Catch 22
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
Catch 22
Hi all.. I just discovered this forum today after doing a search on google.
I'm not sure how to start so for my first post I'll try and keep this short.
The catch 22 here is I suffer from agoraphobia/Panic disorder as well as being an alcoholic...I'm not sure which came first.
Fact is I'm divorced living alone on a disability pension and becoming more and more isolated from the outside world.
I've used alcohol as a device to help me socially..basically to just go out somewhere I had to have a drink. I worked in the Burns unit for close on 20 years until my agoraphobia made it impossible in 1996.
My doc has given me 10 maybe 15 years at my drinking level before I die of liver disease and I think he's being generous in saying that as my blood tests have shown abnormal readings for over 5 years.
I can't go one day without drinking..I dry wretch at times until I have my hit which takes it all away.I'm depressed and have no interest in anything..No motivation and zero confidence.
I'm alone and don't know how to get out of this great hole I'm in...I still have a few diehard friends but most have drifted away because of my agoraphobia.
I can't afford hospital cover and the thing that freaks me out is if I was to try detox I would have to go into the hospital I worked at..No way I could stand the embarrassment of running into an ex co worker.
On top of that I couldn't leave home because of my agoraphobia.
Well so much for keeping this short...If anyone could give me some help regarding my situation I would be most appreciative.
Cheers Paul
I'm not sure how to start so for my first post I'll try and keep this short.
The catch 22 here is I suffer from agoraphobia/Panic disorder as well as being an alcoholic...I'm not sure which came first.
Fact is I'm divorced living alone on a disability pension and becoming more and more isolated from the outside world.
I've used alcohol as a device to help me socially..basically to just go out somewhere I had to have a drink. I worked in the Burns unit for close on 20 years until my agoraphobia made it impossible in 1996.
My doc has given me 10 maybe 15 years at my drinking level before I die of liver disease and I think he's being generous in saying that as my blood tests have shown abnormal readings for over 5 years.
I can't go one day without drinking..I dry wretch at times until I have my hit which takes it all away.I'm depressed and have no interest in anything..No motivation and zero confidence.
I'm alone and don't know how to get out of this great hole I'm in...I still have a few diehard friends but most have drifted away because of my agoraphobia.
I can't afford hospital cover and the thing that freaks me out is if I was to try detox I would have to go into the hospital I worked at..No way I could stand the embarrassment of running into an ex co worker.
On top of that I couldn't leave home because of my agoraphobia.
Well so much for keeping this short...If anyone could give me some help regarding my situation I would be most appreciative.
Cheers Paul
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Originally Posted by shipo 
Hi all.. I just discovered this forum today after doing a search on google.
I'm not sure how to start so for my first post I'll try and keep this short.
The catch 22 here is I suffer from agoraphobia/Panic disorder as well as being an alcoholic...I'm not sure which came first.
Fact is I'm divorced living alone on a disability pension and becoming more and more isolated from the outside world.
I've used alcohol as a device to help me socially..basically to just go out somewhere I had to have a drink. I worked in the Burns unit for close on 20 years until my agoraphobia made it impossible in 1996.
My doc has given me 10 maybe 15 years at my drinking level before I die of liver disease and I think he's being generous in saying that as my blood tests have shown abnormal readings for over 5 years.
I can't go one day without drinking..I dry wretch at times until I have my hit which takes it all away.I'm depressed and have no interest in anything..No motivation and zero confidence.
I'm alone and don't know how to get out of this great hole I'm in...I still have a few diehard friends but most have drifted away because of my agoraphobia.
I can't afford hospital cover and the thing that freaks me out is if I was to try detox I would have to go into the hospital I worked at..No way I could stand the embarrassment of running into an ex co worker.
On top of that I couldn't leave home because of my agoraphobia.
Well so much for keeping this short...If anyone could give me some help regarding my situation I would be most appreciative.
Cheers Paul
I'm not sure how to start so for my first post I'll try and keep this short.
