good things to come...
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
good things to come...
I was thinking about an earlier thread where someone told me to stop making a list for my AH when I left and instead to make a list for me....which typical codie I didn't do.
But, I was sitting here and realized it is almost midnight and I'm up and on the computer and doing exactly what I want at this moment--hanging out with you guys!
Well, it dawns on me that is a good thing. And something I never could have done with my AH because he was controlling and wanted me in bed with him at 10:00.
So I'm starting a new list...right now...of all the things I can do without him that I never could do with him....like be on the computer WHENEVER I WANT TO!!!
Share away...I'd love to hear what's on your lists!
But, I was sitting here and realized it is almost midnight and I'm up and on the computer and doing exactly what I want at this moment--hanging out with you guys!
Well, it dawns on me that is a good thing. And something I never could have done with my AH because he was controlling and wanted me in bed with him at 10:00.
So I'm starting a new list...right now...of all the things I can do without him that I never could do with him....like be on the computer WHENEVER I WANT TO!!!
Share away...I'd love to hear what's on your lists!
...this is fun!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Chero, I am so thankful you are safe and it is wonderful to hear that you are beginning to realize how much freedom to be yourself awaits you in a life without your AH. Someone who is ordering you to go to bed at a certain hour and ordering you when to get up is downright scarey - and dangerously abusive.
I lucked out in getting an indifferent, lazy AH for the most part. I enjoy staying up until the wee hours of the morning watching whatever I desire on t.v. Yes, the remote is MINE! I eat meals when I feel like it. I come and go as I please. The only thing that will make all my dreams come true will be having my own apartment so I can close the door and never, ever again have to be exposed to a slobbering drunk!
I am so thrilled that you have taken this step. No, we won't get tired of you. Post away!!!
I lucked out in getting an indifferent, lazy AH for the most part. I enjoy staying up until the wee hours of the morning watching whatever I desire on t.v. Yes, the remote is MINE! I eat meals when I feel like it. I come and go as I please. The only thing that will make all my dreams come true will be having my own apartment so I can close the door and never, ever again have to be exposed to a slobbering drunk!
I am so thrilled that you have taken this step. No, we won't get tired of you. Post away!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Chero, we are 'sistas" in this. The timing just about the same,,
I don't have a list. I just live each day in peace and look to the "adventure" of the freedom!!!
Its pretty damn cool huh?
Stay STRONG
Peace
I don't have a list. I just live each day in peace and look to the "adventure" of the freedom!!!
Its pretty damn cool huh?
Stay STRONG
Peace
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
OMG! It's so great!!
I woke up at 9:00 and for a minute my heart skipped a beat and then I realized...I don't HAVE to get up.
I can't remember the last time I slept this late!! So I just layed there for a few and then I finally WANTED to get up and tell you guys!!
I have no idea what today holds, but I'm choosing to be happy today...or at least for the moment!
FREEDOM could go to my head...and maybe trickle down to my heart!!
I woke up at 9:00 and for a minute my heart skipped a beat and then I realized...I don't HAVE to get up.
I can't remember the last time I slept this late!! So I just layed there for a few and then I finally WANTED to get up and tell you guys!!
I have no idea what today holds, but I'm choosing to be happy today...or at least for the moment!
FREEDOM could go to my head...and maybe trickle down to my heart!!
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by chero 
all the things I can do without him that I never could do with him....like be on the computer WHENEVER I WANT TO!!!!
Other things-let me see...
Being able to watch what I want to on tv when I want to and have the stupid thing off when I don't. It used to be on 24/7.
Having music playing as loud as I want to whenever I want to; singing in the car.
Planting flowers and knowing that he isn't going to rip them up in a few weeks because they are in his way or he doesn't like them.
Reading in bed as late as I want to.
Mostly-just knowing that I don't have to try to anticipate what he is feeling or not feeling or doing or not doing. Not being blamed for his terrible life. This is the biggest change for me without him around, and it rocks!!
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
Originally Posted by loveRoy
Chero, I had an email from my AH. Guess what I did? Hit DELETE. Go me!
I had a missed call from my AH and why oh why I called back is beyond me!?!?!
He said, in a druken voice, "I didn't call you. I wouldn't want to ruin the GREAT time you're having."
He was awful and I hung up in tears!!! I'm struggling with the no contact thing.
But, deep breath! I'm regrouping and I'm off to have a good evening...keeping my fingers crossed for that one!!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Ya know chero, I don't have a list anymore of the things that I want to do that I couldn't do with my A but I remember having one of those! And yes, they are super! They helped me so much with having something to do - goals to reach that made me proud and happy for myself and my kids, etc. It was so fun to get out there and enjoy MY life again!!!!!!!
I was just thinking yesterday though about all the things that I've done since my A and I have seperated & divorced. I struggled really bad with the whole no contact and the letting go and I even put myself back in the hell pit for awhile. But you know, I've really had some great times and experienced some great moments in the past few years that I'd never had the chance to do if I'd stayed with my XAH. I used to get so jealous and angry when I'd hear that my XAH had went and done this or that. Today, I know no longer get angry about that. I'm having a great life now too - and in truth, I think my life is better and happier than his is. I don't believe that A's are really happy even though they like us to believe they are.
Keep on enjoying and living your life chero!
I was just thinking yesterday though about all the things that I've done since my A and I have seperated & divorced. I struggled really bad with the whole no contact and the letting go and I even put myself back in the hell pit for awhile. But you know, I've really had some great times and experienced some great moments in the past few years that I'd never had the chance to do if I'd stayed with my XAH. I used to get so jealous and angry when I'd hear that my XAH had went and done this or that. Today, I know no longer get angry about that. I'm having a great life now too - and in truth, I think my life is better and happier than his is. I don't believe that A's are really happy even though they like us to believe they are.
Keep on enjoying and living your life chero!
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