Elana

This morning, for the first time in years, (Honest!!!) I took a look at some guys at an online dating site. I am not a member and as I read thru the profiles I thought to myself that this really was a dangerous way to meet anyone. I got to thinking.. what sort of guy would post a photo on an online dating site anyhow?

I was about to click off and there was the photo of a guy I know.. I used to work with him.. and he is a convicted LEVEL 2 SEX OFFENDER.. Pedophilia (child Porn)...

My Gosh! Sure made me stop and think.. and gave me such a creepy feeling. How many OTHER guys there were like this guy? How many of them are predators? How many are lying about their marital status (I have heard a large % are married)? How many are just lying PERIOD!

Cured me of on line dating sites! LOL
You really just never know.. this is a computer and it allows so much false interplay between people.

I was always one to think that most people are honest (and I think most still are tho the %tage may be changing). However, I think there are some venues that attract more people who are NOT so honest and I think on line dating sites are one of those places.

Just a thought and a caution.

dollydo

Couldn't agree more...also read where some of the posts are done indirectly through a friend, and, the actual "wonderful man" is in prison...that is how some link up with woman outside, and start convincing them of how they were wronged....and "Can you send money?"

teke

i agree with you too elana, i think its would be a waste of my time, concidering my back ground and how broken my picker is, i would have to pass on that one too

Elana

You are so CORRECT.
I would say that if a conversation with a guy ends with "send me money" that should be a real red flag.

(Same for a girl). Nice, established, people do not ask you to send them money for "car rental" or "air fare" or any other thing.

Elana

Finding my ex co worker the convicted Pedophile.. Geeze! How sick is that?

Oh.. and here is the kicker.. his photo has his TWO KIDS IN IT WITH HIM!!!!!

Yikes!

rozied

I have mixed feelings about this one Elana................my sister at the age of 47 finally divorced her husband. After awhile she looked in the Personals in the local paper. To make a long story short she met someone & they have been together for 6 yrs & are getting married in August. Her daughter went to Match.com & dated some guys from there. You can go far to protect yourself on these sites as you do not have to give out your phone number or address & if you do decide to met someone you can do it at a diner. In todays electronic society I sometimes feel it would be better to meet someone like this than to go to a bar. Once you are graduated from HS it is hard to met single people.
I am glad I don't have to worry about this now but it does concern me as my SS is 33 & needs to meet new people in his life.
Love,
Diane

Ann

This was just posted today on Newcomers. It applies to each of us. One should be extremely careful in trusting anyone on the internet with their personal information. We think it could never happen to us, but it does, it surely does.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...predators.html

Elana

Extremely enlightening.
I am not saying there is no good in the online dating sites.. I am just saying they can be very dangerous as the link above explains.

Makes me not want to even have a computer.

I met XABF on line thru a Railroad forum. We emailed for a year and a half.. did not become intimate for months after meeting.. and then dated for 5 years b4 he moved in. STILL got fooled by him.

I learned my lesson... and I won't be using internet sites for dating. I don't go to bars either. Is it hard to meet people as you get older? Yes. It is. Nearly impossible. Most people are married at this age.

I will do things I am interested in and if I meet someone fine. If I don't, well that is fine too. I want references if there is anyone again. I am not ready now. I just don't have any trust.

Seeing that guy on this dating site today really creeped me out even more!

liesagain

the sad part is................its a coin toss no matter where or how you meet someone. I mean look at many of us..........I'm sure we didn't find our A's on online dating sites yet........they have skeletons in their closets.

I think that you just have to be careful, and pay attention to your gut feelings don't ignore the red flags or signals just because " he seems like a great guy"
take your time ya know.
Thats easier said than done I think. I was actuallt thinking recently that I have never been alone. Stright from moms house to my childrens father........always in long term relationships, even as a teen I was part of a couple ya know the one who always had the same boyfriend
wondering what that says about me..............

Elana

Oh "Lies".. I think it says you are loyal. I am too.
I was not part of a couple until after college. I had horses to work and I had to work a lot.. and really never got asked out. I did well in school but everyone said that guys were afraid of me.. and my attitude then was well then, "Leave 'em scared!"

After college I dated a little. I have nevr done much of that. When I did my choices were poor. I did love these guys.. My first "guy" was more co dependent than most people I see on SR FFSA or alanon! He was not a drinker or into drugs.

2nd was my husband and he was a binge drinker and mentally ill. Last was XABF and of all of them he did the most damage. I never dealt with a full blown drug addict before and what an awakening I have had since spending a lot of time here at SR and at Alanon.

Glad I know now!
No.. there are no guarantees with anyone... just seeing that one guy on that site was freaky.. and there were a few others you did not have to read past the second sentence to know they were double barreled trouble!