One 'little' worry
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
One 'little' worry
Hi friends,
This is a long one- thanks in advance for reading!
I see my son Wed. nights after attending a meeting at his facility. This place is wonderful but like so many other halfway houses and drug rehabs is located in a not-so-great part of town. As we were driving there last night and I was discussing some of my icky feelings with mr cmc- I had a little slip.... just for a moment another 'thing' to deal with came to my mind. So much has been let go and left for my son to handle and for my HP to be in control over- since I resigned from that job. I'm so glad I fired myself from being in charge!
Yesterday was a 'down in the dumps' kind of day for me and my mood. Recovery-wise that should become a red alert for an oncoming codie slip. I feel bad when that happens- especially when everything is going soooo much better for my son. Not only does he love his new job but after only 4 days of training, he is ...being promoted and been given a promise to move up farther in the company. He's surpassed three levels of training! He's so happy! btw...When I told him his Auntie Hangin' said she was so proud of him in my other thread, he laughed out loud!!!
He appreciates things like that!
All that said- here's a small thing that happened that was really huge for me. Last week when I spent the day with my son, I became more situated to his neighborhood- which of course was not a very positive experience. Things I saw, learned and realized were happening there that I would rather not know about much less see in person. You name it, it's happening there. I'm sure most of you will know what I'm talking about.
Just minutes before we got there last night, while driving into the area, I started to obsess about my son having to do so much walking around, at 6 am in the dark waiting for buses within such a dangerous area. I 'did' my program....and told myself; "God is taking care of him; it's a consequence; he can take care of himself; it's out of my control" etc etc.
Imagine my surprise when during our visit he brings up the subject! We have never discussed it before. He told me that he had just started walking through there with "J" a very nice young woman who was at the same jail he came from. My little codie 'problem' was solved, not from my being good at letting it go, but by the fact that things really were okay- a little better than okay because he is taking care of someone more defenseless than himself.
Years back I could have and would have been soooo much more stressed over just this one thing, and for a longer period of time. This time was an exception because I got a glimpse of a good thing happening. Much of the time I have learned from trial and error or the sheer exhaustion of doing things the same way over and over and seeing no change...in me. What a concept! This time my HP allowed me to 'see' what I was hoping for- which has reinforced my faith and my recovery efforts. It was nice of Him to let me know that He is on top of things and doesn't need my 'help' to get the job done!
This whole thing is a perfect example of how I can imagine something to be happening that isn't. It is an odd problem considering how at one time I was so unable to realize how bad some things really were. Codieism has it's extremes! There are dozens of issues I face, like this one about taking a bus in a bad neighborhood. I don't always handle them well, but this one _has_ helped me and I hope it helps some of you too. I'm so grateful that I can learn to change.
Thanks to all who share their ESH, you continue to endear and amaze me, and I'm grateful to have a place like this to come and share.
hugs,
cmc
This is a long one- thanks in advance for reading!
I see my son Wed. nights after attending a meeting at his facility. This place is wonderful but like so many other halfway houses and drug rehabs is located in a not-so-great part of town. As we were driving there last night and I was discussing some of my icky feelings with mr cmc- I had a little slip.... just for a moment another 'thing' to deal with came to my mind. So much has been let go and left for my son to handle and for my HP to be in control over- since I resigned from that job. I'm so glad I fired myself from being in charge!
Yesterday was a 'down in the dumps' kind of day for me and my mood. Recovery-wise that should become a red alert for an oncoming codie slip. I feel bad when that happens- especially when everything is going soooo much better for my son. Not only does he love his new job but after only 4 days of training, he is ...being promoted and been given a promise to move up farther in the company. He's surpassed three levels of training! He's so happy! btw...When I told him his Auntie Hangin' said she was so proud of him in my other thread, he laughed out loud!!!
He appreciates things like that!All that said- here's a small thing that happened that was really huge for me. Last week when I spent the day with my son, I became more situated to his neighborhood- which of course was not a very positive experience. Things I saw, learned and realized were happening there that I would rather not know about much less see in person. You name it, it's happening there. I'm sure most of you will know what I'm talking about.
