my girl friends a drunk but i benge drink
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my girl friends a drunk but i benge drink
my mom is sober now that she has burnt out her liver .she is in her early 50's i dont even know teh exact age. her liver is gone,her mom died from the same thing but was in her 70's
my mom has hepititus and was a cocain user my whole child hood and a crack smoker in my teens until just recently she don't smoke rocks anymore, My father was a mean SOB he is nice now that he is old, but i was and am so full of hate,i could not even notice what other parents were like i lived im my own world ,and still dp people tell me that anyway.
I expect my mom will die soon,wich sucks,but it is hard for me to get worked up about it.these people screw kids up so bad.
i was going to post in some one elses thred but i figuerd it'sther ethred i will just make a new one myself.i was reading about some dudes druck but sober now mom.
but what is realy bothering me and why i found this site is looking for some reading into alcohaulic wifes or fammilys.
this is whats bothering me.I have talked to my dad about it and tonight i emailed her mom,
my oldlady drinks to damn much,I work my ass off to suportare fammily and she gets drunk every damn night.i drink about once a month and when i do ,i realy tie one on, but this girl drinks every day and i hate her for it,and it makes her fat,and i hate that to. we got a 5 year old son that means the world to me ,and i am getting fed up with this chick.i don't know what to do..
she is out drinking rite now.
my mom has hepititus and was a cocain user my whole child hood and a crack smoker in my teens until just recently she don't smoke rocks anymore, My father was a mean SOB he is nice now that he is old, but i was and am so full of hate,i could not even notice what other parents were like i lived im my own world ,and still dp people tell me that anyway.
I expect my mom will die soon,wich sucks,but it is hard for me to get worked up about it.these people screw kids up so bad.
i was going to post in some one elses thred but i figuerd it'sther ethred i will just make a new one myself.i was reading about some dudes druck but sober now mom.
but what is realy bothering me and why i found this site is looking for some reading into alcohaulic wifes or fammilys.
this is whats bothering me.I have talked to my dad about it and tonight i emailed her mom,
my oldlady drinks to damn much,I work my ass off to suportare fammily and she gets drunk every damn night.i drink about once a month and when i do ,i realy tie one on, but this girl drinks every day and i hate her for it,and it makes her fat,and i hate that to. we got a 5 year old son that means the world to me ,and i am getting fed up with this chick.i don't know what to do..
she is out drinking rite now.
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i don't know what to do.
I would suggest finding and attending AA and/or AlAnon meetings. The unfortunate part of being an adult child of alcoholics is that, unless we make a huge effort to not do it, we tend to follow the same behavior patterns we grew up in. Is this what you want for your son?
And if not, what are you able to do to prevent it?
I know that text communication is very difficult to hear 'tone of voice' in, so I will state openly that my tone of voice is one of great concern and caring for you, for your current situation and for your son.
I hope you find a way to get yourself and your son out of the situation you are currently in, before your son grows up with exactly the same issues you have right now. I hope you can find the courage and strength to break the cycle.
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i hear you.
it is complicated to just up and split and she is a pretty good mom. i realy wory about her being a looser in later life because of drinking frys your brain,she is not a mean drunk usualy and we are not any a abusive relation ship not phisicaly abusive anyway.
It is just that she is a dumb ass. watches saop operas and doesnet know anything about anything real,like curent events or science of any damn thing. and then when she drinks she is a total ******.
My son is smart but he will suffer being around this dumb ass .
it is complicated to just up and split and she is a pretty good mom. i realy wory about her being a looser in later life because of drinking frys your brain,she is not a mean drunk usualy and we are not any a abusive relation ship not phisicaly abusive anyway.
It is just that she is a dumb ass. watches saop operas and doesnet know anything about anything real,like curent events or science of any damn thing. and then when she drinks she is a total ******.
My son is smart but he will suffer being around this dumb ass .
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she is drunk again
black and tans
sitting out there bla bla bla bla bla, with her drunk friend.
you know and I like to drink sometimes to. but i cannot hang out with these idiots all the time.
i don't like the same songs and the same conversations. i will go nuts out there.I am over it.
black and tans
sitting out there bla bla bla bla bla, with her drunk friend.
you know and I like to drink sometimes to. but i cannot hang out with these idiots all the time.
i don't like the same songs and the same conversations. i will go nuts out there.I am over it.
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great she is out of beer and on to captainmorgan and coke.
there is nothing sexy about a drunk chick with a beer gut double chin no @$$ and love handels..what a shame to waste a nice young girls body like that.in 5 more years this is going to be a whole nother animal.YUCK
i am sober for my son. he thinks the world of me, and i am a good provider and a pretty good dad,as far as i know fathers to be in the real world.god i love that kid.
