Let the games continue
Peace Hope Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 72
Let the games continue
well the 38 year old GF came and got her stuff today. Called within one hour of moving things out of my backyeard and basement stating things were missing and broken. I know nothing was broken because I packed it and made extra special sure nothing was harmed because I wanted to be sure she had no reason to call. She called again 30 minutes later and I answered the phone - received a 'f-you b*&^%' and she hung up. Then she left my husband a voice mail on his cell saying 'too bad your kid has to go to jail just because your wife is a f-ing c*&t', and he deleted it. She screamed when she left last Friday 'that she was going to f* our family up'. Classy broad.
Yet - here I sit trying to make sure I did the right thing. She is toxic and hateful and manipulative and lazy and a super freak. She told me how she had spent $1000 on swimsuits one year and her bill collectors are calling here. I changed the voice mail to advise we were not taking calls and left her cell number on it. In my heart I know THEIR behaviorS are collectivley wrong, and I also know she is vindictive and can't seem to believe that we would kick her nasty butt out. (told me once no man has ever left her - she leaves them) Crazy woman - her man didn't leave her - his parents did! So why am I am sitting here trying to make sure I own what is mine and that I don't take on what belongs to others?????
Thank you for the language of letting go update - I have been obsessing ever since I heard her voice mail. But why am I responsible for her inability to behave, why do I have to pay her rent, utilities , give her a place to live, watch her not work, watch her slap my son repeatedly, listen to her yell at him about what she needs to do with his paycheck - I know I don't have to put up with this anymore - someone tell me why I am the one feeling like doo-doo? My boundary is my boundary - I never did anything to her material belongings! Not that I wouldn't have liked to considering everything she has cost this family, but I don't go looking for trouble - I wanted it out of my house and i took great pains to make sure things were not broken! i didn't buy any rubber maid bin - but it was in very strong nice heafty bags and nothing was hurt.
She / they have hocked everything he own's - none of her stuff - just his, to get by. Their choice, and I sit here feeling like super bad mom. WHY DOESN"T HE LEAVE HER - it seems so obvious to everyone else but him!
My sponser tells me 'you will know in your gut when you have had enough', and I have had enough of this gal that is for sure! Geeze..when does the insanity stop! I am trying to remember we are all children of God (my HP), and I can cross that line into helping (which in my world is really stellar enabeling) forgiving bad behavior and getting sucked back into the crap (enabeling - see above). i know boundaries are flexible - but I still don't want to move this one becuase this entire thing feels so very un-healthy.
Thanks for letting me vent and thanks in advance for your prayers! I am praying for each of you and your A's, your families and those in recovery. I am even praying for rmyself. This just plain has to stop. I fell like poop. love n GB/M
Yet - here I sit trying to make sure I did the right thing. She is toxic and hateful and manipulative and lazy and a super freak. She told me how she had spent $1000 on swimsuits one year and her bill collectors are calling here. I changed the voice mail to advise we were not taking calls and left her cell number on it. In my heart I know THEIR behaviorS are collectivley wrong, and I also know she is vindictive and can't seem to believe that we would kick her nasty butt out. (told me once no man has ever left her - she leaves them) Crazy woman - her man didn't leave her - his parents did! So why am I am sitting here trying to make sure I own what is mine and that I don't take on what belongs to others?????
Thank you for the language of letting go update - I have been obsessing ever since I heard her voice mail. But why am I responsible for her inability to behave, why do I have to pay her rent, utilities , give her a place to live, watch her not work, watch her slap my son repeatedly, listen to her yell at him about what she needs to do with his paycheck - I know I don't have to put up with this anymore - someone tell me why I am the one feeling like doo-doo? My boundary is my boundary - I never did anything to her material belongings! Not that I wouldn't have liked to considering everything she has cost this family, but I don't go looking for trouble - I wanted it out of my house and i took great pains to make sure things were not broken! i didn't buy any rubber maid bin - but it was in very strong nice heafty bags and nothing was hurt.
She / they have hocked everything he own's - none of her stuff - just his, to get by. Their choice, and I sit here feeling like super bad mom. WHY DOESN"T HE LEAVE HER - it seems so obvious to everyone else but him!
