California, prop 36??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 3
California, prop 36??
Has anyone had experience with this? Short version ABF had completed prop 36 treatment about 8 months ago; didn't continue his program. He started using and was arrested last week for being under the influence and posession of controlled substance (vicodin). His parole agent is not violating him and is recommending prop 36. He has other felonies in his past, nothing violent and no strikes. I honestly don't know what I'm asking, it's been a very up and down week. He goes to court tomorrow and we should know more and from others I've spoken too it seems likely he will get another shot at treatment, it's just the not knowing that is driving me insane.
If he goes back to jail then those are his consequences and I'll have to deal with it. I am making sure I am protected and putting myself first, not curling up in ball luckily. Again I don't know what I'm asking, maybe just some encouraging words.
Thanks for listening, I may post more later.
If he goes back to jail then those are his consequences and I'll have to deal with it. I am making sure I am protected and putting myself first, not curling up in ball luckily. Again I don't know what I'm asking, maybe just some encouraging words.
Thanks for listening, I may post more later.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
hey dlynn - not familiar with what you are referring you. i just wanted to welcome you. i have a daughter who is an alcoholic and addict. so i understand. you going to alanon or naranon meetings? alanon really helps me. keep posting! k
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
in alanon, we talk about the 3 c's - we (the friend or family member) didn't cause the disease. we can't cure it. and we cannot control. there's also a 4th c - and it's about choices. we have a choice as to how we allow the addiction to affect our lives.
as far as legal woes - your boyfriend has not invented anything. my daughter has charges, all stemming from drinking and using. i know that, until she recovers, she will continue to be in trouble - it's just how she does it. recovery first - for YOU and your boyfriend if he is willing to make that choice. the legal stuff - it works out the way it works out.
try a handful of meetings, they suggest different groups at first - until you find the one that best suits you. i know alanon has saved me many times in my struggles. so i'm a big promoter!
k
as far as legal woes - your boyfriend has not invented anything. my daughter has charges, all stemming from drinking and using. i know that, until she recovers, she will continue to be in trouble - it's just how she does it. recovery first - for YOU and your boyfriend if he is willing to make that choice. the legal stuff - it works out the way it works out.
try a handful of meetings, they suggest different groups at first - until you find the one that best suits you. i know alanon has saved me many times in my struggles. so i'm a big promoter!
k
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to S.R..i am glad you are here even tho i can not answer your question i can give you lots of encouragement.to start off with you are not alone.read all the sticky at the top of the page & all the post here.we are always here. please keep coming back.there is alot of info here.prayers that things go in court as they should.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
welcome to sr, i don't have anything to advice concerning your bf and his legal issues, but i do think maybe if the not knowing is driving you insane, maybe its time for you to try to focus on something else that will help to keep your mind occupied. time will tell you what you need to know. whether you know or not is not changing what is, sorry don't mean to be harsh, i just care, i've worried so much about my husband going to jail or not, and it only made me sick.
like the others said, meetings are good in helping you to learn to focus more on you and allow your addict to suffer the consequences of his own actions, no need for you to have to suffer them with him. i'll keep you and him in my prayers
like the others said, meetings are good in helping you to learn to focus more on you and allow your addict to suffer the consequences of his own actions, no need for you to have to suffer them with him. i'll keep you and him in my prayers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 3
Thanks to all who responded (prop 36)
Re: prop 36 question
It's been up and down the last several days. BF got out of jail friday night, got prop 36 (treatment instead of jail) which is exactly what he needs. He knows it is up to him and I have made my intentions clear. I will support as long as he is doing what he needs to do and I will do what is necessary for me. I didn't fall apart (proud of myself) but was calm and firm. We've seen his parents who asked him pointed questions and he answered them unflinchingly. He has reconnected with sober friends and attended 2 meetings, going to another tonight. He got in contact with an old sober friend with 8 years and asked him to be his sponsor and help him work his steps.
He has a long lifetime of work ahead of him and I know it has just begun. I am happy at the outcome but also hesitant to put much into it just yet. He will be required to attend meetings, classes, and counseling. I've suggested that we also attend counseling together and told him to expect some anger, sadness and some mistrust from me. I tend to have delayed reactions to things and waiting for the court outcome was taking all of my energy, now I can focus on the future.
I have agreed for the moment to let him remain living here unless he's using, lying or I feel it is not good for his sobriety or our relationship. This is not the first time he's tried to get clean, maybe the 10th in the 20 years we've known each other. It seems everytime he comes a little farther and this last time the counseling sessions really helped.
So again, I didn't mean to make this so long and I'm so happy to have found a place to discuss. Wishing you all the best!
It's been up and down the last several days. BF got out of jail friday night, got prop 36 (treatment instead of jail) which is exactly what he needs. He knows it is up to him and I have made my intentions clear. I will support as long as he is doing what he needs to do and I will do what is necessary for me. I didn't fall apart (proud of myself) but was calm and firm. We've seen his parents who asked him pointed questions and he answered them unflinchingly. He has reconnected with sober friends and attended 2 meetings, going to another tonight. He got in contact with an old sober friend with 8 years and asked him to be his sponsor and help him work his steps.
He has a long lifetime of work ahead of him and I know it has just begun. I am happy at the outcome but also hesitant to put much into it just yet. He will be required to attend meetings, classes, and counseling. I've suggested that we also attend counseling together and told him to expect some anger, sadness and some mistrust from me. I tend to have delayed reactions to things and waiting for the court outcome was taking all of my energy, now I can focus on the future.
I have agreed for the moment to let him remain living here unless he's using, lying or I feel it is not good for his sobriety or our relationship. This is not the first time he's tried to get clean, maybe the 10th in the 20 years we've known each other. It seems everytime he comes a little farther and this last time the counseling sessions really helped.
So again, I didn't mean to make this so long and I'm so happy to have found a place to discuss. Wishing you all the best!
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