5Stars

I have seen many posts about A's being sober and then relapsing after one week, 2 months, one year?

I wonder is there any magic number where chance of relapse is slim to none?

What have the majority of your experiences been? Thank you..

ICU

I'm not exactly answering your question, but I will say this. I've heard it been said in open AA meetings that they are only '1' 'drink' away from a relapse. I've never heard time frames discussed. Perhaps someone more enlightened can respond to that.

mallowcup

If they are dead serious and have a good plan in place, there's no reason they ever have to drink again. Many alcoholics had their last drink years ago. If an alcoholic has a poor plan in place (unrealistic) or is just making a half hearted effort to get someone else off their back, I don't really call it a relapse, I call it an end to the scene they are playing in. Some start off with every intention to do it themself underestimating what detox really entails. Some start with every intention to quit and they don't make any changes at all, almost tempting failure. No, there is no magical number. There is nothing magical about any of it.

LaTeeDa

My therapist once told me that when I stopped asking questions like this, that is when I would begin to recover. She said that you can never completely trust another person, but it doesn't matter as long as you trust yourself. If you trust yourself enough to do the right thing for you, no matter what the other person does, then you will be fine.

L

prodigal

As they say in AA, "One drink is too many and a thousand drinks are never enough." Take it from LaTeeDa, asking all these questions about someone else's addiction probably won't get you the answers you seek. Each alcoholic is an individual, and each individual is different. Even professional addictions counselors can only give statistics regarding the relapse versus success rate. Nobody knows who will make it and who won't - not even the alcoholic himself.

WhatAboutME

My AH has relapsed after 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, 1 year, and most recently after just over 2 years of sobriety. There is no magic number on relapse. There is no magic pill for recovery. It's all up to them.

Tazman53

Hi again 5Stars, without AA or some other long term recovery program, relapse probability is extremely high, pushing 100%.

I am pushing 8 months now, I consider myself recovered from alcoholism, but my recovery is a daily reprieve dependant upon my spiritual condition! In simpler terms I know that when I think I am "CURED", or I quit going to meetings and quit working my program I am starting on the path to relapse.

Is there a magic number of years to assure one of no relapse? Absolutely not!

There are magic numbers for relapses though if some one is working at a long term recovery program and then stops working it! 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, & 10 years! There are alcoholics in AA that have stayed sober for over 20 years and relapsed! Why? They either thought they were cured/not an alcoholic or they quit working thier program!

Alcoholism is an incurable disease! I am always one drink away from a relapse.

laurie6781

NO, NO, NO

I am personally coming up on 26 years sober and clean and there are still no guarantees. True, in my case it is highly unlikely that I would pick up a drink, however, I personally have known several folks with,lets see, one had 15, one had 17, several were 12 or 13, one was 22 and one was 26 who went back out. And that's not counting the ones between 1 and 5 years or 1 and 10 years, lol.

The sad thing about the guy with over 26 years, 3 weeks after he started drinking again, he killed his wife and then himself in a drunken rage.

Oh and some of the ones that I know that went out had some pretty damn good sobriety working for them, but somewhere along the way, let their guard down, lost faith, just could not deal any longer with reality, but something triggered them.

Now that is not to say THAT MANY LIKE MYSELF HAVE GREAT LIVES AND STAY SOBER.

But there are NO GUARANTEES. Wish I could tell you that there are, but nope.

The best thing for you to do would be to go to Al-anon, learn about boundaries, figure out what your boundaries are, then stick with them, with a back up plan in place, for if and when your boundary is crossed.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Sunflower

There is alway Hope--believe that--

mushroom

my ex AH relapsed after 13 years dry, and darn near killed himself in the process.

I too often wondered how long he needed to go before I could feel sure he'd stay sober. the only accurate answer is, once he's dead is the only time I can be sure he will never drink again. so sad and morbid maybe but that's the way it is. There is always hope, yes, but there is never any surety. Any A can relapse after any number of years sober. Or stay sober forever. You will never know in advance, and there is nothing you can do to sway the outcome. You can only take care of yourself.

Can you live with him forever the way he is right now?? that's the question. How about if it gets worse?

tiburon88

It has been reported that 1 year of sobriety seems to be a good milestone to reach. The rates of relapse drops somewhat. Then the five year mark shows a big drop in relapse. However, anyone can relapse at any point in their recovery. IMO though if you have 20 years & are still terrified (not just slightly afraid) of picking a drink up, somethings wrong.

Sunflower

I was told by a leader in AA that some of the last words ""Bill""(AA founder) spoke were something along the lines of''''I wish I had a drink"" while he lay dying!!! It is a lifetime journey.

Highlander99

There is no magic number they are always going to have the urge to drink. It all about how well they can supress the urge weather its look to a higher power or just getting their act together. My A could go for months with out a drink and then in one night drink a 12 pack. I never knew what was waiting for me when I got home at night. At least now that is not a problem!

minnie

Stats are meaningless when it comes to this kind of thing. There are many, many people who recover and never come close to the radar of any number-gatherers.

Sunflower is right in mentioning hope. I believe that a sense of purpose and meaning (i.e. hope, in a sense) is as good a safeguard as any against relapse. But that has to come from within, rather than from external things, I think.

I found that attending open AA meetings and reading the AA/Alcoholism boards here trained me to spot real recovery when I saw it.