Just minutes before we got there last night, while driving into the area, I started to obsess about my son having to do so much walking around, at 6 am in the dark waiting for buses within such a dangerous area. I 'did' my program....and told myself; "God is taking care of him; it's a consequence; he can take care of himself; it's out of my control" etc etc.
Imagine my surprise when during our visit he brings up the subject! We have never discussed it before. He told me that he had just started walking through there with "J" a very nice young woman who was at the same jail he came from. My little codie 'problem' was solved, not from my being good at letting it go, but by the fact that things really were okay- a little better than okay because he is taking care of someone more defenseless than himself.
Years back I could have and would have been soooo much more stressed over just this one thing, and for a longer period of time. This time was an exception because I got a glimpse of a good thing happening. Much of the time I have learned from trial and error or the sheer exhaustion of doing things the same way over and over and seeing no change...in me. What a concept! This time my HP allowed me to 'see' what I was hoping for- which has reinforced my faith and my recovery efforts. It was nice of Him to let me know that He is on top of things and doesn't need my 'help' to get the job done!
This whole thing is a perfect example of how I can imagine something to be happening that isn't. It is an odd problem considering how at one time I was so unable to realize how bad some things really were. Codieism has it's extremes! There are dozens of issues I face, like this one about taking a bus in a bad neighborhood. I don't always handle them well, but this one _has_ helped me and I hope it helps some of you too. I'm so grateful that I can learn to change.
Thanks to all who share their ESH, you continue to endear and amaze me, and I'm grateful to have a place like this to come and share.
hugs,
cmc
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
it is so good to hear that he is really taking care of himself and helping someone else at the same time. god had a way of allowing a glimpse into the future, letting us know that he's in control and all we have to do is just go along for the ride. you are turning him over, i can imagine how peaceful that is. i'm still praying that he continues on with his recovery and his new friend
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I love reading how recovery makes us better in the ways we could never have predicted!
Thank you, CMC, and tell your son there are LOTS of prayers for him around here.... and for his mom, too.
(((Hugs)))
Thank you, CMC, and tell your son there are LOTS of prayers for him around here.... and for his mom, too.
(((Hugs)))
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
cmc,
Glad to hear your son is doing so well. He must be some kind of a good worker, to have them promote him so fast! Good job!
I remember visiting the youngest in his halfway house, bad, yucky neighborhood also, with dealers standing out on the street in front. Gave me the heebie jeebies.
My son didn't stay there very long anyway, so I worried for nothing.
I don't consider "caring" a slip, I think you are just concerned, and to me that's okay, you know you have no control over it anyway...you done did good.
And kudos to your son for recognizing the bad neighborhood also. He sounds like a smart cookie....
Hugs,
Glad to hear your son is doing so well. He must be some kind of a good worker, to have them promote him so fast! Good job!
I remember visiting the youngest in his halfway house, bad, yucky neighborhood also, with dealers standing out on the street in front. Gave me the heebie jeebies.
My son didn't stay there very long anyway, so I worried for nothing.
I don't consider "caring" a slip, I think you are just concerned, and to me that's okay, you know you have no control over it anyway...you done did good.
And kudos to your son for recognizing the bad neighborhood also. He sounds like a smart cookie....
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
it sounds as if your son is doing so good. i am proud of him too.i am proud of you the way you are handleing things. your son sounds as if he is doing his recovery but also growing up. i love the good stories.hugs,
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
CMC, Thanks so much for your wonderful post! Like Moose, I don't see this as a slip...You are concerned for his safety, which is what a loving mom feels, and you recognized you were starting to go down the path of stressing over that which you could not control. So you used all your tools and HP said "good job" and showed you how well it works - Awesome! I think HP sends us these events both to remind us that he is in control and to give us a chance to pull out those tools so they don't get rusty.
I'm sure you are proud of your son and his accomplishments. I'm so glad he's doing so well and advancing in his job. Keeping him and you and Mr CMC in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.
I'm sure you are proud of your son and his accomplishments. I'm so glad he's doing so well and advancing in his job. Keeping him and you and Mr CMC in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.
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