liesagain

As I mentioned awhile back my ah relapes..........oh about 25 days ago.
Anyhow one thing he said in the days after that...........was how he feels the safest and most sure he will not use after he has used..............and that feeling that certainty lasts for a few weeks.
Yet this time it only lasted a few days...........and he was mad or upset that he didn't feel as low as usual and that the low feelings left him to quick, because its the low feelings that make him feel safe from his addiction as he says its a time he KNOWS he won't use no matter what.

Have any of you ever hear this type of logic or even felt this way yourself?
Just curious.

Ah is working his program, working very hard on honesty he says...........still see some addictive behavior but nothing yet( like isolating or relapse signals)

Take care everyone!!

Lovestoomuch

The only thing I can relate to how your AH is feeling is a hangover. I think......and I could be wrong, but most of us have had one a time or two in our lives. We drink way too much then wake up with that awful feeling. The headache, the woosey sick feeling.....just horrible. I've said those words......"I'm NEVER going to drink again". Well.......we know how that goes. That office party or christmas party comes along and once again we find ourselves saying "I'm NEVER going to drink again".

I think maybe your AH is relying on those awful crashes as a means of never going back, but the body recovers and the memories of those awful hangovers fade. It's not enough.

justme5

hi liesagain,

mine has said the same thing...the awful feelings help him to remember what using does to him emotionally and physically, and then he can focus on recovery. the problem that he keeps finding is that it just takes that one moment for the beast to grab him again and shake him loose from that memory...and then he's back to the awful feelings...

last night's/this morning's relapse was exactly at the 4 week mark for my ah...he'll feel humbled and "safe" again for another couple of weeks, at the very least, and we'll take it one day at a time from there...

hugs and positive thoughts your way...

cece1960

Funny, but I do believe it was my sons slips and/or relapses that eventually led him to the point that he could say "no more"
While he may have felt anything but "lucky" it seemed that his using not only brought on guilt and the lousy feelings, it brought on trouble with loved ones and the law as well. Eventually I think he just became tired of the whole cycle.

It was painful to watch, and I probably shouldn't have been subjected to all of it, but it did leave me with the knowledge that there is always hope that a slip will be the last.
I think the trick is that their enough point comes prior to ours.
(((hugs)))
Cece

teke

i think that those feeling comes with crashing but the thing about relying on the feelings, don't always do the trick, the more relapses the less they recognize the pain. thats like anything else you might try to get away with, say stealing, steal once and it the scarest feeling, the second time is less scary and before you know it, it won't feel scary at all.


in my opinion, relying on the crashing does not make for a succussful recovery. he going to meeting , getting a sponsor and working the steps is what works. keeping you and your in my prayers

liesagain

thanks for the imput everyone............its odd how so many of them say and think the same way.

anvil............he does work a program is suppose, I mean it alsways looks like he is but I think its the inside stuff thats still not resolved and what leads him back to relapse after relapse...........
he has a sposor he goes to NA everyday he had an intensive outpatient group meeting twice a week he has private therapy to work on some old issues..........he reads the NA book he calls someone from NA everyday, he journals
some of those things came a little at a time meaning another thing was added after each relapse but this is where he is today. Onething I found so interesting( for lack of a better word) is that he says that He doesnt even reconise that he heading for a relapse............but he had done things to set it up...and as he tells it never really thinking he would actualy use, always tells himself no way thats stupid why would I do that.........but then he does.
So anyhow this time he tells me he's working on honesty.........honesty with himself and others........that if he has a thought he will tell, and in the last 20 something days since the relapse he's told me about thoughts twice. Not sure how often these using thoughts actually come................but I guess he's still trying.
Thats the thing with him thats so confusing he tries so hard but he still hasn't got it
and I worry that if he doesnt that one day one relapse will be his last......jail institution or death................
but its hard to give up and its hard to not begin to fell like its goona be okay when he shows thru actions thats he trying I guess thats why it hurts so much when he fails...........

Thanks again everyone.