Well...
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Well...
I guess as Japic puts it so well the "crazies" are kicking in! I got a call at 2:40 pm that he was bailed out-I got a restricted phone call 3:23 p.m. I got three txt messages since then. One which is typical of the A "thank you for once again screwing up my life and you cant even face me"
Well I phoned the police and will be going down there after work in 30 minutes with the statement that I typed up-and more than likely he will be arrested again! I'm walking on egg shells right now because I know how horrid the disease explodes and he is reaching at the bottom of the bottom now-arrested this will be 4 times and 2 DUI's. Yup I ruined his life ...I held his hand and poured the booze down his throat!
So how many times do we call the cops and make statements? (How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?) and by the way how is this not taking away from our lives? Can someone explain that? I had dinner plans with my sister that I had to change until later on because this is more important-Hmmmm can we say "crazies" ((Japic))
Well I phoned the police and will be going down there after work in 30 minutes with the statement that I typed up-and more than likely he will be arrested again! I'm walking on egg shells right now because I know how horrid the disease explodes and he is reaching at the bottom of the bottom now-arrested this will be 4 times and 2 DUI's. Yup I ruined his life ...I held his hand and poured the booze down his throat!
So how many times do we call the cops and make statements? (How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?) and by the way how is this not taking away from our lives? Can someone explain that? I had dinner plans with my sister that I had to change until later on because this is more important-Hmmmm can we say "crazies" ((Japic))
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Rella,
I would say after the trip to the police station you definitely deserve a big dose of "self-care" - A good meal, your favorite movie, snuggle up in your best blanket, a relaxing walk in the park, maybe even a good workout on the punching bag at the gym. - Whatever is good for you - maybe all of it.
Most of all try to turn those "crazies" off in your head -
!!!!
Hate that you are still having to go thru this -
Sending you prayers for peace,
Rita
I would say after the trip to the police station you definitely deserve a big dose of "self-care" - A good meal, your favorite movie, snuggle up in your best blanket, a relaxing walk in the park, maybe even a good workout on the punching bag at the gym. - Whatever is good for you - maybe all of it.
Most of all try to turn those "crazies" off in your head -
!!!!Hate that you are still having to go thru this -
Sending you prayers for peace,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Rafael, California
Posts: 48
Originally Posted by Japic05 
Rella,
I would say after the trip to the police station you definitely deserve a big dose of "self-care" - A good meal, your favorite movie, snuggle up in your best blanket, a relaxing walk in the park, maybe even a good workout on the punching bag at the gym. - Whatever is good for you - maybe all of it.
I would say after the trip to the police station you definitely deserve a big dose of "self-care" - A good meal, your favorite movie, snuggle up in your best blanket, a relaxing walk in the park, maybe even a good workout on the punching bag at the gym. - Whatever is good for you - maybe all of it.
A good massage would probably do well too!
I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this, but you're handling it all very well! Keep your head up - you're doing all the right things!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
I guess as many times as it takes till we hit our bottom and just get sick and tired of it being in our lives?
When your down there, what about a restraining order?? I feel for you though, and I used to get sucked into that cant even face me crazies all the flipping time. So I would face them....
Next thing I knew he had hold of the back of my hair while I was holding my daughter and the second the Aunt took her out of my hands I was flying accross the room to hit the fireplace.... and he was right on top of me... took his brother to pull me off.
I should not have responded, I accept my part on that.... but I learned quickly Im not suck a tough guy.
When your down there, what about a restraining order?? I feel for you though, and I used to get sucked into that cant even face me crazies all the flipping time. So I would face them....
Next thing I knew he had hold of the back of my hair while I was holding my daughter and the second the Aunt took her out of my hands I was flying accross the room to hit the fireplace.... and he was right on top of me... took his brother to pull me off.
I should not have responded, I accept my part on that.... but I learned quickly Im not suck a tough guy.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Cynay-Actually there has been NO CONTACT from my end except for ONE TIME which was unacceptable on my part and that was about a month ago when I screamed into the phone to LEAVE ME ALONE! I was just fed up! It is in my life not by my choice! I was done with him 1 1/2 ago! and by the way-there is a FINAL RESTRAING ORDER that has been in effect for a year at the end of May- Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(((((Cynay))))) I feel your pain honey and I'm so sorry for you. I was there too! Fist of hair in his hand and pulled me down a flight of stairs! Can you say two herniated discs, restraining order, poor justice system in my area!?
