Feeling so sad
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: scotland
Posts: 23
Feeling so sad
Finally got it together enough over this weekend-our 6th one apart and decided MY only way out of this mess was a Divorce-really really hard to deal with after being married for 32 years.Spoke to the 3 daughters and they're all supportive of my decision-my son will be too drunk to register.
Met up with my AH this evening and he seemed genuinely pleased that I'd contacted him.Not for long though-when I told him what I wanted.That little inconvenience aside though he told me he wouldn't contest it so life must be good with his little barfly(I know thats not true)but they can drown their sorrows together.
So why oh why am I so sad.
Met up with my AH this evening and he seemed genuinely pleased that I'd contacted him.Not for long though-when I told him what I wanted.That little inconvenience aside though he told me he wouldn't contest it so life must be good with his little barfly(I know thats not true)but they can drown their sorrows together.
So why oh why am I so sad.
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
You're sad because it's the end of a known era. It may not have been the happiest, but it was comfortable for some time. You were used to being in the situation. I remember feeling the exact same way.
Change is not easy but it's usually very good for us.
Peace
Change is not easy but it's usually very good for us.
Peace
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Endings are sad. You invested much time, energy and love into this relationship. It would be odd and inhuman if you weren't sad. You will grieve because you are a loving, sensitive and compassionate human being. Do not deny or disrespect your very natural feelings...there is much wisdom in our dark emotions. I have learned much more about myself in the allowance of pain rather than its denial.
Your AH is simply looking for company in his addiction. My last relationship was with a fellow drunk. I felt like a fraud through the whole thing. The dark hole in my soul just got larger and hungrier in that relationship...
I'm alone now...and I'm happier than I ever was in that relationship. Do not get me wrong. I cared for him deeply and I grieved its ending for quite awhile. But my happiness and gratitude today is beyond measure...
Your AH is simply looking for company in his addiction. My last relationship was with a fellow drunk. I felt like a fraud through the whole thing. The dark hole in my soul just got larger and hungrier in that relationship...
I'm alone now...and I'm happier than I ever was in that relationship. Do not get me wrong. I cared for him deeply and I grieved its ending for quite awhile. But my happiness and gratitude today is beyond measure...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
the pain and the heartache will pass...
you know what you have to do for yourself and for your sanity, so follow your heart, and keep thinking that better things will be in store for you. you just need to be open enough to let them find their way to you.
keep posting, whenever you're sad. it helps me a great deal.
you know what you have to do for yourself and for your sanity, so follow your heart, and keep thinking that better things will be in store for you. you just need to be open enough to let them find their way to you.
keep posting, whenever you're sad. it helps me a great deal.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upper Kolobia
Posts: 153
We Grieve Losses No Matter How Absurd It Seems . . .
One of the traps in codependency is judging our feelings, often harshly . . .
They are what make us human, however, and allow us spiritual connections with others and perhaps with something greater . . .
Ask any alcoholic sober for a long time, and they'll tell you a lot of their first years of recovery involved grieving their relationship with the bottle or beer can . . .
I'd worry more about you if you said it didn't bother you . . .
I wish you well . . .
They are what make us human, however, and allow us spiritual connections with others and perhaps with something greater . . .
Ask any alcoholic sober for a long time, and they'll tell you a lot of their first years of recovery involved grieving their relationship with the bottle or beer can . . .
I'd worry more about you if you said it didn't bother you . . .
I wish you well . . .
Let Go Let God
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
so sorry braveheart . theres a big difference between knowing what you have to do and then actually doing it . It seems so final now that the words were spoken and its the end of this chapter in your life . Very hard to go into the unknown when the known (as dysfunctional as it may have been) was so comfortable . But its not really as comfortable as we think , its just all we know .
If he is living with a barfly as you said , this is the very best thing that you can do for yourself and your children , especially if they are in their late teens , your daughters need to know not to tolerate this from a bf or a husband in the future because they are worth more , just like their mom .
lots of luck to you and please keep posting , sending prayers your way .
If he is living with a barfly as you said , this is the very best thing that you can do for yourself and your children , especially if they are in their late teens , your daughters need to know not to tolerate this from a bf or a husband in the future because they are worth more , just like their mom .
lots of luck to you and please keep posting , sending prayers your way .
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