Language of Letting Go - May 16
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - May 16
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Self Love
"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself?
The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.
But what a valuable venture!
By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly.
We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve.
Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough.
We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day.
We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day.
We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves.
We can love other people and let them love us.
People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed.
Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Self Love
"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself?
The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.
But what a valuable venture!
By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly.
We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve.
Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough.
We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day.
We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day.
We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves.
We can love other people and let them love us.
People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed.
Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It never occurred to me that I should love myself, how conceited that all sounded to me until my sponsor pointed out that loving ourselves is not about vanity, it's about self-care and confidence that we ARE worthy. It's treating ourselves with the same care and respect we gave to others.
It takes practice and a daily reminder to myself that I AM worthy of love and respect, of myself first and hopefully by others too. As it becomes less important to me what others think of me, my confidence grows because today I can do good things for myself and make healthy choices knowing I deserve to be treated well....and it all begins with me.
Hugs
It takes practice and a daily reminder to myself that I AM worthy of love and respect, of myself first and hopefully by others too. As it becomes less important to me what others think of me, my confidence grows because today I can do good things for myself and make healthy choices knowing I deserve to be treated well....and it all begins with me.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 518
Thank you for the post and your insight.
Not only have I felt myself a defective and inadequate human being most of my life, I have feared taking any risks that will prove to me that I AM a below average speciman.
Slowly, I am beginning to have hope that I can wash away some of this negative shell that has encased me for so long and locked in fear.
Not only have I felt myself a defective and inadequate human being most of my life, I have feared taking any risks that will prove to me that I AM a below average speciman.
Slowly, I am beginning to have hope that I can wash away some of this negative shell that has encased me for so long and locked in fear.
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