The catch 22 here is I suffer from agoraphobia/Panic disorder as well as being an alcoholic...I'm not sure which came first.
Fact is I'm divorced living alone on a disability pension and becoming more and more isolated from the outside world.
I've used alcohol as a device to help me socially..basically to just go out somewhere I had to have a drink. I worked in the Burns unit for close on 20 years until my agoraphobia made it impossible in 1996.
My doc has given me 10 maybe 15 years at my drinking level before I die of liver disease and I think he's being generous in saying that as my blood tests have shown abnormal readings for over 5 years.
I can't go one day without drinking..I dry wretch at times until I have my hit which takes it all away.I'm depressed and have no interest in anything..No motivation and zero confidence.
I'm alone and don't know how to get out of this great hole I'm in...I still have a few diehard friends but most have drifted away because of my agoraphobia.
I can't afford hospital cover and the thing that freaks me out is if I was to try detox I would have to go into the hospital I worked at..No way I could stand the embarrassment of running into an ex co worker.
On top of that I couldn't leave home because of my agoraphobia.
Well so much for keeping this short...If anyone could give me some help regarding my situation I would be most appreciative.
Cheers Paul
While I cannot relate to your agoraphobia, I can relate to your alcoholic dilema. I too felt that I was totally useless without alcohol. I didn't feel I fit in anywhere, even my own home, without the sense of ease and comfort that came witht the first drink and those that followed. I know there is hope for you, it has been almost 21 years since I had my last drink. I also know from experience that it matters not what else is going on in anyone's life, freedom from alcohol and its demons is possible without a job, family, money, or anything else. I don't the spiritual side of your life. but there is one who has all power. It is there that I found the courage and strength to carry on.
Please stay with us. You will find comfort, support, understanding and love here at SR. You may very well end up helping someone else by sharing your life with us. Thank you for being here.
Your friend in sobriety,
Ed
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 859
Hi Paul,
Welcome to SR. I have been exactly where you are now minus the liver problems. For me, after I got sober, I discovered that alcohol made the agoraphobia worse without me even knowing it, I thought it helped me to be able to get out of the house when in reality, in the long run, it was pushing the depression and panic disorder to the point that I was worse.
Have you talked with your doctor about a structured home detox under his/her supervision? This is what I would do. That way you would be getting medical help and still be able to be at home. It isnt easy by far at first but it can be done and it does get better with time. I found the depression subsided without the alcohol as well. Good Luck, keep posting. The boards are an excellent source of tools and support to help you through this.
Liss
Welcome to SR. I have been exactly where you are now minus the liver problems. For me, after I got sober, I discovered that alcohol made the agoraphobia worse without me even knowing it, I thought it helped me to be able to get out of the house when in reality, in the long run, it was pushing the depression and panic disorder to the point that I was worse.
Have you talked with your doctor about a structured home detox under his/her supervision? This is what I would do. That way you would be getting medical help and still be able to be at home. It isnt easy by far at first but it can be done and it does get better with time. I found the depression subsided without the alcohol as well. Good Luck, keep posting. The boards are an excellent source of tools and support to help you through this.
Liss
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
So true
Thank you all for your responses..Much appreciated.
Lollipop..Yes I do believe the alcohol is making my agoraphobia worse...I'm mixing an antidepressant (effexor) with alcohol a depressant which is not a good marriage.I see my doc next month but I'm not sure if a home detox is available here in Australia...I will definitely ask him on what options are open for me. Thing is I guess I'm going to have come clean to him completely...As with any good alcoholic we are excellent at hiding the full situation.
Another problem I have is with my Mum...She's 78 now and has no idea I have an alcohol problem and I'm worried as to how this may affect her. My Dad knows and hasn't told mum as he knows this will upset her.
I have read through some of the topics and found some good advice...I'm very concerned as to detox..I feel so sick without a drink.