(((((Cynay))))) I feel your pain honey and I'm so sorry for you. I was there too! Fist of hair in his hand and pulled me down a flight of stairs! Can you say two herniated discs, restraining order, poor justice system in my area!?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Rafael, California
Posts: 48
I may be confusing Rella's situation with another's, but I thought she said there's already a restraining order in place - which is why the text message is cause for going back to the police.
The sad part is, everyone loves to say "get a restraining order." The reality of it is that a restraining order is simply a piece of paper TELLING a person they can't do this, and can't do that.
It doesn't actually stop them...and when they get caught, this is exactly what happens. They get out of jail, are pissed off, and go do it again...
Not to get off topic, but I truly believe that restraining orders will always be worthless if all the punishment ends up being is a few hours, or one night, in jail - ESPECIALLY for repeated infractions. Restraining orders need to be taken seriously - but unfortunately the people that they're put in place against to protect us know that there's no severe consequence and that our law enforcement system doesn't take them as seriously as it should, so they're just going to laugh them off - especially if they're drunk and not thinking rationally anyway.
Let's see how much more seriously they're taken when it's an automatic 1-3 year jail sentence for violation.
The sad part is, everyone loves to say "get a restraining order." The reality of it is that a restraining order is simply a piece of paper TELLING a person they can't do this, and can't do that.
It doesn't actually stop them...and when they get caught, this is exactly what happens. They get out of jail, are pissed off, and go do it again...
Not to get off topic, but I truly believe that restraining orders will always be worthless if all the punishment ends up being is a few hours, or one night, in jail - ESPECIALLY for repeated infractions. Restraining orders need to be taken seriously - but unfortunately the people that they're put in place against to protect us know that there's no severe consequence and that our law enforcement system doesn't take them as seriously as it should, so they're just going to laugh them off - especially if they're drunk and not thinking rationally anyway.
Let's see how much more seriously they're taken when it's an automatic 1-3 year jail sentence for violation.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
HOLY HECK....
Now that had to hurt, I was not physically hurt much.... just my pride more then anything....
If you have the order is the report to have him arrested for contact???? I must have missed that somewhere.
Now that had to hurt, I was not physically hurt much.... just my pride more then anything....
If you have the order is the report to have him arrested for contact???? I must have missed that somewhere.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Rafael, California
Posts: 48
I'm sorry Cynay, I wasn't trying to be mean at all! I just tend to be very matter of fact about my posts - please...NEVER take anything I say as any sort of attack. I was in a hurry writing it...lol.
Please forgive me?
Please forgive me?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Nothing to forgive hon, I did not take it that way at all...
Acutally your right, I had a police officer tell me that it will either work or tick them off more and that they could not do anything until he actually "hurt" me... sucks, such as life.
But at least its documentated, and if its repeated and he does other things they will take it into consideration...
Acutally your right, I had a police officer tell me that it will either work or tick them off more and that they could not do anything until he actually "hurt" me... sucks, such as life.
But at least its documentated, and if its repeated and he does other things they will take it into consideration...
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Originally Posted by Cynay
Acutally your right, I had a police officer tell me that it will either work or tick them off more and that they could not do anything until he actually "hurt" me... sucks, such as life.
But at least its documentated, and if its repeated and he does other things they will take it into consideration...
Wow! Amazing Cynay NOT! The Sgt. just happen to tell me this last night when I went to the police station YET AGAIN! He was not happy about this situation and takes his job very seriously unlike alot of them do! Which he had said to me...about the lazy ones! Anyway-he tried to get the "stalking charge" placed and they said they will not do that until I have been physically touched or shaken up! SHAKEN UP? PHYSICALLY TOUCHED? Oh I said they are waiting till he BLOWS MY HEAD OFF! My sister actually tried to make light of the situation and said well you do not have to worry because we will be the ones suffering! (The way she said it was funny)......so anyway he gave me a bunch of numbers to raise havoc which I plan too! My girlfriends husband is a Sgt in the County he was arrested and he is going to help me and be behind me 100%.
My x A continued to throw txt messages, voice mails and restricted calls last night till around 8 p.m. I did not get a call from the police so I assumed that he had drank himself to sleep or was hiding somewhere. Well.....this morning around 7:45 I got 3 restricted phone calls so that was my answer he was still out! Sgt. called me 8:05 and said they looked for him last night could not find him anywhere-and they just arrested him again not 5 minutes before he called he was standing in front of his parents house! HIDING!
