washbe2

For those of you who may remember my last post, my son had begun working with a doctor who was helping him very much. For the first time in years, I saw a change in AS. I was seeing a much happier son with a little hope for himself after being homeless for three years. To keep this as brief as possible, I'm just going to hit the high points with bullets.

Son worked with doctor for two months while staying in an extended stay place.

Doctor encouraged him to come back to homestate to begin process of disability and medicaid due to hep c

He stayed at my home which went well. He and my husband were interactive and he made a new friend from next door who is a great guy

After much thought (and I know many of you will disagree with this), I decided to support his new efforts by providing a place of sorts to live and a mode of transportation.

Purchased a travel trailer (not new, but nice) and found an RV park half way between doctor and me so he could continue to work with doctor.

Purchased a motorcyle (again now new, but nice).

I've never seen anyone so very proud of these two things. He appreciated it so much and pampered them both.

I told husband two weeks ago that all of this could blow any minute, but I would at least know that I saw him happy for a few days before it did, and he would always have somewhere to live that could be hauled wherever he is.

Thirty minutes later the dreaded phone call. Son called saying bad accident. Meet him at hospital. He never lost consciousness and wanted to be the one to call me so I wouldn't worry. (yeah, right)

It wasn't his fault. This time No alcohol or drugs. Woman never saw him, crossed in front of him. He t-boned into the passenger side of her car. This time he wasn't the one with suspended license, but the other driver.

He had to be air-lifted to hospital. I went numb. That was two weeks ago.

Son is still in hospital with one broken leg with two rods and cast, the other leg with over twenty breaks in it and a powdered knee. Leg is in contraption that is indescribable. Left shoulder is broken in 5 places and also held together with wires, screws, etc. Right arm is broken but fortunately it is below the elbow. Also a very large wound on hip.

Lots of pain, and lots of painkillers, too. Yeah, I know. He will be transferred to a nursing home within the next few days for a few months (hopefully).

Little sleep, lots of tears. Son is so hard-headed and believes he will be "well" much sooner and do what the doctor now says not to do, such as try to stand. WE have fought and fought and his now bearing any weight on any extremity. No use.

Then one day last week, a "man" walked into the room, came to me, shook my hand and asked how I was. Then he went to my son's bed and started to pat his leg. I yelled for him to not tough him and asked who he was. Son asked who he was, and he replied, "someone you wouldn't know". It was his father, my ex I was married to for 23 years. It has been ten years since I'd seen him. I had no clue who he was.
He has been absent in both sons lives for about 12 years. Quite a shock to us.

Son is sleep deprived and prbably suffering post traumatic shock along with the pain.
In the recovery room, he was whispering something to me. I couldn't understand, so he spelled out letters with finger and whispered, ...r.....r...y. I still didn't get it. He whispered sssss. "sorry".

Lots to come. Who knows the reason? I told him that God didn't let him survive so many different circumstances to not have a plan for him. I know his life won't be long and can already see swelling in belly area from the hep c. The pain meds don't help that either. But the pain is real, so he must have them. A nurse even cried when she told me how much pain he would be in, especially from the worst leg.

So if you are a praying person, will you try to remember my son's recovery (this time physical). We all long to see our children healthy, happy, and drug free and have many requests. So for now, I ask God to protect all of our children, help them to be stable, healthy and strong enough to resist drugs and alcohol. Comfort the parents of all of the children, no matter the age. Help us all to trust you no matter what.

Washbe
p.s. This is so long, but there was just so much that is new to me.

Hurtbad2505

I am soooo sorry to hear this, I don't think we've 'spoken', but I can feel your pain for your son...my AS didn't have injuries as bad as this, but he was air-lifted with a broken femur from being hit by a dui driver with a broke (amazingly not AS's 'fault' either) and remember the agony he was in, I can't imagine the pain your S is in from all those breaks..
**{I told him that God didn't let him survive so many different circumstances to not have a plan for him.}} I've told my AS the same exact thing many times, esp. when he was deep into using and was wondering if what he had made of his life was worth fighting for...I believe it too..

One question if you don't mind, I always thought that Hep C was treatable and I know that AS has worried about having it. His AGF (who he regularly shared needles with has been tested and doesn't have it, AS hasn't been tested but assumes if she doesn't have it he doesn't either?) What is the prognosis once being diagnosed with it?

mooselips

(((Washbe))))
I'm so glad you came back with an update. And considering the circumstances your son now faces, it IS a positive update. I am overjoyed at the aspect of him being sober, and working alongside the Dr.

Now a days, medical science is awesome, my husband for example needed a new knee, and received a brand spanking new one, it has been a long recovery, but he's doing so well, he's decided to have his other knee done this Monday. Years ago, when people were in accidents, they died, now medicine can do amazing things.

