kglast

Sundays are tough days....my XAF and I used to go to church, grocery shopping, etc....it was one of our best and favorite days together. Everything, everywhere I look is reminding me of him today...(every day really). I am finding it very hard not to pick up the phone today. We haven't spoken since Tuesday and haven't seen eachother in 2 weeks. I keep wondering how he is doing - it is tormenting me. I am keeping busy but it doesn't help all of the time. Just feeling very sad and missing him very much today....

crayzee

I know how that feels. It is really hard, so (((hugs))) to you. The best advice I have is to just keep on staying busy, and do things that are good and nurturing for YOU. The more you focus on yourself, and what makes you happy, the less you will be thinking about him.

lilac

(((Hugs)))) Make a new tradition for yourself on Sundays ! Do something for YOU ~
I know it is hard.

loveRoy

Kglast. I too know the hurt. Sometimes when I let my mind reminisce, I believe the recollections are skewed. Does that make any sense? When I start going down that path I try to quickly have a reality check. All I have to do is look at my daughters and see their pain and hurt. The first Sunday I attended church by myself was not easy but I did it. Then I took myself to lunch and I survived. Stay strong. Keep reading and keep posting.

newenglandgirl

I hear you sweetie...it's really hard to make the change to being single. And missing the things that were good.

Try to remember that even though there was good things/times, they're not good enough to make up for the bad things and all the turmoil that alcoholism brings into our lives.

In the first weeks and months, after I left my AH, I thought about him constantly. I worried constantly. It was hard to get my mind off of him and what had happened. I don't have a magic remedy...all I can tell you is that I just went through the motions until, little by little, thoughts of him didn't dominate. I took the advice of loved ones that I should keep busy (which you're doing) and make sure to exercise. It did help. And I let myself, also, lie in bed and watch silly t.v. shows to get my mind off the pain. Of course, SR too.

The sadness to be expected. It's a terrible loss. And all you can do is experience the feelings...and go through the motions...

Chapter 13 ("feeling our feelings") in Codependent No More helps me remember how to deal with my feelings..."we need to invite emotions into our lives. Then make a commitment to take gentle, loving care of them. Feel our feelings. Trust our feelings and trust ourselves. We are wiser than we think."

ICU

Not much else to add (((Kglast))) except: I'm sorry you are in pain right now; I totally understand how that feels; and, to offer you hope that 'This Too Will Pass'!!

MsGolightly

hi kg - i'm very familiar with how you feel too! there are days when every song on the radio reminds me of my ex and i just need to drive in silence. do something that will occupy your mind... go buy some new books, head to blockbuster and rent the latest movies, cook a dish you've never had time to make before... it will all get easier - the beginning is the worst part.

havehopetoday

It's tough...what's helped me in the past was doing things I absolutely loved to do but didn't when I was with him because the world and our schedule revolved around him. I rented TV show series, read books (really good relief as they force you to concentrate), joined a gym, exercised, went shopping. I still keep in contact with him over the phone only when he calls- which maybe is wrong, but its on my terms and brief at best.