Always finding ...
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Always finding ...
Ok so my XAB ...as some of you know-was arrested in one month 3 times for harrassing/stalking me. Also a DUI thrown in there as well. (His 4th in a year)
So I have changed my route to work-(about 5 times) but somehow he is popping up almost every morning behind me-in his car! It happen yesterday morning as I was pulling out of my street and this morning as I pulled out of a different coffee shop than I normally do. He works way on the other side of my town a good 3 miles!
It was documented each time he does this-his attorney was told-the Prosecutor knows-but there is nothing they can do because he is NOT DOING anything! Ha Ha no he is just trying to get me going again! But I will not allow it-I actually laughed this morning when I looked in the rear view mirror and saw him coming! I guess because I cannot allow him to make me feel afraid anymore!
There is nothing the police can do unless they make it there in time where he is behind my car (HELLO like that would happen-too busy eating the donuts!)
Unless I have a bruise (Like I will allow that to happen again) or any kind of other incident that can be proven in fact that it was him!
So I try to just go on living my life-with all the changes (which are still continued everyday not only to avoid him but to better myself) and let go and let God! If I end up that not to be blunt that I am dead because of his driving by then that is what is suppose to happen-but I will not dwell or think that way.
Just amazes me that they always find US! Why is that?? ( I even moved for God sakes! both my job and home!!) and he still finds me!
So I have changed my route to work-(about 5 times) but somehow he is popping up almost every morning behind me-in his car! It happen yesterday morning as I was pulling out of my street and this morning as I pulled out of a different coffee shop than I normally do. He works way on the other side of my town a good 3 miles!
It was documented each time he does this-his attorney was told-the Prosecutor knows-but there is nothing they can do because he is NOT DOING anything! Ha Ha no he is just trying to get me going again! But I will not allow it-I actually laughed this morning when I looked in the rear view mirror and saw him coming! I guess because I cannot allow him to make me feel afraid anymore!
There is nothing the police can do unless they make it there in time where he is behind my car (HELLO like that would happen-too busy eating the donuts!)
Unless I have a bruise (Like I will allow that to happen again) or any kind of other incident that can be proven in fact that it was him!
So I try to just go on living my life-with all the changes (which are still continued everyday not only to avoid him but to better myself) and let go and let God! If I end up that not to be blunt that I am dead because of his driving by then that is what is suppose to happen-but I will not dwell or think that way.
Just amazes me that they always find US! Why is that?? ( I even moved for God sakes! both my job and home!!) and he still finds me!
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Nope just keeps driving by! I have gone down my street in the morning up my street to the other side of the town....taken 5 different 10 different streets! I think he maybe just lurking by my street and then hiding somewhere when I come out of it?! (I have a dead end street so unfortunate I can only go out one way)
Ha Ha I actually had my mechanic look for a tracking device on my car!
Ha Ha I actually had my mechanic look for a tracking device on my car!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
Originally Posted by Rella927 
Just amazes me that they always find US! Why is that?? ( I even moved for God sakes! both my job and home!!) and he still finds me!
I really admire your strength Rella. Stay safe, and keep documenting his moves.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
LoL..my gf stock me when see was drunk..
She knew where i work, where i moved to , my #, my e mail.
And you know how the story gose when it's a woman doing it..lol
first she drove down the street...(Meetings)
the next day...see made it to the curb
the next day she drove into the parking lot.
the next week..she actaully got out of her car.
oneday...she sent someone into the meeting to get me.
but she would never step into the rooms of recovery.
attraction rather than promotions.lol
it's beyound just the drugs and alcoholc..It's that codi/addict dance.
You know..that chaos...as mess up as it was it was addictive..
God just making sure you're seriouse.
it's a test...just a test....lol
the only problem i had was I met another stocker too...holy schmoly.
what the heck kind of vibe I'm my giving out...
or i sure as heck know how to pick them.lol
She knew where i work, where i moved to , my #, my e mail.
And you know how the story gose when it's a woman doing it..lol
first she drove down the street...(Meetings)
the next day...see made it to the curb
the next day she drove into the parking lot.
the next week..she actaully got out of her car.
oneday...she sent someone into the meeting to get me.
but she would never step into the rooms of recovery.
attraction rather than promotions.lol
it's beyound just the drugs and alcoholc..It's that codi/addict dance.
You know..that chaos...as mess up as it was it was addictive..
God just making sure you're seriouse.
it's a test...just a test....lol
the only problem i had was I met another stocker too...holy schmoly.
what the heck kind of vibe I'm my giving out...
or i sure as heck know how to pick them.lol
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Maybe you can borrow/rent a different car for a while. Or hire a PI to record his stalking?
Just some ideas... this is very scary stuff, Rella. It sounds like you are doing everything in your power and showing some EXCELLENT recovery... but anyone spending THAT much time stalking you is escalating, so I would hope you can continue to be vigilant, be sure to spread the word around that he is stalking, and keep the cops apprised of the frequency of the stalking.... record, record, record.