Also, I believe you made the right decision helping your son. I know I have told both of my son's Mr.Moose and I will help them as much as we can if they are dedicated to recovery.

Hugs to you, Washbe, and
prayers for your son for a fast, and total recovery.

I've missed you,

Elana

I will pray for him. It sounds like he is on the right track.. it really does. He will get better. It will take time. His pushing it may be bad.. but maybe not so. He is trying.. testing the limits of his physical recovery.

Praying for you all.

hope213

my heart goes out to you.i am so sorry this about this. know that we here & know that i care. i am sending a special pray for you & your son.hugs,hope

Ann

Washbe, your post brought tears to my eyes, happy tears because he is clean and on a good path and sad tears for the accident and his pain.

I agree that God has special plans for your son, and let's both remember God is the great healer. Your son is in my prayers each night.

Thanks for sharing this part of his journey, we've walked together a long time and your son is very special to me.

Hugs and Love

Lobo

((((Washbe))) Don't know if we met. So sorry for all that your family is going through right now. I will pray for your son and for you to find comfort in all of this.
My AD survived a terrible accident in November when her abf threw her out of his car. She did'nt remember anything until after brain surgery. God was watching over her. She did'nt have any ID on her, but she was conscious enough to give the hospital my phone numbers. She told me she doesn't even remember doing that.
I also feel like God has a plan for her to have survived some of the terrible things that she has survived. God has a plan for your son too.
Blessings.............Lo

Louise54

I really feel for you. I pray for you and your son. What a horrible experience. Things can only get better from here. I'll say an extra prayer for you tonite. Hugs.

dollydo

So sorry to hear this, my prayers are with you both.

outonalimb

My prayers go out for a speedy recovery for your son.

As hard as it is to understand, I believe your HP is at work in all of this...somehow...someway. Keep the faith, washbe...and take care of yourself through all of this.

helpus

(((Washbe))) ((((((((((Washbe's son)))))))) Oh, I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. I beieve God has a bigger plan for him, a purpose that someday will make sense out of this tradgety. Please tell your son just how many fans he has here. How inspireing he is to us after being homless. That he gives hope to those of us with active addicts. Give him a huge hug &let him know we love him. Will keep you both in my prayers.

marle

(((Washbe))) I am so sorry that this happened to your son. I will keep you both in my prayers. Here is prayers for a speedy recovery. He can survive this and be a stronger person. Hugs, Marle

rozied

Dear Washbe, I have not had the pleasure of meeting you yet but my heart goes out to you & your family. I will keep you all in my prayers. Sounds like we both had a blast from the past here. My ex called me last wk after 27+yrs. Botom line it was himself he is concerned about. Wanted to know if we had been married 10 yrs as he cannot collect social security under his name as he is short quarters but if we had been married 10 yrs he can collect under mine. He told me it would not hurt me in anyway. ( like I really believe him )
I hope & pray your son recovers as quickly as is possible.
Love,
Diane

patchoulli

As horrible as this accident was, you say that you set him up with a life that he loved because you wanted the happiness of watching. You got that plus...He's alive, it sounds like you guys are building a nice open relationship, I said a prayer for your son that he recuperates quickly and for your peace of mind...

abtchonamission

((((((Wash)))))))

Prayers for your son's recovery's - from this accident, and his continued addiction recovery.

teke

I'M SO sorry to hear about your son's accident and about the many injuries, but i'm glad that he is sober. i pray that god will heal his body and he will continue in his recovery. keeping all of you in my prayers

notsleepingwell

((((Washbe)))))

Prayers for you and your son.

parentrecovers

prayers, washbe. k

greeteachday

You and your son are in my prayers. I think you did a wonderful thing helping him and i too believe there is a reason. I rarely know the reason at the time and often never, but I do know that what i have experienced as the worst things imaginable have always in time brought me to a stronger, more spiritual place and helped me on the journey to become the person I want to be. I pray that is the case for your son as well. Hugs, I'm so sorry you have had to expereince this but rejoice in the special time you have had with your son.

Sunflower

boy it never rains it pours!!! right when he was finally doing so well--makes you wonder.there has to be a reason for this.seeing his father after all these years-physical pain-so many injuries--just when he was healing!
I am so so so sorry for you and for him...he can come out the other side of this--I have seen it as a nurse. Believe it.Stay positive--what he said to you in the ER speaks volumes-
I think you did everything right for him the Doctor was the right way for him to go--and helping your son set up for a new life is nothing to be ashamed of at all. He needed help--most parents wouldn't do it for their kids.
You are a beautiful Mother.
Just another set back--he will come through this even stronger.
Praying for you.........