Cheers Paul
Lollipop..Yes I do believe the alcohol is making my agoraphobia worse...I'm mixing an antidepressant (effexor) with alcohol a depressant which is not a good marriage.I see my doc next month but I'm not sure if a home detox is available here in Australia...I will definitely ask him on what options are open for me. Thing is I guess I'm going to have come clean to him completely...As with any good alcoholic we are excellent at hiding the full situation.
Another problem I have is with my Mum...She's 78 now and has no idea I have an alcohol problem and I'm worried as to how this may affect her. My Dad knows and hasn't told mum as he knows this will upset her.
I have read through some of the topics and found some good advice...I'm very concerned as to detox..I feel so sick without a drink.
Cheers Paul
Originally Posted by Lollipop
Hi Paul,
Welcome to SR. I have been exactly where you are now minus the liver problems. For me, after I got sober, I discovered that alcohol made the agoraphobia worse without me even knowing it, I thought it helped me to be able to get out of the house when in reality, in the long run, it was pushing the depression and panic disorder to the point that I was worse.
Have you talked with your doctor about a structured home detox under his/her supervision? This is what I would do. That way you would be getting medical help and still be able to be at home. It isnt easy by far at first but it can be done and it does get better with time. I found the depression subsided without the alcohol as well. Good Luck, keep posting. The boards are an excellent source of tools and support to help you through this.
Liss
Welcome to SR. I have been exactly where you are now minus the liver problems. For me, after I got sober, I discovered that alcohol made the agoraphobia worse without me even knowing it, I thought it helped me to be able to get out of the house when in reality, in the long run, it was pushing the depression and panic disorder to the point that I was worse.
Have you talked with your doctor about a structured home detox under his/her supervision? This is what I would do. That way you would be getting medical help and still be able to be at home. It isnt easy by far at first but it can be done and it does get better with time. I found the depression subsided without the alcohol as well. Good Luck, keep posting. The boards are an excellent source of tools and support to help you through this.
Liss
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Paul be sure to come clean with your doctor, as you said, we alcoholics have a very difficult time telling any one the truth about how much we are drinking until after we have sobered up. Heck I lied to my doctor about how much I was drinking and he still put me into detox! LOL
Hopefully your doctor can help you detox at home, do not try to do it your self unless your doctor gives you the go ahead.
You may want to give your local AA hotline a buzz and talk to them about a 12th step call. AA is what helped me end my 40 year drinking career, with out it I would still be out there drinking in my garage.
Hopefully your doctor can help you detox at home, do not try to do it your self unless your doctor gives you the go ahead.
You may want to give your local AA hotline a buzz and talk to them about a 12th step call. AA is what helped me end my 40 year drinking career, with out it I would still be out there drinking in my garage.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
No Way
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Paul be sure to come clean with your doctor, as you said, we alcoholics have a very difficult time telling any one the truth about how much we are drinking until after we have sobered up. Heck I lied to my doctor about how much I was drinking and he still put me into detox! LOL
Hopefully your doctor can help you detox at home, do not try to do it your self unless your doctor gives you the go ahead.
You may want to give your local AA hotline a buzz and talk to them about a 12th step call. AA is what helped me end my 40 year drinking career, with out it I would still be out there drinking in my garage.
Hopefully your doctor can help you detox at home, do not try to do it your self unless your doctor gives you the go ahead.
You may want to give your local AA hotline a buzz and talk to them about a 12th step call. AA is what helped me end my 40 year drinking career, with out it I would still be out there drinking in my garage.
There is no way I would attempt detox myself...I've tried just giving up for one day and the resulting anxiety and feeling of nausea is quite overwhelming and unbearable. You have inspired me though...40 years is a long time mate..congrats in you recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Paul! glad you are here..........there IS an answer to your agoraphobia/panic issues.
I'm not going to post it here as it's not allowed, like advertising.
Anyway, send me a PM & I will provide you the inhfo.
It WILL work miracles in your life, guaranteed!
AND, regarding alcoholism, there IS an answer there too.
BUT, for God's sake, sure hope you don't plan on treating yourself!!!
Get involved in SOME sort of formal recovery.
