God doesn't want me to quit
believer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
God doesn't want me to quit
I am not quitting. But i had one of those moments tonight. i was about to go back. Just because i wanted to stop the anxiety. It is killing me. I am not taking meds, because i chose not to do it. Besides i don't want to have nothing to do with sleeping pills ever again. I have been taking it fairly well by doing martial arts. But today i have been really anxious about the whole thing. My problem is the lie of addiction. Sometimes i can hear that little voice saying: addiction will satisfy you. It is a terrible disease.Waiting on the corner to attack. My inner voice Knows sobriety is the real deal, but when your spirit is weaker it is harder.It takes more energy.
I've learned i really need to occupy myself all the time. Bad thoughts can ruin it for me. I can't also be too much time alone.
I'm on day 12. I was lying in bed just now(here is 1 AM) and i was in that moment where anxiety is ticking you. That moment when you're really fighting this disease.And i had this most peaceful moment.In a second I knew i wasn't supposed to quit this time, no matter what.The peace in my head joined the silence of the night. I am gonna Know, that the disease of self destruction wont win. My soul is stronger than this disease. And i know it may sound weird but i feel God on my shoulder right now saying : "I am here"
It's on the right shoulder, actually!-lol but true
Have you guys had those moments when you're about to quit and then, simply, you see the light again?
God bless, another small battle won.
I've learned i really need to occupy myself all the time. Bad thoughts can ruin it for me. I can't also be too much time alone.
I'm on day 12. I was lying in bed just now(here is 1 AM) and i was in that moment where anxiety is ticking you. That moment when you're really fighting this disease.And i had this most peaceful moment.In a second I knew i wasn't supposed to quit this time, no matter what.The peace in my head joined the silence of the night. I am gonna Know, that the disease of self destruction wont win. My soul is stronger than this disease. And i know it may sound weird but i feel God on my shoulder right now saying : "I am here"
It's on the right shoulder, actually!-lol but true
Have you guys had those moments when you're about to quit and then, simply, you see the light again?
God bless, another small battle won.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I'm pretty sure Gods will is not for us to be alcoholics and addicts. I was only able to stop with His help.
A note of caution. Being busy is good, BUT, you have to slow down someday. I raced Mountain Bikes semi-pro when I was dry. It worked about 5 years, but one day I got tired. Training 6 days a week just to place top 10. It quit being fun. I figured, "what the hell, a drink won't hurt". And it didn't, at first......
A note of caution. Being busy is good, BUT, you have to slow down someday. I raced Mountain Bikes semi-pro when I was dry. It worked about 5 years, but one day I got tired. Training 6 days a week just to place top 10. It quit being fun. I figured, "what the hell, a drink won't hurt". And it didn't, at first......
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Thank you for sharing your experience with us karimpatim. I am glad that you overcame the urge - and that you had the moment of clarity that you allude to. The last time I wanted to drink , that happened for me too. I had a bottle open and a glass ready - do or die - and something shifted - when I said NO MORE and I poured it down the sink. I don't ever want to get that close again.
You did the right thing tonight. Keep posting and keep sharing. You'll be that much stronger for the next time.
Rowan
You did the right thing tonight. Keep posting and keep sharing. You'll be that much stronger for the next time.
Rowan
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
thanks for that brilliant post, Karim !
anxiety is a tough one...especially if you're lying there in bed, all nerves tingling watching the clock turn over and night turning into day...but I found that knowing where the anxiety comes from - what I like to think of as our addiction fighting for its 'life' - helps me to quiet myself.
I know I am winning.
D
anxiety is a tough one...especially if you're lying there in bed, all nerves tingling watching the clock turn over and night turning into day...but I found that knowing where the anxiety comes from - what I like to think of as our addiction fighting for its 'life' - helps me to quiet myself.
I know I am winning.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 379
Karim -
I too am on day 12. It's getting easier for me each day. My cravings are fewer and farther between. For me, I never want to do this again. When a craving hits, I think about all that I have been through and all the ground I have gained. It's enough to keep me going, at least thus far -
Keep strong!
TinLizzy
I too am on day 12. It's getting easier for me each day. My cravings are fewer and farther between. For me, I never want to do this again. When a craving hits, I think about all that I have been through and all the ground I have gained. It's enough to keep me going, at least thus far -
Keep strong!
TinLizzy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 104
hello
well done, just keep battling away that's all we can do, i too suffer extremely bad with anxiety and panic its a nightmare but it will vanish over time i am sure and them thoughts will be in your distant memory i am sure anyway
good luck cya
good luck cya
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
kari... awesome!
kari why of course... and thats part of the acceptance of my afliction... daily, i have to keep that clarity... whatever it takes...
good wishes, and keep that faith...
xxoo, zip
kari
Have you guys had those moments when you're about to quit and then, simply, you see the light again?
good wishes, and keep that faith...
xxoo, zip
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