Question for recovering alcoholics
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Question for recovering alcoholics
Perhaps someone has has this first hand experience as outlined below?
We know that a non alcoholic living with an active alcoholic can be difficult to say the least. What about say 2 active alcoholics in a romantic relationship living together?
Would the mood swings, irritable nasty hurtful words and behavior from one to the another be a non issue as both are using?
I am trying to imagine a scenario for example the day after heavy drinking when 2 people could be very nasty to those close to them, nemely each other. Is their mutually abrasive behavior tolerated or even accepted as both are addicts?
How is the issue of "enabling" affected? Does the higher functioning alcoholic (one with more income) simply throw money at the other as requested?
Thank you and have a nice weekend.
We know that a non alcoholic living with an active alcoholic can be difficult to say the least. What about say 2 active alcoholics in a romantic relationship living together?
Would the mood swings, irritable nasty hurtful words and behavior from one to the another be a non issue as both are using?
I am trying to imagine a scenario for example the day after heavy drinking when 2 people could be very nasty to those close to them, nemely each other. Is their mutually abrasive behavior tolerated or even accepted as both are addicts?
How is the issue of "enabling" affected? Does the higher functioning alcoholic (one with more income) simply throw money at the other as requested?
Thank you and have a nice weekend.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Ask my Mom and Dad.
Oh, wait, that's right. They're dead.
They both think it's the best thing in the world at first. "Drinking Buddies, with benifits !". But, two people out of work, two people not paying bills, twice the phone calls, twice the arrests......it ain't pretty.
Oh, wait, that's right. They're dead.
They both think it's the best thing in the world at first. "Drinking Buddies, with benifits !". But, two people out of work, two people not paying bills, twice the phone calls, twice the arrests......it ain't pretty.
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
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what you do mean..like my ex-wife, just nag, nag, nag
at me for weeks and we have crazy make up sex wacked out of our mind.
and just go hang out in clubs dancing for a couple of weeks.
You mean like when she tosse my guitar out the window
and I just pick up whatever that belongs to her and break it ?
Then we just sit there at the end of the day all, freanken tired
with a big ass headache..then get drunk again to have make up sex ?
okay so we get bore..cause it's too peacful...she gose out and started
a fight with whoever stairs at me and actaully wacks me in head
for getting between her and the other woman. Then we just fiight
again then get drunk or whatever. As mad as I'll be at her...I actaully
roll a joint for her.
Everyonce in a while she'll say " honey i think you have a problem,
Oh btw, can you run down to the store and get some more 151, salt
and tequila cuz we have friends coming over tonight. Maybe you
should just drink beer tonight, babe".lol
You mean..she asked me out 6 hours after i got out jail...
Destiny...destiny.lol
It makes it easier to enable becuase it feeds you own disease
or dysfunction...but rapid wrackage. It lasted for 2 years.
I think..I moved funiture or bought new once at lest 5 times.
each time I have to get more numb...i actaully started drinking
the 151 striaght at the end of the relationship...that was her favorite.
Infidility on both side at the very least...for the soul hurting stuff.
you get more numb and numb to try to stop the pain hope you
get over it...but you don't ..then all hell breaks loose again.
at me for weeks and we have crazy make up sex wacked out of our mind.
and just go hang out in clubs dancing for a couple of weeks.
You mean like when she tosse my guitar out the window
and I just pick up whatever that belongs to her and break it ?
Then we just sit there at the end of the day all, freanken tired
with a big ass headache..then get drunk again to have make up sex ?
okay so we get bore..cause it's too peacful...she gose out and started
a fight with whoever stairs at me and actaully wacks me in head
for getting between her and the other woman. Then we just fiight
again then get drunk or whatever. As mad as I'll be at her...I actaully
roll a joint for her.
Everyonce in a while she'll say " honey i think you have a problem,
Oh btw, can you run down to the store and get some more 151, salt
and tequila cuz we have friends coming over tonight. Maybe you
should just drink beer tonight, babe".lol
You mean..she asked me out 6 hours after i got out jail...
Destiny...destiny.lol
It makes it easier to enable becuase it feeds you own disease
or dysfunction...but rapid wrackage. It lasted for 2 years.
I think..I moved funiture or bought new once at lest 5 times.
each time I have to get more numb...i actaully started drinking
the 151 striaght at the end of the relationship...that was her favorite.
Infidility on both side at the very least...for the soul hurting stuff.
you get more numb and numb to try to stop the pain hope you
get over it...but you don't ..then all hell breaks loose again.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I wouldn't call it a romantic relationship, but a sexual one. In my case, AH has hooked up with someone who drinks - more than he does according to him. When both drink I would imagine it makes it easier to keep your own addiction going. Can't say I imagine a whole lot of love going on.
OMG am I glad to be out of the madness!
OMG am I glad to be out of the madness!
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by steve11694 
... Perhaps someone has has this first hand experience as outlined below?... What about say 2 active alcoholics in a romantic relationship living together?...
Can I ask why you ask? Are there any _specific_ people you have in mind with this question. I might be able to contribute answers that are more relevant to your situation if you make it less general.
My memory is not the best, but I seem to recall that you asked a similar question about your wife not too long ago. Forgive me if I am wrong about that.
Mike
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
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I'm a recovering alcoholic who when practising lived with an alcoholic/addict. It was insanity. It was confusing. It was toxic. It was immature. Two terrified overgrown children trying to control the other...hurt first, leave first, control first. Not fun. Alternatively, there were some fun drunks...but the price was my soul and sanity.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Some of us would go to a bar on sat night for a drink, one sat a couple came in, evidently had already drank way too much, pretty soon they were calling each other names, he hated her, wish he had never ever meet her, she ruined his life, she told him all the same back, he runed her life. They mentioned killing each other.
We left, they were still at it, repeating and repeating.
About 2 weeks later, here they come, again had way too much, this time they were madly in love, could not live without each other, repeated over and over how much in love, how lucky, how happy, etc. etc.
I thought of that years later when taking courses to be a Dand A counselor.
They might have both been in blackouts each time? Or if not probably just got up in AM and too sick to think and just got through the day.
There was prob no "You said" arguments at all. Just a lost day or night or weekend.
Who knows?? Just shows love and hate the same coin. Or love and hate had nothing to do with it, only wanted the next drink and all was just drunk talk.
So extremely sad.
We left, they were still at it, repeating and repeating.
About 2 weeks later, here they come, again had way too much, this time they were madly in love, could not live without each other, repeated over and over how much in love, how lucky, how happy, etc. etc.
I thought of that years later when taking courses to be a Dand A counselor.
They might have both been in blackouts each time? Or if not probably just got up in AM and too sick to think and just got through the day.
There was prob no "You said" arguments at all. Just a lost day or night or weekend.
Who knows?? Just shows love and hate the same coin. Or love and hate had nothing to do with it, only wanted the next drink and all was just drunk talk.
So extremely sad.
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