AA saved my life.
Tom
I'm not going to post it here as it's not allowed, like advertising.
Anyway, send me a PM & I will provide you the inhfo.
It WILL work miracles in your life, guaranteed!
AND, regarding alcoholism, there IS an answer there too.
BUT, for God's sake, sure hope you don't plan on treating yourself!!!
Get involved in SOME sort of formal recovery.
AA saved my life.
Tom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
Will do and thanks
Originally Posted by 1_day@_a_time
Paul! glad you are here..........there IS an answer to your agoraphobia/panic issues.
I'm not going to post it here as it's not allowed, like advertising.
Anyway, send me a PM & I will provide you the inhfo.
It WILL work miracles in your life, guaranteed!
AND, regarding alcoholism, there IS an answer there too.
BUT, for God's sake, sure hope you don't plan on treating yourself!!!
Get involved in SOME sort of formal recovery.
AA saved my life.
Tom
I'm not going to post it here as it's not allowed, like advertising.
Anyway, send me a PM & I will provide you the inhfo.
It WILL work miracles in your life, guaranteed!
AND, regarding alcoholism, there IS an answer there too.
BUT, for God's sake, sure hope you don't plan on treating yourself!!!
Get involved in SOME sort of formal recovery.
AA saved my life.
Tom
I will try in the morning as I'm very interested in talking to you.
Regards Paul
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I can not offer any experience in agrophobia my freind, but can assure you that as you already are aware, with enough time sober many problems do lessen and in some cases dissappear with sobriety.
Paul sounds to me like you have your head screwed on straight, it will not be an easy road, the best advice of all I can give you is to not try and walk the road alone, there are a lot of hidden pot holes along the way, reach out for the help you need in every way you can, you are not alone and those who know the path to sobriety will be more then happy to take your hand and show you the way.
Paul sounds to me like you have your head screwed on straight, it will not be an easy road, the best advice of all I can give you is to not try and walk the road alone, there are a lot of hidden pot holes along the way, reach out for the help you need in every way you can, you are not alone and those who know the path to sobriety will be more then happy to take your hand and show you the way.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 294
Shipo,
I can identify how you feel about needing to drink to cope with your other issues. For a long time, I drank because I thought it would solve my problems with severe PTSD and an eating disorder with which I've dealt for 11 years. I blamed my drinking on my problems, when- in fact- my drinking was creating a whole host of new problems.
It is no doubt hard to get sober and stay sober. Still the rewards are great. Once you put down the drink, you start to see things a bit more clearly, which means you can start to address the issues that are at the root of your alcoholism and agoraphobia.
You CAN do this. Try to have faith (easier said than done, I know.)
Also, make sure you go about detoxing in a safe way. I had hallucinations and seizures when I tried to stop on my own. Think about going to the hospital, even if you do know the the people there. What is more important, your pride or your life?
Best wishes. Saying a prayer for you.
I can identify how you feel about needing to drink to cope with your other issues. For a long time, I drank because I thought it would solve my problems with severe PTSD and an eating disorder with which I've dealt for 11 years. I blamed my drinking on my problems, when- in fact- my drinking was creating a whole host of new problems.
It is no doubt hard to get sober and stay sober. Still the rewards are great. Once you put down the drink, you start to see things a bit more clearly, which means you can start to address the issues that are at the root of your alcoholism and agoraphobia.
You CAN do this. Try to have faith (easier said than done, I know.)
Also, make sure you go about detoxing in a safe way. I had hallucinations and seizures when I tried to stop on my own. Think about going to the hospital, even if you do know the the people there. What is more important, your pride or your life?
Best wishes. Saying a prayer for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
Thanks Tazman
Originally Posted by Tazman53
I can not offer any experience in agrophobia my freind, but can assure you that as you already are aware, with enough time sober many problems do lessen and in some cases dissappear with sobriety.
