why do you get so angry when you get caught lying and why do you insist on continuing to lie?
Why, when you have no job, no money, no credit, and a world of people mad at you do you keep doing drugs?
What are you so afraid of that you cannot face life without drugs?
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: south florida
Posts: 80
i would like to know what,were ,and when
where is my bike?
where are my CD's
where is that 20 dollars ?
where is my giutar?
where are my guns?
it has been 2 hours or 3 days where are you?
were is my drill?
were is my boat?
were is my aquarium?
were is my mom?
were is my stamp colection?
were is my coin colection?
were is my pot?
were is my beer?
were is my roll model?
where is my suport?
where is the food?
what happened to the electricity?
what happened to the running water?
who is this in my house?
what are you doing raking the yeard at 4 in the morning?
why are you using teh garden hose to clean the kitchen floor?
why are you crying?
why are you yelling at me?
why are we moving again?
why are you embarising me infront of your friends?
why do you say these embarising things infront of my friends?
why did you hit me?
why is everything i do not good enough to you?
why do you do one thing and say another?
are you a prostitue?
why don't you believe me?
why am i not in school?
why won't you wake up?
why doesnt somebody do something.
where is my bike?
where are my CD's
where is that 20 dollars ?
where is my giutar?
where are my guns?
it has been 2 hours or 3 days where are you?
were is my drill?
were is my boat?
were is my aquarium?
were is my mom?
were is my stamp colection?
were is my coin colection?
were is my pot?
were is my beer?
were is my roll model?
where is my suport?
where is the food?
what happened to the electricity?
what happened to the running water?
who is this in my house?
what are you doing raking the yeard at 4 in the morning?
why are you using teh garden hose to clean the kitchen floor?
why are you crying?
why are you yelling at me?
why are we moving again?
why are you embarising me infront of your friends?
why do you say these embarising things infront of my friends?
why did you hit me?
why is everything i do not good enough to you?
why do you do one thing and say another?
are you a prostitue?
why don't you believe me?
why am i not in school?
why won't you wake up?
why doesnt somebody do something.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
I would ask mine ....
why if that life is so great, so fun, has such a pull on you that you lie cheat steal and hurt hte people that love you..........why if its just so damn important to you why dont you just go out and stay out.........why keep lying to us telling us you love us you want us you need us when we both know you need noone and want nothing except your drugs and excitment
why if that life is so great, so fun, has such a pull on you that you lie cheat steal and hurt hte people that love you..........why if its just so damn important to you why dont you just go out and stay out.........why keep lying to us telling us you love us you want us you need us when we both know you need noone and want nothing except your drugs and excitment
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 333
I would ask my xagf nothing, there are no answers, to my questions, that she would give me. However I would ask your addicts a question, "Have you met my xagf Carla? I think you two were made for each other". J/K
Last edited by Noah812; 05-19-2007 at 09:27 PM.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,787
Originally Posted by lightseeker 
SaTIT -
thanks for your answers......we do want to know the answers to our questions. Actually, I was looking to get a list of questions together to ask......thanks tho!
Donna
thanks for your answers......we do want to know the answers to our questions. Actually, I was looking to get a list of questions together to ask......thanks tho!
Donna
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 107
I guess I wouldn't ask my addict son anything while he was using. The answers, IMO would be worthless. And now that he is sober today, I don't feel inclined to ask those sorts of things to him. He has made his amends with me, and I am happy he is where he is. In my mind those painful years are water under the bridge and he will share with me when his HP puts it on his heart. Just my 2 cents.
CIM
ETA: Carl250r -I hope you find the answers you seek, within yourself, or with outside counsel or a therapist Sounds like you have some major pain and questions. Best wishes for you, friend.
