jennchip

Please help me understand. I am currently going through a divorce with my alcohol and drug addict husband. I still love him and wish we could make it work, but he is so unpredictable and I don't truly know if he is in active addiction. He tells me nothing.

We have a 5 year old and a 3 year old who love thier daddy so much.

The problem is...he tells me one day that he is going to change, but then I talk to him the next day and he is mean and distant. He keeps making empty promises.

From his standpoint, I have detached myself. We only talk when it is something important about the kids. I have continued to do everything that I tell him that I am doing (divorce, moving on, etc.).

From my standpoint, I am dying inside.

Sometimes I wonder if he may have some type of depressive disorder. He seems to be on a rollercoaster. Or is this the life of an addict?

shockozulu

Depressive disorders are complicated to diagnois in those abusing drugs and alcohol. The symptoms are similar. My answer is from what I've seen and read in literature: It could be both but you won't know until he gets clean.

teke

i agree with alera, i was seriously depressed while i was in active addiction and it didn't began to let up until i got seriously working a program of recovery, today i don't live a depressed life, i choose to work on the issues that causes my depression. keeping you and yours in my prayers

marle

Drugs will cause depression or depression can cause one to seek relief with drugs. Either way he needs to get clean and then get a diagnosis. Self-medicating is very common with addicts. Take care of you and continue doing what is in your and your children's best interests. Feeling sorry for him won't help him to get the help he needs. And you probably know that a lot of times feeling sympathy for your addict just makes it that much harder for you to detach. Hugs, Marle

nogard

He probably believes what he is telling you at the time, thats how the disease gets us completely ******

Kevin