I am not ready to up and leave this girl,but i got my eyes open for options.
there is nothing sexy about a drunk chick with a beer gut double chin no @$$ and love handels..what a shame to waste a nice young girls body like that.in 5 more years this is going to be a whole nother animal.YUCK
i am sober for my son. he thinks the world of me, and i am a good provider and a pretty good dad,as far as i know fathers to be in the real world.god i love that kid.
I am not ready to up and leave this girl,but i got my eyes open for options.
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Carl, sorry to hear your having to deal with this woman who is drunk all the time. I binge about once a month, too, and sometimes I think I should just stop altogether. I had a man for 10 years who was drunk most evenings-nice guy, but an alcoholic. I finally saw that life with him was just the same every year and never gonna change. He had this band and wanted to be a rock star-well guess what-he never did. We split up years ago and I hear that he just got another DUI...nothing's changed with him. Then there was the guy with clinical depression. Then I got with a crackhead-way worse! he's gone now. Then I read this book, "codependent no more"-by Melody Beattie. It really helped me to see what was going on and what to do. I know it sounds like a lame self-help book, but it is very useful-that's why it's been in print for 20 yrs. It helps a person to deal with being with an alcoholic or drug addict (or over eater, etc.) and to understand the situation and that noone can change the addict, so it's either find ways to live with it (set boundries, don't enable, and live your own life) or leave. I know it's hard in your situation cause you have a kid. Does she realize she has a drinking problem? Would she go to rehab? Could you try an intervention? How long has she been a heavy drinker? Good luck I know it's not easy.
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she has probably been drinking about almost 10 years she is 26 or 27 i dont know exacty. i am 29, i get drunk about once a month to. i need to work on the things i do when i drink more than the not drinking part. but not drinking is something i proably will end up doing.I leave the house when i get drunk usualy late at night and go to bars and bother people and do all sorts of crazy things.I allways start at home drinking , I never buy the beer, she does and calls people over and i start drinking with them.
i dont know what a CCao ccoa aonn ccon ecah haa EXHA AHEOCA whatever you guys are allways abreviating is? but i think sence we are talking relations here,it must be a codependency?
i don't think that is me totaly. One of the big things is i need to have my kid, i can;t have some other guy raising my son. and she hepls him with his home work, she cleans the house, she cooks, i am way to tired and totaly not into doing any of that kind of crap if i don't have to. i would need a maid , a nany , and a prostitue and i ain't got that kind of money.
she pays all teh bills ,to all i have to do is go to work and come home and that is it. i like that, i just dont like her any more.i have been with her 7 years our son is 5.
i have never lived with any one in my life for a solid run as long as i have lived with her. i am talking about anyone mom dad anyone. 7 years is to long. i am over it, and she gets drunk like my mom used to she is gaining weight, i hate that , a drunk fat chick, i work to damn hard to have to deal with this chit! but i am stuck needing to keep us together for our sons sake, she is from 2000 miles from were we live, i know she would want to go back and take the boy with her.
i dont know what a CCao ccoa aonn ccon ecah haa EXHA AHEOCA whatever you guys are allways abreviating is? but i think sence we are talking relations here,it must be a codependency?
i don't think that is me totaly. One of the big things is i need to have my kid, i can;t have some other guy raising my son. and she hepls him with his home work, she cleans the house, she cooks, i am way to tired and totaly not into doing any of that kind of crap if i don't have to. i would need a maid , a nany , and a prostitue and i ain't got that kind of money.
she pays all teh bills ,to all i have to do is go to work and come home and that is it. i like that, i just dont like her any more.i have been with her 7 years our son is 5.
i have never lived with any one in my life for a solid run as long as i have lived with her. i am talking about anyone mom dad anyone. 7 years is to long. i am over it, and she gets drunk like my mom used to she is gaining weight, i hate that , a drunk fat chick, i work to damn hard to have to deal with this chit! but i am stuck needing to keep us together for our sons sake, she is from 2000 miles from were we live, i know she would want to go back and take the boy with her.
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I told her this weekend that she needs to figure out is if she wants to live with me anymore.if she wants to leave i will fight for costody. I don't think i can take care of him by myself but i will try.
i told her i wont live like this the rest of my life. she told me that she will leave if i dont stop treating her like i am her dad and quit telling her what to do.
i told her i wont live like this the rest of my life. she told me that she will leave if i dont stop treating her like i am her dad and quit telling her what to do.
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It's very typical alcoholic behavior to blame other people for the mess they've made of your life. Be emotionally prepared for that should it happen. By threatening to move out, she is shifting the argument from her actions to your actions and painting you to be the bad guy.
I hope, for the sake of your son, that you can find the courage to leave her and make a new life. It won't be easy, but it will be better to have one stable parent than to have parents who are always in conflict and one parent who's an alcoholic.
I always wished my dad would have divorce my mom when he first wanted to. Unfortunately, in those days the father never got custody unless it could be proven that the mother was mentally incapable. In other words, my dad's options were to stay married to her or give up his kids and let mom have us without him there to moderate some behaviors.
