Louise54

Well, the worst has come true. My as has been out of the house for almost 3 months now. He's living with a friend and his dad. He was withdrawing at the friend's house and has just gotten a new job waiting tables. The same thing has happened at his friend's house that happened at our home. The friend told my daughter online that my as is about to get thrown out of his house now. Says he's been working alot and never has any money. Same scenario as all the other times. I somehow I new this was going to happen again.

Friend wanted my daughter to talk to my as. She told him that we've been doing that for over 2 years now and that is why he is no longer welcome in our house. Looks like my as is going to wind up on the streets again. Maybe they'll drive him to a shelter or something. Feeling very sad. Was hoping just being out of our house was enough, even though I deep down new, that as soon as he'd have money in his pocket it would be the same thing all over again, just in someone else's home.

rozied

I just posted about my AS to " Found His Needles " I can relate 100% to your post. I don't have time to type a new post to you but if you would like you can read the post to found his needles.
I am so very sorry you are going through this.
My thoughts & prayers are with you & your son,
Love,
Diane

marle

He is going to do what he is going to do no matter where he is living. Shows you that it is not you. I am sorry that you are feeling the pain. May be best for you and your daughter to tell your son's friend that you no longer welcome the updates. That way you are not living the chaos. The best thing my AD did for me was to move to a different city. Don't have to see her or hear about her from others. Really helps me a lot to let go. Hugs, Marle

rahsue

I'm so sorry your feeling down in the dumps, I hope your life and your sons can soon be on the right track

I'll be thinking and praying for you all

teke

i'm so sorry, i agree with marle, he's gonna do what he does with or without you, its not your fault to fix. i had to request no updates to, concerning my ah. i know its not the same but i do have kids and i know what its like to have to worry about them. hopefully he's one less home close to recovery, sometimes it does get worse before it gets better, and what we think should be their bottom is not always their bottom. just hang in there and keep focusing on you, if you can. turn him over to his hp and believe that he will potect and guide him to the place where he is suppose to be. still praying for ya

Lobo

((Louise54))
It hurts, I know. You just wonder how many more relapses we have left in us as well as these people we love more than life. They are very resourceful people and he will find a way. Up until last night I didn't know where my AD was. She managed to hook up with a friend who is a hairdresser. How lucky for her just when she needs a highlight and trim. She said her friend was going to do her hair. Sometimes I just have to shake my head in disbelief. I find myself thanking God for providing for her since she cannot provide for herself. It reminds me of the time when my son was in the gulf war. He was living in a fox hole and his platoon needed things like toothpaste, toothbrushes, deoderant,TP, all of our daily needs. I prayed and prayed for God to supply. One day when they were hiking back to there camp there was a huge box, right in the middle of the desert. Yep........all of the things he needed.
It was probably and air drop. I pray that our kids are somehow provided the necessary things that they need.................Lo

tryin2bstrong

So sorry you are going through this. I can completely relate as I go through this with my AS. No matter how many times it happens, it still makes us hurt. Stay strong and remember that he has chosen this. I will pray for him and hope that his HP will keep him safe.

cinderellawkids

Im sorry MIL and I had the same conversation yesterday about AH and BIL we expect them to be living under a bridge before long, but sadly only they can change this its all caused by there choices. Your son like all the others haas to get beyond desparation before eh can start moving forward

Sunflower

So much pain....I am so sorry for you...I have said this before and I will say it again--my grandmother always said the Angels watch over them when they are lost....Praying for you and him/others like him..that God will provide for them.....

bookmiser

I understand your pain, Louise. I really and truly do.
I agree with Marle. You don't need to hear about what is happening
in his world. Too painful. You need to stay focused on you.
Your strength and ability to let go of him and allow him to fall.
Once he experiences the pain and suffering, so badly, that he just can't take anymore...he'll want to get well. Keep praying for that day.
Don't put yourself through this worry. Try to stay focused on the fact that the more you, and anyone else who really cares about him, don't do for him, the more apt he is to hit rock bottom sooner. I'm praying for it.
Have you read Codependent, No More?
Take care of You.
All said with love and understanding.

hope213

some times they just want learn. i am sorry he has done this again. take care of yourself & give him to your H.P. hugs,hope

Nina Kay

I'm sorry to hear this Louise. I do know how sad and scared you feel. I've just been going through this with my son too. Mine was gone for 3 months and then new charges were filed against him having to do with things going on where he was living and it caused him to be arrested and got out on PR bonds and is staying with someone else now and hiding from the law. Everywhere he goes it's only temporary until he does something to get driven out again. It's all just so so sad, but I have to believe that my God is taking care of my son and He's taking care of yours too, when you ask Him to. I agree with what others have said about it may be getting your son closer to his bottom, when he'll decide to go for recovery with all he's got. Keep your chin up and your mind busy with positive recovery things for you. The ball really is in your son's court. It's not your game.
(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Louise54

It is true the updates are disturbing. I was pretty certain that living with his friend wasn't his bottom, but was hoping it was. A couple of weeks ago this friend of his emailed my daughter to tell her that my as told him that a co-worker sells drugs and his friend said to him that if he catches him using again he'll kick his a---- and the co-workers too. When we received that email, I knew it was downhill.

Thanks for all of your support and prayers.

parentrecovers

oh louise, i wish i could say something to make you feel better. these stories are so difficult. i hope this will be the motivation your son needs to seek help and find recovery. blesssings, k

BigSis

(((Louise))) When my kid got kicked out of our home, she went to live with a friend (I was secretly relieved). Then she got kicked out of THEIR home (in a nasty, awful fight ...sigh), and I was afraid.

What happened was she only had 2 choices - a rehab or a shelter. She chose a rehab.... it wasn't her LAST time, but it was near the end.

Losing the "soft landing" of a friend's house, after losing the 'soft landing' of OUR house limited her options. She went down further and faster... exactly as she needed to in order to find a place where she could discover recovery.

(((hugs))))


During these very difficult times, the less I knew, the better I felt. She was on a path no matter WHAT I knew or did.... not knowing was better for me.

(((Louise)))

Louise54

I know I'm a glutton for punishment. Friend today told my daughter that he didn't mean to imply that my as is back on drugs. He said he just thinks he's spending too much money and is acting different. Weird. Think he's covering up for him all of a sudden. Swears to my daughter that he's been clean. Something sounds fishy.

historyteach

((((Louise))))

I know how much it hurts.
Treat yourself to an extra meeting and something nice for you. It's almost time for hot fudge sundays!
In short, be good to yourself right now...

Shalom!

Wascally Wabbit

Oh Louise, I have been exactly where you are. My son is even a waiter!
He was comepletely homeless for over a year. Sleeping in peoples yards, and at local junkies houses when the'd let him.
To make a long journey short, he just checked his own self into a 2 month rehab.
I praise God for it. Some day he will come around.
The suffering of mothers is like nothing else.
Try not to be too sad for too long. Think of it as a lesson both our sons must learn. When they are tired of doing the same thing over and over with the same results, they will change.
Take care Louise.