You are in my prayers, girl. (((hugs)))
Just some ideas... this is very scary stuff, Rella. It sounds like you are doing everything in your power and showing some EXCELLENT recovery... but anyone spending THAT much time stalking you is escalating, so I would hope you can continue to be vigilant, be sure to spread the word around that he is stalking, and keep the cops apprised of the frequency of the stalking.... record, record, record.
You are in my prayers, girl. (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
How have you proved his harassing/stalking you previously? What kind of evidence did you need to get him arrested? Until I know the answers to that, here's a question for you....
Is there any way you can have a friend follow you to work in the morning and take pictures of his vehicle behind yours on several different days? Would that be enough evidence of his stalking?
Is there any way you can have a friend follow you to work in the morning and take pictures of his vehicle behind yours on several different days? Would that be enough evidence of his stalking?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
You can always file for a retraining order...
But be serious about it...The moment you make any contact with him
it's void.
Most alki suffers from obessive, complusive personalities disorder.
If his lawer really gives a rats arss about him . I would order him
into treatment or get help from professional pertaining to this issue.
Since it seems, he rather save his face instead of his ass..
AA is free and there's people that'll piont out these types of behaviors
are unacceptable and he should focus on himself. Which is usually the
first thing pretty much everybody it told when they walk into the
doors of AA. And yes sometypes it's scary as hell when a crazy (still using)
person walks into a recovery meeting room demanding to see his GF and
make all kinds of racket.
Do be careful and suround youself with plenty of people.
But be serious about it...The moment you make any contact with him
it's void.
Most alki suffers from obessive, complusive personalities disorder.
If his lawer really gives a rats arss about him . I would order him
into treatment or get help from professional pertaining to this issue.
Since it seems, he rather save his face instead of his ass..
AA is free and there's people that'll piont out these types of behaviors
are unacceptable and he should focus on himself. Which is usually the
first thing pretty much everybody it told when they walk into the
doors of AA. And yes sometypes it's scary as hell when a crazy (still using)
person walks into a recovery meeting room demanding to see his GF and
make all kinds of racket.
Do be careful and suround youself with plenty of people.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Originally Posted by SaTiT
You can always file for a retraining order...
But be serious about it...The moment you make any contact with him
it's void.
But be serious about it...The moment you make any contact with him
it's void.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 221
It's disturbing. Even if he means no harm, it's annoying for be followed and watched all the time. Besides, you can never know what people are capable of doing while in active addiction. I'd file for a restraining order.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Hey Girl,
Its nice to hear your "detaching" head is in the right place, and your not letting it bother you, instead seeing the amusement in a weird way. But when it comes to safety, if my A showed up ANYWHERE near me, I'd be tweeked.
Some have suggested the RO. Made me think. Could I do that if I had too? As far as the debate about when one becomes null and void, I have no clue. But I will say, if I was gonna do it, I better have it in my OWN head that there was no longer any hope of my A and I being together. I'm told legality's make my A a tad angry.
Think I'm gonna have to do some internal "housecleaning" this afternoon to ponder that one,,,
Please be safe
Peace
Its nice to hear your "detaching" head is in the right place, and your not letting it bother you, instead seeing the amusement in a weird way. But when it comes to safety, if my A showed up ANYWHERE near me, I'd be tweeked.
Some have suggested the RO. Made me think. Could I do that if I had too? As far as the debate about when one becomes null and void, I have no clue. But I will say, if I was gonna do it, I better have it in my OWN head that there was no longer any hope of my A and I being together. I'm told legality's make my A a tad angry.
Think I'm gonna have to do some internal "housecleaning" this afternoon to ponder that one,,,
Please be safe
Peace
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Keep a camera in the car, that has a time and date stamp on the pictures you take. Everytime he is behind you, stop, turn around and snap a pic of his car.
Burn the pictures to 2 CD's and give them to the cops and the DA.
What he is doing is STALKING and that is illegal as hell.
J M H O
Be safe!!!!!
Love and hugs,
Burn the pictures to 2 CD's and give them to the cops and the DA.
What he is doing is STALKING and that is illegal as hell.
J M H O
Be safe!!!!!
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: OH
Posts: 1
My xhusband who was addicted to gambling and Obsessive Compusive used to stalk and harass me. Shaved his head. Told everyone he was going to kill me. Everytime I looked in my rearview, there he was. I called the cops numerous times. He didn't care. One time I called the police when he was following me home. When the cops showed up, he got out of the car holding his wrists out to be arrested. The cop couldn't believe it! I finally ignored him and he got tired of it. He was looking for attention/sympathy... i think. Once I let it go, so did he. I moved on with my life, got a good job and a new place with our daughter and I think he felt stupid after awhile.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Actually to answer alot of questions in this thread-
I do have a FINAL RESTRAINING ORDER on this man! (Two herniated discs helped this final to take place along with the cops pulling him out of my home DRUNK)
The harrasing yes proved several times from his calls and text and emails (Imagine that SaTiT ha ha! and I honestly think he has female tendencys like your gf)
ICU-The stalking-I have pictures and the cops actually picked him up about 1/4 mile from me TWICE both times he was drunk! And the funny thing is I had my camera phone ready and when I did not see him this morning I shut it and POOF there he was! The pictures help and helps more when the cops actually thank god in my case got there on time! The cops in my town are aware very aware I'm friends with 3 of them so they know what is going on and look for him around my street etc...so that is a plus!