Times have changed, and with her alcohol problems and the advancement of father's rights, you have a very good chance of being able to get full physical custody. For your son's sake, I really hope you can do this.
I hope, for the sake of your son, that you can find the courage to leave her and make a new life. It won't be easy, but it will be better to have one stable parent than to have parents who are always in conflict and one parent who's an alcoholic.
I always wished my dad would have divorce my mom when he first wanted to. Unfortunately, in those days the father never got custody unless it could be proven that the mother was mentally incapable. In other words, my dad's options were to stay married to her or give up his kids and let mom have us without him there to moderate some behaviors.
Times have changed, and with her alcohol problems and the advancement of father's rights, you have a very good chance of being able to get full physical custody. For your son's sake, I really hope you can do this.
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"i dont know what a CCao ccoa aonn ccon ecah haa EXHA AHEOCA whatever you guys are allways abreviating is? "
ACOA=adult children of alcoholics.
Al-anon=this is a group for people who have someone in their lives with a drinking problem, they meet weekly just like AA does. Here is something from their website...
Is someone's drinking getting to you?
Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close.
The following questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon:
Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
Do you feel if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
Do you have money problems because of someone else's drinking?
Are plans frequently upset or cancelled or meals delayed because of the drinker?
Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's drinking?
Do you secretly try to smell the drinker's breath?
Do you blame the drinker's behaviour on his or her companions?
Do you search for hidden alcohol?
Do you make threats, such as "If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave you?"
Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker?s behaviour?
Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
Are holidays and gathering spoiled because of drinking?
Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths that you have gone to control the drinker?
Do you even threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
If you answer Yes to three or more of these questions then Al-Anon may be able to help you!
"she told me that she will leave if i dont stop treating her like i am her dad and quit telling her what to do."-my addict used to say that, too. "stop acting like your my mom, I'm grown". I'd tell him if he's grown-then start acting like it.
Maybe you could ask a lawyer about the custody issue. Just in case she does leave-you have to know your rights-guys get screwed a lot of times when it comes to custody and parental rights.
Hope this helps...
ACOA=adult children of alcoholics.
Al-anon=this is a group for people who have someone in their lives with a drinking problem, they meet weekly just like AA does. Here is something from their website...
Is someone's drinking getting to you?
Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close.
The following questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon:
Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
Do you feel if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
Do you have money problems because of someone else's drinking?
Are plans frequently upset or cancelled or meals delayed because of the drinker?
Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's drinking?
Do you secretly try to smell the drinker's breath?
Do you blame the drinker's behaviour on his or her companions?
Do you search for hidden alcohol?
Do you make threats, such as "If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave you?"
Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker?s behaviour?
Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
Are holidays and gathering spoiled because of drinking?
Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths that you have gone to control the drinker?
Do you even threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
If you answer Yes to three or more of these questions then Al-Anon may be able to help you!
"she told me that she will leave if i dont stop treating her like i am her dad and quit telling her what to do."-my addict used to say that, too. "stop acting like your my mom, I'm grown". I'd tell him if he's grown-then start acting like it.
Maybe you could ask a lawyer about the custody issue. Just in case she does leave-you have to know your rights-guys get screwed a lot of times when it comes to custody and parental rights.
Hope this helps...
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i am now talking with a leagal advisor about my rites as a father, and what steps i should take next to secure custody. i am getting my ducks in a row, she does not know what is going on yet, but i want to get my chit together before the chit hits the fan.
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Glad to hear you're looking into your legal rights. If you can document her drinking problem in some legally viable manner, I would also look into that, as that could help you a lot with custody issues.
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Originally Posted by carl250r 
i am now talking with a leagal advisor about my rites as a father, and what steps i should take next to secure custody. i am getting my ducks in a row, she does not know what is going on yet, but i want to get my chit together before the chit hits the fan.
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i caught her cheating on me last night a little after midnight in the front yard, drunk as a skunk.she was giving this A-hole drunk a hand job .
i kicked her out. she was trying to take my son with her and that other looser drunk and going to drive .and i called the cops.they let me keep him. i spent all day at my dads with him.
i told her to got the %$#% out .pack your $#%$ and go. she will not leave yet. and will not talk about it, she seems very ashamed now that she is sober and back to normal. we are going to be sorting everything out soon. there will be changes. we are not a couple anymore.
i have my guts ripped out by this stupid $#%$#.and my fammily turned up side down.
i kicked her out. she was trying to take my son with her and that other looser drunk and going to drive .and i called the cops.they let me keep him. i spent all day at my dads with him.
i told her to got the %$#% out .pack your $#%$ and go. she will not leave yet. and will not talk about it, she seems very ashamed now that she is sober and back to normal. we are going to be sorting everything out soon. there will be changes. we are not a couple anymore.
i have my guts ripped out by this stupid $#%$#.and my fammily turned up side down.
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