As Called From Jail
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: on the lake
Posts: 335
As Called From Jail
As Calls And Tells Me Hes In The "bullpen" With 7 Other Guys. Theyve Shaved His Head, And He Wearing An Orange Jumpsuit. He Found Out That As A Property Owner I Could Sign His Bond And He Would Be Free. I Told Him I Already Knew This And Chose Not To Do It. I Told Him I Thought He Was Safer There Than Living On The Streets With 15yr Old Agf, Smoking Crack Filled Brillo Pads And Breaking Into My House. He Dosent Understand, Hes Not Mentioned Any Plans For Recovery In Any Conversation Only The Things It Will Take To Get Him Out Of Jail. I Said Do You Know Why Youre In There, He Said Yeah Agf. Hes Just Not Ready Yet Is He. His Last Words To Me Before He Hung Up Were "ill Remeber This". What Does That Mean??? Quack, Quack, Quack Thats What I Think. His Court Date Is Monday ANd Im Trying To Decide If I Want To Be There.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
i don't go to my daughter's courtdates - they make me too sad. my husband goes though. i find when my daughter is in those tough days, best i can do is stay away and let her process. i'm sorry, laketime. blessings, k
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
sounds alot like my a.s. before it is over it will be your fault. i am sorry for you & for him.as you said he is safe. before recovery i was at every court date, today i am not. you do what you are comfortable with.the first court date they are not tried here.sending prayers for you both.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Before Christmas we offered our daughter a way out of her h*ll. Rehab and halfway house. Then again in March we did the same. She told me that we would not let her come to our house and visit in December and that is why she has stayed with her abusive abf and continued to do drugs. So quack, quack, quack is right on. Stay strong and let him figure it out. His brain is still muddled by the drugs and he wants out so that he can continue to destroy those brain cells. Best to leave him to stew in his own juices. Hugs, Marle
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: on the lake
Posts: 335
Hope His First Court Date Was Last Friday I Didnt Attend But An Attorney Friend Of Mine Was There Pretending To Be Ther For Someone Else Just To Let Me Know What The Charges Were. Its My Understanding Mondays Date Will Be When The Judge Decides What To Do With Him, Is That Not The Way It Works??
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SC
Posts: 1,027
Just depends on the state, county, court and what the judge is doing that day. Normally, in my state, there is Bond Hearing, Initial Appearance where either the case is dismissed or it is found there is enough evidence to hold over, def. is either released or held over on bond, the Preliminary Hearing where evidence is presented. It will be determined whether there is enough evidence to warrant an arraignment for defendent to enter the not guilty plea.
All of this is avoided if the defendant pleas down the charges, which happens alot.
All of this is avoided if the defendant pleas down the charges, which happens alot.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
I don't go either, too hard. THere's nothing you can do anyway, except get hurt all over again. He continues to blame everyone else, he's the victim. Your right, he is safer in there!!
My prayers,
susan
My prayers,
susan
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Lake,
I went to a hearing once with my as, and blubbered like a baby the whole time.
I can't do court. The only other time was when we dropped the charges for stealing from our house. Big mistake, I guess. Since he hasn't learned sh*t from it.
Anyway, just wanted to send my prayers up for you, Mrs. Lake, and as.
I pray that this experience leaves him finished with the drug life, and wanting better.
Hang in there. Miracles happen daily. I pray his is comin'.
I went to a hearing once with my as, and blubbered like a baby the whole time.
I can't do court. The only other time was when we dropped the charges for stealing from our house. Big mistake, I guess. Since he hasn't learned sh*t from it.
Anyway, just wanted to send my prayers up for you, Mrs. Lake, and as.
I pray that this experience leaves him finished with the drug life, and wanting better.
Hang in there. Miracles happen daily. I pray his is comin'.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i think you did good lake, he's safer there than on the streets with the underaged gf, that charge would scare me more. "he'll remember this", hope that means that he'll remember what got him there, i think he's throwing guilt around. like someone else said, before you know it, he'll be blaming you for him being where he is. maybe now he will gain a moment of clarity and can be better able to make better choices for himself. time in jail, i think is time away from drugs.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Oh boy, this sounds like deja vu to me.
I have heard all that and more. The pleading with a helpless voice ,the crying. When that doesn't work they try a different approach like blame.
I learned to stand my ground. By standing my ground, I don't have to listen to that "quacking". I simply ignore it. I learned to let both my sons learn the hard way since they won't listen to reason.
Sounds like your son is scrambling to get out and is fearing he just might have to stay a few days.
Try not to take what he says personally. It's the addiction speaking.
Take care.
I have heard all that and more. The pleading with a helpless voice ,the crying. When that doesn't work they try a different approach like blame.
I learned to stand my ground. By standing my ground, I don't have to listen to that "quacking". I simply ignore it. I learned to let both my sons learn the hard way since they won't listen to reason.
Sounds like your son is scrambling to get out and is fearing he just might have to stay a few days.
Try not to take what he says personally. It's the addiction speaking.
Take care.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Do whatever would make you feel better, not because of guilt or sense of duty but just whatever suits you. Personally, I don't do court, bail hearing, jail visits or probation hearings, they're too depressing and I have no reason to be there.
We don't have to suffer when they go to jail and we don't have to do what they say "or else". We get to hang up if they're rude and we get to spend their bail money on something wonderful for ourselves...and not feel guilty for a minute. We don't have to pay the consequences for their actions, we don't own any of it.
Hugs
We don't have to suffer when they go to jail and we don't have to do what they say "or else". We get to hang up if they're rude and we get to spend their bail money on something wonderful for ourselves...and not feel guilty for a minute. We don't have to pay the consequences for their actions, we don't own any of it.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: tween Mich.and Fla
Posts: 74
Do what makes you feel comfortable. Our son used the story that he might get raped? First time I bought that story-bailed him out. Wrong. Second time in jail he said that he was pushed down stairs -knocked his teeth out. Went to see him- wow - no bruises, teeth still in. So told him he was in for the long haul. So I finally realised what I was comfortable in dealing with him.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Lake........I don't have anything to do with any of it. I agree with Ann.
Too painful. I will not let her degrade me anymore than she already has.
Whatever feels right to you is what you should do.
You are in my thoughts..............Lo
Too painful. I will not let her degrade me anymore than she already has.
Whatever feels right to you is what you should do.
You are in my thoughts..............Lo
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