BigSis I tried that different car trick too!
AllTooSober- I did that too! And filed the report - on several different occasions!
His court date should be sometime the end of this month or in the start of June-for all 3 arrests for harrassing/stalking me. So we shall see what happens. The last time he was arrested he was in for 5 days out less than 24 hours and started again!
He has been lying to his attorneys-as the Detective I deal with spoke to one of them and they said well she showed up in his town and went face face with him talking to him-what the real story was-I went out to dinner with a girlfriend in his town and he was probably stalking me! The attorney said to the Detective they are aware of his drinking problem and he is in AA!
I also have heard that "time stands still" for A's? Is this true? Maybe he was thinking of sometime when we were together??? A LONG time ago!?
SaTiT "Most alki suffers from obessive, complusive personalities disorder.
If his lawer really gives a rats arss about him . I would order him
into treatment or get help from professional pertaining to this issue.
Since it seems, he rather save his face instead of his ass.."
He was in treatment (forced by court TWICE now) and relapsed TWICE- I believe that this is more than just the "alkie" problem-as well!
Astro-Intimidation, we're really sick like that.(That is the word I was looking for what he is doing to me!!!) Thank You! Hugs
CEGIRL-I believe that you can get a temp restraining order -it is like ICU stated you have to have proof of some sort of threat, harrasment etc....in order to get a final or a temp. I believe-you can check into this at your local police station.It is different I think too from state to state
BigSis "anyone spending THAT much time stalking you is escalating, so I would hope you can continue to be vigilant, be sure to spread the word around that he is stalking, and keep the cops apprised of the frequency of the stalking."
Thank you
I know this is serious and thank you all so much for all the responses!!!
I was petrified 4 weeks ago when I came out of the store and he was there in his car! I did not know what he would do-but thank God the cops came and arrested him!
I will be careful-but I also will live my life as I have been so much happier! Just living with more caution is all! I have the digital in the car at all times Laurie Thanks!
(((HUGS EVERYONE))))
I do have a FINAL RESTRAINING ORDER on this man! (Two herniated discs helped this final to take place along with the cops pulling him out of my home DRUNK)
The harrasing yes proved several times from his calls and text and emails (Imagine that SaTiT ha ha! and I honestly think he has female tendencys like your gf)
ICU-The stalking-I have pictures and the cops actually picked him up about 1/4 mile from me TWICE both times he was drunk! And the funny thing is I had my camera phone ready and when I did not see him this morning I shut it and POOF there he was! The pictures help and helps more when the cops actually thank god in my case got there on time! The cops in my town are aware very aware I'm friends with 3 of them so they know what is going on and look for him around my street etc...so that is a plus!
BigSis I tried that different car trick too!
AllTooSober- I did that too! And filed the report - on several different occasions!
His court date should be sometime the end of this month or in the start of June-for all 3 arrests for harrassing/stalking me. So we shall see what happens. The last time he was arrested he was in for 5 days out less than 24 hours and started again!
He has been lying to his attorneys-as the Detective I deal with spoke to one of them and they said well she showed up in his town and went face face with him talking to him-what the real story was-I went out to dinner with a girlfriend in his town and he was probably stalking me! The attorney said to the Detective they are aware of his drinking problem and he is in AA!
I also have heard that "time stands still" for A's? Is this true? Maybe he was thinking of sometime when we were together??? A LONG time ago!?
SaTiT "Most alki suffers from obessive, complusive personalities disorder.
If his lawer really gives a rats arss about him . I would order him
into treatment or get help from professional pertaining to this issue.
Since it seems, he rather save his face instead of his ass.."
He was in treatment (forced by court TWICE now) and relapsed TWICE- I believe that this is more than just the "alkie" problem-as well!
Astro-Intimidation, we're really sick like that.(That is the word I was looking for what he is doing to me!!!) Thank You! Hugs
CEGIRL-I believe that you can get a temp restraining order -it is like ICU stated you have to have proof of some sort of threat, harrasment etc....in order to get a final or a temp. I believe-you can check into this at your local police station.It is different I think too from state to state
BigSis "anyone spending THAT much time stalking you is escalating, so I would hope you can continue to be vigilant, be sure to spread the word around that he is stalking, and keep the cops apprised of the frequency of the stalking."
Thank you
I know this is serious and thank you all so much for all the responses!!!
I was petrified 4 weeks ago when I came out of the store and he was there in his car! I did not know what he would do-but thank God the cops came and arrested him!
I will be careful-but I also will live my life as I have been so much happier! Just living with more caution is all! I have the digital in the car at all times Laurie Thanks!
(((HUGS EVERYONE))))
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