topetah

i would like to share some info with all of you. as addicts we some times give are selfs permission to "slip". i went from drinking/drugging 3 times a week to two times a month. i thought i was doing good because i wasnt getting drunk as much. i have now relised that that is not the right thing to do. sober means sober. they say when your sick and tired of being sick thats when you will be ready. well im sick of being sick. i thought i was doing good because i cut down my drinking/using alot. but i am hear to tell you all im am done for sure. on wed i dodged a big bullet. i wont get into details but it was enough to scare the crap outta me. im so done with this. i never want to feel the feelings you have the next day when you slip. for the first time in my life im excited about my new sober life. its such a big weight lifted off my shoulders to know im NEVER going to slip again. so ive decided to make a big change. i usually slipped when i was lonely. that will not longer be an excuse for me to use. i have come clean and told my grandmother what ive been doing. to my surprise she wasnt there to judge me only there to support me. so i reached out and asked for help from her. i know now i cant do this by myself. i asked her what would you think about me and michael moving in with you? she was so excited to hear this. she said i can move in right now! she is 85 years old and she gets scared living in that big house all alone in the country. so this is my big change. i will be moving in with her within the next month. i wont have to pay for anything. i will finally be able to save all my money and finally build up my bank account again. plus she will be able to spend time with me and her great grand son. i will be able to mow the yard (5 acres) and help out around the house for her. this will be a win win situation for all of us. i plan to spend a year with her that way it will help to get me back on tract and i wont have those people coming over to my house always wanting to drink/use. im so excited guys. i will be starting to pack tonight. plus this will be good for my son. he will be able to play outside whenever he wants. i dont alow him to do that at the place i have now. its too dangerous. he will have 5 acres to play on. i am now focused and sober. i could have hit rock bottom on wed but im so glad thats not the case. im going to make it all. and i made a promiss to myself not to fail. i feel so good and excited about my new sober non slip life now. it was hard to sleep because i was thinking about all the positives in my life now. thats a big change from what i used to dwell on. i will now never be lonely again. i will have her to watch tv with, talk to and eat dinner with. im sorry this is so long im just so happy right now. thank you all for listening and i just hope i can come hear from now on and help others like they have helped me. i know this is online friendship with all of you but it is a friendship i do cherish. you all are in my heart everyday and i WILL not give up on you and most important myself. i have much love for all of you you inspire me to be a better man and a better dad and i do thank you for that. ok time to work lol. i will post more later. take care and god bless....jason

stone

Sounds great Top! A change of environment can be a good thing in itself plus the other points you mentioned.

Anna

Jason,

This sounds like an amazing opportunity for you and your son. I think that sobriety brings us many gifts and this is truly a gift for you.

Rowan

Jason,

I sense a real shift in your perception - thanks for sharing this with us. I'm really proud of you.

Rowan

Missymae737

Awesome Jason,

There is so much growth in your sobriety. thanks for sharing...

noprob

Jason this sounds so great! and I don't even know you personally!?!
Do you have a plan of action?(support group - sponsor - like minded people to hang with)
My hope is for you and yours to be ok,today.

KOKO

Aysha

Jason..You just brought tears to my eyes.
Seriously. I am so happy for you.
I swear yours and my situations are so similar.
It feels good doesnt it? It only gets better.
You are very lucky you did DODGE a bullet and not take it.
WAKE UP!!! I think that bullet was screaming.
Yesterday as you saw I had my first battle with my trigger.
I won this one.
I went out had lunch with my cousin and her son.
Went shopping..bought her baby on the way her first bathing suit. Got the kids a huge blow up water slide pool thing.
Got my bills on the way to being caught up.
Went to my little cousins first tee ball practice ever.
Then had a sleep over with my cousins kids. We had popcorn and watched Happy Feet.
And most of all.... took alot of weight off my grams.
Life is so great. I would have missed all that if I would have got high yesterday.
Alot of firsts for my family yesterday.
I made it. And I will make it next week to.
And I know you will too.
Congratulations my friend.
Welcome to living and enjoying life free.

parentrecovers

great post, jason. thank you! k