CIM
ETA: Carl250r -I hope you find the answers you seek, within yourself, or with outside counsel or a therapist Sounds like you have some major pain and questions. Best wishes for you, friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Kevin -
That's a good question. In my initial post I said "we don't understand what makes anons so different from addicts.....I'm going to try and find out what I can find out. My RAH has almost 2 years now from a 20 year crack addiction....maybe he'll shoot some honest answers back out"
This is just the way that my brain works. I work in the medical sciences and neurology/trauma is my speciality. I participate in a lot of research and my default mode is to gather information. You have to ask the right questions before you even know what to look for. This question came from my personal life not my professional life. The mechanisms of my mind probably work the same way in both though.
It boils down to the fact that I am living with someone that has been there - needles, pipes, lying, stealing, cheating......and he did it for a very long time. He has stopped now and his brain has done a lot of healing. He has had a number of explanations to my questions and I honestly thought that it might help to get his insight with other questions.
Misguided and curious are probably the answers that you are looking for in response to your question. I haven't disected my reasons for asking the original question - it just seemed like an interesting question at the time.
Hope that helps you.
Donna
That's a good question. In my initial post I said "we don't understand what makes anons so different from addicts.....I'm going to try and find out what I can find out. My RAH has almost 2 years now from a 20 year crack addiction....maybe he'll shoot some honest answers back out"
This is just the way that my brain works. I work in the medical sciences and neurology/trauma is my speciality. I participate in a lot of research and my default mode is to gather information. You have to ask the right questions before you even know what to look for. This question came from my personal life not my professional life. The mechanisms of my mind probably work the same way in both though.
It boils down to the fact that I am living with someone that has been there - needles, pipes, lying, stealing, cheating......and he did it for a very long time. He has stopped now and his brain has done a lot of healing. He has had a number of explanations to my questions and I honestly thought that it might help to get his insight with other questions.
Misguided and curious are probably the answers that you are looking for in response to your question. I haven't disected my reasons for asking the original question - it just seemed like an interesting question at the time.
Hope that helps you.
Donna
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Donna, It is an interesting question, but just like I would have a hard time answering why I enabled my addict daughter for so long, it would be equally hard to get the answers from her about why she used. I mean this girl had everything, beauty, brains, opportunity, family, etc. Why did she throw it all away to live in a seedy motel with a crack addict boyfriend? Humans are so complicated and answers to why are so complicated. I am 54 and I have always been an introvert, a thinker, someone who wants to find the answers to why I do what I do. Everytime I think I have me figured out, I come up with a new question. My cupboards are filled with books on self help, help for the addict, etc. So I understand your need to question. I just think that the answers are up to the individual. When I get myself figured out, then maybe I can find some answers to why she became an addict. I have my theories but are they based in fact or only my perspective. Hugs, Marle
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Marle -
I agree that the answers are up to an individual. There are no concrete answers to any of this...the only perspective that we have is our own.
I apologize for any offense that this has caused.....I certainly did not mean for it to turn into all of this.
Donna
I agree that the answers are up to an individual. There are no concrete answers to any of this...the only perspective that we have is our own.
I apologize for any offense that this has caused.....I certainly did not mean for it to turn into all of this.
Donna
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 113
I actually asked my XAH a question a few days ago. The question was: ADDICTS DON'T JUST WAKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDE TO BE SOBER, RIGHT? His answer was: NO. My response was: SO SOMETHING TRAUMATIC MUST HAPPEN FOR YOU TO DECIDE TO GET SOBER AGAIN? His response: I GUESS. YEAH.
I knew the answer to the question, I just was curious how he would answer it in active addiction. I know from my experience with him that when he was in rehab and fresh out of rehab, any of the affore-mentioned questions that were asked on this post, his answers would have been: TOTAL INSANITY. IT'S CRAZY ISN'T IT. When his mind is sober, the rationale is just like our way of thinking about the whole miserable lifestyle of addiction.
I knew the answer to the question, I just was curious how he would answer it in active addiction. I know from my experience with him that when he was in rehab and fresh out of rehab, any of the affore-mentioned questions that were asked on this post, his answers would have been: TOTAL INSANITY. IT'S CRAZY ISN'T IT. When his mind is sober, the rationale is just like our way of thinking about the whole miserable lifestyle of addiction.
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