My sponser tells me 'you will know in your gut when you have had enough', and I have had enough of this gal that is for sure! Geeze..when does the insanity stop! I am trying to remember we are all children of God (my HP), and I can cross that line into helping (which in my world is really stellar enabeling) forgiving bad behavior and getting sucked back into the crap (enabeling - see above). i know boundaries are flexible - but I still don't want to move this one becuase this entire thing feels so very un-healthy.
Thanks for letting me vent and thanks in advance for your prayers! I am praying for each of you and your A's, your families and those in recovery. I am even praying for rmyself. This just plain has to stop. I fell like poop. love n GB/M
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Don't be feeling like Poop! You showed this woman.. this ADULT.. that you expect her to behave LIKE AN ADULT. She didn't like it. T.S.
You have done something so GOOD for you and, ultimately, so GOOD FOR HER!!!!
Money makes the world go round. You need yours for you. Spending it to support someone who is ungrateful and nasty is totally insane.
(Remember, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! All the things you ahve done for her over and over have yielded nothing. Now you did something new and the result is she has to take responsibility and YOU have YOUR life back!).
No reason to feel like poop.. you should be dancing on roof tops and singing at the top of your lungs! You took YOUR life back!!!
He will leave her when HE HAS HAD ENOUGH. This is NOT your side of the street. It is his.
You have done something so GOOD for you and, ultimately, so GOOD FOR HER!!!!
Money makes the world go round. You need yours for you. Spending it to support someone who is ungrateful and nasty is totally insane.
(Remember, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! All the things you ahve done for her over and over have yielded nothing. Now you did something new and the result is she has to take responsibility and YOU have YOUR life back!).
No reason to feel like poop.. you should be dancing on roof tops and singing at the top of your lungs! You took YOUR life back!!!
He will leave her when HE HAS HAD ENOUGH. This is NOT your side of the street. It is his.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Wow...you really do know how to get a good vent in 
Welcome...I'm not sure if we've met, but I can say that you are WAY ahead of where I was thirty or so posts into SR.
The insanity stops when we say "enough", at least thats how it happened in my home. And yep...I felt like poop every time I put my foot down too. But eventually I came to realize that I did what needed to be done (and usually was late at getting to it)
Look on the bright side...you can delete messages, not pick up, turn the phone off. All a lot easier than having a front row seat for the performance.
Sending prayers for peace
((((Hugs))))
Cece
Welcome...I'm not sure if we've met, but I can say that you are WAY ahead of where I was thirty or so posts into SR.
The insanity stops when we say "enough", at least thats how it happened in my home. And yep...I felt like poop every time I put my foot down too. But eventually I came to realize that I did what needed to be done (and usually was late at getting to it)
Look on the bright side...you can delete messages, not pick up, turn the phone off. All a lot easier than having a front row seat for the performance.
Sending prayers for peace
((((Hugs))))
Cece
Peace Hope Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 72
I guess I did really go off didn't I! Didn't realize how long it was until I saw replies. Thanks for the strong healthy counsel. I neede to hear the insanity definition again, I needed to hear about 'my side of the street' No i don't want a front row seat and the pain of staying the same or going back to a week agon tonight is not negotiable. I am grateful for your wisdom and friendship. I AM WORTHY!
Elena - Did the dog get a name?
Elena - Did the dog get a name?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Blvingod,
You are going to start feeling like the queen of your castle again. Thumbs up to you for taking your house back. You should have packed that girl a knuckle sandwich with her things. Sounds like she needs her mouth washed out with a nice bar of soap. You took control, no going back.
Hugs............Lo
You are going to start feeling like the queen of your castle again. Thumbs up to you for taking your house back. You should have packed that girl a knuckle sandwich with her things. Sounds like she needs her mouth washed out with a nice bar of soap. You took control, no going back.
Hugs............Lo
Last edited by Lobo; 05-18-2007 at 08:54 PM.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
My mother (aa for 30 years) once asked me if I would swallow a poison. I looked at her like she was crazy. She said, well, you get the same results when you let keep a toxic hate filled person in your life.
Strange alalogy, but it made sense to me.
Strange alalogy, but it made sense to me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
BlvinGod---Jeez she is CRAZY!! INSANE!! CUCKOO!! Holy cr*p! Don't let all those nutty voice mails etc get under your skin...she wants it to, so don't let it!! My gosh, you are lucky that she left without burning your house down or something!! Have you gotten a restraining order against her yet? If not, you need to!!!
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