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Should I go?

Old 05-18-2007, 07:59 PM
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tangled up in blue
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Should I go?

A lot of my friends are graduating on Sunday and the trip would be 3 hours away for me to drive. I want to go as a final good-bye, since we'll be spread out throughout the country after this. I was originally going to be graduating on this date, but I have to take summer classes and one class in the fall (though I won't be going to that school again because of the cost).

It would be better for me to drive up on Saturday and spend the night as it's more convenient. I can then stay with a friend in the dorms. However, everyone always goes out on Saturday nights. I've told my friends that I've stopped drinking but I don't really know if that will be...respected (I'm not sure if that's the right word) since it'll be all of our last nights together. Have you ever noticed that whenever there's a "last night" to be had with a group of friends, things always get crazy? During the semester, I used to go out with everyone on Fridays and Saturdays. Saturday was our karaoke night at the bar. I'm sure everyone will want to go again but the last time I tried that during sobriety, I ****** up. The next week, I did go and didn't drink but I had a miserable time. I just know everyone is gonna want to get crazy. What should I do?
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Old 05-18-2007, 08:08 PM
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everything is already ok
 
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You asked so; don't go or go briefly on the Sunday, but given what you have said I would not go. I am sure you will get lots of different opinions but do what is best for your recovery. For me its always a 'no-brainer'

Kevin
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Old 05-18-2007, 08:52 PM
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Of you go to support them, I'd advise bringing someone, preferably in the program. Bring your own car, and have an exit strategy.

Otherwise, send them a nice card, give them a phone call, and wish them well.

It's really up to you. If you think it will threaten your sobriety, don't go. Graduation is a milestone , but it's not as important as someones life.
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Old 05-18-2007, 10:18 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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It is my experience that each part of our lives
has it's own friends
We touch and share goals and interest.... then move on.

You have already changed moved forward...

Keep the memories and stay sober by letting them go.
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:21 AM
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I totally agree with all the above.

That would not be something I would do, or would go to for just a short time. Making those kinds of changes in sobriety makes things so much easier.
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:24 AM
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Can you drive up on sat and get a cheap hotel room for the night, do a quick cameo on sunday for graduation then drive home Sunday? Just a thought.
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:25 AM
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get it, give it, grow in it
 
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To stay sober often you have to change everything about your life. You are worried about going listen to your inner voice. It sounds like you know sober is the priority.
Don't let your addictive mind lead you in the wrong direction. This too will pass.
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:49 AM
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tangled up in blue
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Forget it. I'm not going. I just used. ****.
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Old 05-19-2007, 01:35 AM
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Hey, xX.
You OK? PM me if you want to talk. Try not to get too down on yourself.
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Old 05-19-2007, 01:45 AM
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tangled up in blue
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Livefree, I'm doing okay I'm just dissapointed in myself. I was on SR so I wouldn't do anything but then I went to bed and lay there feeling really down. But I will be fine. I'm just dissapointed. I am going to have this thread deleted tomorrow but thanks for the concern.
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Old 05-19-2007, 01:54 AM
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Hi There,

I don't really have any advice for you except you cant change what has happened so don't give yourself too much of a hard time. You can't go back and not use what already has been used (does that make sense) all you can do is decide what you will do with tomorrow, in fact not even tomorrow, what you will do the next moment of your life, as who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I don't know if I would have post/thread deleted keep it as a reminder of how you felt? And the support and concern people have for you.

Take care of yourself

hugs
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Old 05-19-2007, 02:05 AM
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tangled up in blue
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Thank you. You're right. I can't change this. If this post will be a reminder, then I might as well add how stupid it was to do this when I have to help my Dad move things out of his office later today. And he is getting up soon so I'm hoping he doesn't realize I'm in a state. Well, thank you and I am just going to try again.
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Old 05-19-2007, 02:12 AM
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Thats the attitude. Go for it. IHopefully this will make you laugh or at least smile, I put bacon into grill aboiout 10/15 minutes ago and wondered why I couldnt hear/smell it coooking....I suppose it would help if I had switched the grill on. lol

Don't worry about your dad, I expect we all worry far too much about what others might think and se remember you think you look bad because YOU KNOW you used he doesn't so you could have just had a rough night etc if you dont want tobe or cant be honest with him

Good luck, you will be fine (easy for me to say eh!!)

hugs
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Old 05-19-2007, 02:54 AM
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there's nothing we can do about the past, All you can is change the future!, my friend.You have that power in you.

Karim
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Old 05-19-2007, 04:42 AM
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And remember, just because you used, doesn't mean you have to keep using.
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Old 05-19-2007, 06:00 AM
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let it grow!
 
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hugs, btb. don't give up. blessings, k
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Old 05-19-2007, 06:05 AM
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tangled up in blue
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Thanks everyone. I feel like complete ****. This is a definite reminder to never do this again. I'm anxious, I can't sleep, and I haven't slept at all last night. My heart is pounding so hard. I hate this feeling.

ETA. I just flushed the rest of that bottle of pills down the toilet. I have to do it when I'm feeling this ****** or else I somehow forget how this inevitably makes me feel. I can't stand one more day like this!
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:36 PM
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BTB -

Stay strong. I just had a slip, and I have been beating myself over the head for a week. I know exactly how you feel - my problems/anxiety/lonliness/ager did not go away - they just got worse. To top it all off, I've spent the past week "coming clean" to all 6 AA groups and an outpatient group. It's been very hard!

On the bright side, my resolve to not drink again has strengthened considerably!

Great job on dumping the pills!!

TinLizzy
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:39 PM
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tangled up in blue
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Thanks. Ugh, yes I just feel worse and now I am paranoid about things I did even though I don't think I did any of them.
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by xXBacktoBlackXx View Post
I can't stand one more day like this!

you don't ever have to feel tired like that again! what a chance you have! you are young, you do this, you get it! it's not as the words go, but is as deep as they can go! since yesterday i have been saying to myself; you never ever have to use again. hadn't understood what that meant before, it means, i don't need ever again to believe in the rush of giving up, i won't!because i can be clean for the rest of my life. Who's gonna tell me it aint possible? talk to God if you doubt me...he'll tell ya: here's your life, here's your power, now kick the ass of everything tearin' you down, get up, ignore the lie of every negative energy that needs a body to lay down, and start being everything you can.in Amy's face i can see yours. there's a girl with such a believe in herself that's gonna make the world her heaven!Stay strong,i think i am one year older than you and i sure know how it feels to see people graduating. You have had God shown you how life is hard at a very young age. You have special tools to have an amazing future life!i wouldn't wright this if i didn't believe with all my strength you, me and everybody here will feel the power of sobriety...
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