Change4life

76 days gone in a flash. I feel so bad. I also feel embarresed. Only one slip up, but I feel like I cant tell anyone. The few peoplw I allow in my life would really be mad if they knew what happened. I can barely look at them. A few know something is wrong but dont know what. They didnt realize the day I took the pills, but for the past 3 days they think Ive been using because I am so not myself. I keep telling myself it was only a few pills, and 2 drinks and I didnt do crack, but I am soooooooo dissappointed in myself. It was really hard to stay clean fo such a long time. Now my mind is just really funky. I was feeling good about myself and now I feel like crap. I am scaird I will fall again. I cant go back to where I was. I didnt fair very well as a homeless person. One day of using really set me back more than I would have imagined. I had 14 days to get 90 in, now I am back to having 87 to go. UGH!

Golfman

look at it this way, those 76 days are not gone. you experienced them and they are forever a part of you. sometimes we get too tied up in thinking about numbers. It''s what you learned and felt in those 76 days that matters. So you made a mistake, and you will learn from it. Don't be defined by anything other than what you are doing right now to move forward. You can't change what's done. With the help of God, your willingness, and people around you, you will survive and go on.

You cannot change the past and the future is not guaranteed. Just for today, you are as sober as I am. When you got up this morning and made a conscious decision not to use, you were just like me. My sober days, months, and years behind me are just that, they're behind me. I only have today, and today you and I can both choose to stay clean. I think that puts us even. I'm on day 1 of the rest of my life, how about you?

Your friend in sobriety,
Ed

Change4life

That you golfman. I am on day 3 of the rest of my life. I am trying to let it go and move forward, but I am not going to lie I am scaird.

Tazman53

I will back up totally what Ed shared, today is all that matters! I heard this said in the rooms once: I have heard people with decades of sobriety state that they can not stay sober because they were sober the past 20 years, they can only stay sober because they decided not to use today!

Who is not scared, I live in fear of going back to the end of my 40 years in hell, all it takes for this old drunk is one drink to start right back down that road into Hades, but I decided this morning I would not have that drink today.... maybe tomorrow, but not today!

Change4life

I need to talk more but have to go to work. NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT

Dee74

Hey Bfree,

it's all a matter of perspective...I'm on day 13...to me, getting to day 76 is awesome...if this sobriety thing was easy, we wouldn't need stuff like this forum...

hang in there - hope work wasn't too hassly
peace
D

Hope

Today is all that matters.
Really.
Focus on now.
That is how we do this thing.
Just for today.