Paul sounds to me like you have your head screwed on straight, it will not be an easy road, the best advice of all I can give you is to not try and walk the road alone, there are a lot of hidden pot holes along the way, reach out for the help you need in every way you can, you are not alone and those who know the path to sobriety will be more then happy to take your hand and show you the way.
Paul sounds to me like you have your head screwed on straight, it will not be an easy road, the best advice of all I can give you is to not try and walk the road alone, there are a lot of hidden pot holes along the way, reach out for the help you need in every way you can, you are not alone and those who know the path to sobriety will be more then happy to take your hand and show you the way.
Thanks again
Paul
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,500
Hi Paul,
Welcome to SR!
I understand how scary it is to face detox, but I agree with the others who suggested you talk to your dr and hopefully get a plan on how to do it at home. It's not going to be easy, but you can do this and there is a lot of support here. I began drinking after years of trying to deal with anxiety/depression and panic attacks. I can imagine that your agoraphobia is causing you a lot of problems with getting sober. I assume that the antidepressants help somewhat with the agoraphobia?
Anyways, keep reading and posting.
Welcome to SR!
I understand how scary it is to face detox, but I agree with the others who suggested you talk to your dr and hopefully get a plan on how to do it at home. It's not going to be easy, but you can do this and there is a lot of support here. I began drinking after years of trying to deal with anxiety/depression and panic attacks. I can imagine that your agoraphobia is causing you a lot of problems with getting sober. I assume that the antidepressants help somewhat with the agoraphobia?
Anyways, keep reading and posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Gidday Paul
Good to see a fellow brisbaneite !!
I don't know much about agrophobia, but I'm more often than not stuck at home due to mobility issues...and I do know the old trap of using alcohol to cover fear, boredom, depression, stress whatever...unfortunately for me the alcohol became a problem far bigger than any of the issues I was trying to 'control'...
I find this forum fantastic in giving me a chance to 'speak' with others, as well as the opportunity to read a lot og great ideas and a lot of great advice...
keep posting mate - I'll see you round !
D
Good to see a fellow brisbaneite !!
I don't know much about agrophobia, but I'm more often than not stuck at home due to mobility issues...and I do know the old trap of using alcohol to cover fear, boredom, depression, stress whatever...unfortunately for me the alcohol became a problem far bigger than any of the issues I was trying to 'control'...
I find this forum fantastic in giving me a chance to 'speak' with others, as well as the opportunity to read a lot og great ideas and a lot of great advice...
keep posting mate - I'll see you round !
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: City, CA
Posts: 68
I'm not allowed to post a url so the url was edited. To view the resource and download the free anxiety course materials go to ***** and type in
controlling anxiety
The controlling anxiety dot com site should be at the top of the list. Peace.
controlling anxiety
The controlling anxiety dot com site should be at the top of the list. Peace.
Originally Posted by LeftBehind
Check out this resource friend: controllinganxiety.com/ca
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
Hi Anna
Originally Posted by 51anna
Hi Paul,
Welcome to SR!
I understand how scary it is to face detox, but I agree with the others who suggested you talk to your dr and hopefully get a plan on how to do it at home. It's not going to be easy, but you can do this and there is a lot of support here. I began drinking after years of trying to deal with anxiety/depression and panic attacks. I can imagine that your agoraphobia is causing you a lot of problems with getting sober. I assume that the antidepressants help somewhat with the agoraphobia?
Anyways, keep reading and posting.
Welcome to SR!
I understand how scary it is to face detox, but I agree with the others who suggested you talk to your dr and hopefully get a plan on how to do it at home. It's not going to be easy, but you can do this and there is a lot of support here. I began drinking after years of trying to deal with anxiety/depression and panic attacks. I can imagine that your agoraphobia is causing you a lot of problems with getting sober. I assume that the antidepressants help somewhat with the agoraphobia?
Anyways, keep reading and posting.
Thanks again to you and all that have replied.
Cheers Paul
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
G'day Dee
Originally Posted by Dee74
Gidday Paul
Good to see a fellow brisbaneite !!
