Kimm992

I've realized over the past little while that I've struggled with self doubt for my entire life (but have only recently been able to recognize that).

Whenever I consider attempting something there is always this voice in the back of my head asking, "are you smart enough?", "are you capable?", "what if you can't do it?", etc. but whenever I end up attempting anything I always succeed in the end....so why the self doubt???

I'm wondering if maybe it has something to do with growing up with addict parents...and I'm curious as to other's thoughts on this and if anyone else struggles with self doubt.

SaTiT

yes i do.

Reading through some these help me so much.
There's a thread somewhere that has instructions for how to
get rid of my critical or negative inner vioce..
I think it's in the "talking to your critical vioce"...i follow the instructions on that..
It took around 60-90 days to rid of it, but the more I apply it the more I recognized it.
Within a couple of days...just taking a walking in the park..just enjoying life...
And out of no where...a negative vioce popped into my head.....huh???
It was suttle...as I observe the vioce....it's the vioce of my dad's...lol
" you're not going to be anything, you're worthless, ...you're not good enough...etc"
it affects me more when I'm tired or emotionally unstable..as when I going through a relationship break up.


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...wer-posts.html

also try reading up on the guilt thread...it made sence to me.

Rella927

I use to wonder this too Kimm (((hugs))) and do the same thing! I still do on occasion-it is a process-

One of the great threads as mentioned above from SaTiT is:

Talking To Your Critical Voices

Part of it from that thread:

Trace the Messages Back to Their Root
Look at the messages you hear in your head. Really analyze them. You had to get them from somewhere. Are any of them familiar? Did anyone tell you any of those messages when you were a child? Do they sound like your mother — or your father? Try to figure out when you first started “thinking” those phrases. Sometimes knowing where those messages come from can decrease their intensity. (Ah ha — that’s something my mother used to say to me. But she’s not right! I don’t need to carry her voice in my head any more.)
Have a Conversation With the Critical Voices
Have a conversation with your critical voices. It might help to do this on paper or at your computer so you can see it more clearly. Ask those critical voices what they need & why they’re telling you such negative things about yourself. Ask them what they’re afraid of & why they need to do what they do so strongly. Just let the answers come up & be there. Now is the time to listen.
Try not to be judgmental of those critical voices. It may help to realize that critical voices often come out of desperation & duress — such as a little child blaming herself instead of the adults who were hurting her, because it was safer to think that way. Often, behind all those negative messages & criticism is a lot of vulnerability, insecurity & fear. If you can get in touch with that vulnerability & understand where it’s coming from, you may find that the need to criticize yourself greatly diminishes.

My Dad always told us to just keep saying that "your mother is always right no matter what and that we would get by in life alot better" Yeah HELLO! It takes time to realize finally that NO she was not always right and now I do not have to accept that!

Peter

Yeah, I experience self doubt too but like you I am usually able to overcome it and forge ahead.

I am not sure if it has anything to do with negativity during childhood or my instincts cautioning me against making bad choices.

I have serious doubts about going base jumping but I am sure I could do it if I put my mind to it.

leviathon

Hi Kimm,

I grew up with the same addict parents who constantly belittled and shat upon me. Nothing I did was good enough. I wasn't good enough for my peers at school either.

Today, I struggle with fears of self doubt... mostly it has to do with being loveable. I know I am a good lawyer, and I am a good person. I have a hard time accepting that anyone could ever really love me despite my faults.

Levi

carl250r

well like when you are about to do something ,and you say to your self "boy i don't know if i can do this" or man "I am not going to make it"

That is normal.thats just you insticts trying to keep you safe.

the fact that you go and do it anyway ,is curage.
teh fact that you usualy suceed at it is cool ,but not as cool as doing it even though you thinking you could not,or were trying to talk your self out of it.