I'm appalled as I know alot of us are with the justice system-how outrageous that I have to now by suggestion of the Sgt. go pack up and stay elsewhere for now because as BV stated they will get more angry...when they get out so I'm not safe! I can only create safety for myself and take care of me! The sad thing is the restraining is just that a piece of paper (like bv stated) it does not mean they will stop and also does not mean that the chance of them coming after you with even more vengence until I'm flat on my back again and DEAD! Unreal how justice works! This FINAL RESTRAINING ORDER has been in place since May of last year-he has violated now for the 3 time along with 2 DWI's! Hmmmmmm.
I would love some feedback from any A's out there to reassure me what I already know that I'am doing the right thing! (Which I know but that little boost always helps!
Thank you for all your posts! And Cynay for the record.....pain is pain honey and it does not matter who had or is having a worst expierence what matters is that we are all in here for each other to help, guide, advise, influence,be strong together and most important recovery together! ((((Hugs Cynay))))
Last edited by Rella927; 04-26-2007 at 05:55 AM.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Madison
Posts: 131
Yes you have done the right thing. First and the most important thing is to take care of yourself. If they dont see what they are doing then that is there problem and not yours. Until the person decides to get help and start to see the light and grab hold to there sobriety, there is nothing no one can do for this person. Just keep on chugging along and keep your head up high.
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
((((Rella))))))
This guy got some SERIOUS head issues girl!!! They belong to HIM, not you. You need reasurrance your doing the right thing? There's story's in the news EVERY day of woman who got sucked into "thanks for ruining my life" and ended up dying to PROVE they weren't the bad guys. Harsh but true. That's the REALITY in the "sober" world. Our A's live in "la,la land"
ANd might I add, you are a SHINING example to others out there, fighting the same battle. What your doing is affecting more than you know. If one other person reads your stuggle and says, "if she can do it, so CAN I" you might have saved a life!!!
I'm thinking we should go back to "injun" justice. Maybe a scalping is in order?
STAY strong girl, your doing the RIGHT thing
Hey, NJ ain't far from myisland. Come on up and I'll take ya fishin
Peace
This guy got some SERIOUS head issues girl!!! They belong to HIM, not you. You need reasurrance your doing the right thing? There's story's in the news EVERY day of woman who got sucked into "thanks for ruining my life" and ended up dying to PROVE they weren't the bad guys. Harsh but true. That's the REALITY in the "sober" world. Our A's live in "la,la land"
ANd might I add, you are a SHINING example to others out there, fighting the same battle. What your doing is affecting more than you know. If one other person reads your stuggle and says, "if she can do it, so CAN I" you might have saved a life!!!
I'm thinking we should go back to "injun" justice. Maybe a scalping is in order?
STAY strong girl, your doing the RIGHT thing
Hey, NJ ain't far from myisland. Come on up and I'll take ya fishin
Peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
A restraining order may only be a piece of paper, here's the part that matters. A restraining order is a Judges order and here's something even worse. I'm the one holding it. As Clint Eastwood says, "Make my day!"
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Part of owning my own power is knowing that I have choices.
I refuse to be a hostage to anyone any longer.
I chose to move bc I didnt want to have to go through what you are going through Rella. Ive mentioned it before, but he followed me 2000 miles away and police were called again. Ive since moved twice.
Importantly, I take ownership over the fact that I chose to take his phone calls and seeing him which only set me back. It didnt help him see anything, didnt help me let go and didnt help the courts understand why I was still taking his requests for contact.
I moved again and went back to court.
Is it fair that I live like this, throwing away money on deposits I dont get back bc I move? Throwing away money on utility deposits?
No. Its not fair. But its life.
I am owning my life and my choices and recognizing that I have the power of my life and choices and nothing else. Im responsible for my own well being.
I choose to take care of myself at all costs.
Hope today is better Rella.
I refuse to be a hostage to anyone any longer.
I chose to move bc I didnt want to have to go through what you are going through Rella. Ive mentioned it before, but he followed me 2000 miles away and police were called again. Ive since moved twice.
Importantly, I take ownership over the fact that I chose to take his phone calls and seeing him which only set me back. It didnt help him see anything, didnt help me let go and didnt help the courts understand why I was still taking his requests for contact.
I moved again and went back to court.
Is it fair that I live like this, throwing away money on deposits I dont get back bc I move? Throwing away money on utility deposits?
No. Its not fair. But its life.
I am owning my life and my choices and recognizing that I have the power of my life and choices and nothing else. Im responsible for my own well being.
I choose to take care of myself at all costs.
Hope today is better Rella.
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