I don't know much about agrophobia, but I'm more often than not stuck at home due to mobility issues...and I do know the old trap of using alcohol to cover fear, boredom, depression, stress whatever...unfortunately for me the alcohol became a problem far bigger than any of the issues I was trying to 'control'...
I find this forum fantastic in giving me a chance to 'speak' with others, as well as the opportunity to read a lot og great ideas and a lot of great advice...
keep posting mate - I'll see you round !
D
Good to see a fellow brisbaneite !!
I don't know much about agrophobia, but I'm more often than not stuck at home due to mobility issues...and I do know the old trap of using alcohol to cover fear, boredom, depression, stress whatever...unfortunately for me the alcohol became a problem far bigger than any of the issues I was trying to 'control'...
I find this forum fantastic in giving me a chance to 'speak' with others, as well as the opportunity to read a lot og great ideas and a lot of great advice...
keep posting mate - I'll see you round !
D
How did you manage to gain and keep sobriety?
Thanks for the welcome mate
Cheers Paul
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Originally Posted by shipo
I didn't really expect to find another Aussie here let alone one from Brissie...How bad was your drinking? Did you need detox or go to AA meetings?
How did you manage to gain and keep sobriety?
Thanks for the welcome mate
Cheers Paul
How did you manage to gain and keep sobriety?
Thanks for the welcome mate
Cheers Paul
My drinking was bad enough...my sobriety 'record' is 7 weeks over the last 15 years...at worst (over recent years) I drank til stupor every day...only stopping when I was sick, or out of money...
never tried detox..too embarrassed to seek help or to admit I was anything but a 'heavy drinker' - a very 'Aussie bloke' thing I guess - although I certainly would have at least seen a GP, had I read some of the stuff here about detoxing at home...
never tried AA either, but only for pragmatic reasons - I'm disabled and have speech problems, so a group setting was never really an option for me...
so far, this group, and just being able to 'talk' with people who understand, has worked wonders for me...it's like a different world now...but it's only early days for me, mate - day 14 tomorrow...but I'm hanging in stronger than I could have ever hoped. Just knowing I'm not alone has made all the difference for me, Paul.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Posts: 23
Congrats Mate
Originally Posted by Dee74
Kinda surprised to see another Brissie guy here myself !
My drinking was bad enough...my sobriety 'record' is 7 weeks over the last 15 years...at worst (over recent years) I drank til stupor every day...only stopping when I was sick, or out of money...
never tried detox..too embarrassed to seek help or to admit I was anything but a 'heavy drinker' - a very 'Aussie bloke' thing I guess - although I certainly would have at least seen a GP, had I read some of the stuff here about detoxing at home...
never tried AA either, but only for pragmatic reasons - I'm disabled and have speech problems, so a group setting was never really an option for me...
so far, this group, and just being able to 'talk' with people who understand, has worked wonders for me...it's like a different world now...but it's only early days for me, mate - day 14 tomorrow...but I'm hanging in stronger than I could have ever hoped. Just knowing I'm not alone has made all the difference for me, Paul.
D
My drinking was bad enough...my sobriety 'record' is 7 weeks over the last 15 years...at worst (over recent years) I drank til stupor every day...only stopping when I was sick, or out of money...
never tried detox..too embarrassed to seek help or to admit I was anything but a 'heavy drinker' - a very 'Aussie bloke' thing I guess - although I certainly would have at least seen a GP, had I read some of the stuff here about detoxing at home...
never tried AA either, but only for pragmatic reasons - I'm disabled and have speech problems, so a group setting was never really an option for me...
so far, this group, and just being able to 'talk' with people who understand, has worked wonders for me...it's like a different world now...but it's only early days for me, mate - day 14 tomorrow...but I'm hanging in stronger than I could have ever hoped. Just knowing I'm not alone has made all the difference for me, Paul.
D
Be proud mate and hold your head high..I think it's posts like yours that can really inspire people to beat this **** of a disease.
Hang in there Mate...I know what being alone is too well.
Cheers Paul
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