LeftBehind

When I went to the AA meetings probably 80% of the people there (or more) had been in jail/prison or were getting some kind of court ordered stamp after the meeting.

It kind of freaked me out. I've had everything from a lady telling me she was planning on robbing me but then thought better of it to weird dirty long haired guys (who didn't seem right in the head based on what they were saying regarding the various attempts to sell me gold stocks in South American and whatnot) try hard to get in my car to get a ride (I had just met these "millionaires" at the meeting) and then get mad when I refused to worse. Why all the crazies and criminal types? I don't trust them.

Seems everytime I go to an AA meeting or a Celebrate Recovery meeting I'm surrounded by cons (some fresh out of the "joint" I believe is the word for it) and am the only one who has never been in any trouble in their life.

It's a lot to take so I stopped going.

Don't they have meetings for suburban business people that are serious about long-term sobriety and are not ex-convicts nor ever wish to be? I've only found one meeting like that and I had to move 100 miles from it unfortunately. Bums me out.

GlassPrisoner

Where do you live ? South Central ? This has not been my experience at all.

Find another meeting. Heck, where I live (which is by no means a metropolis) there's prolly 20 or more different meetings a day.

nogard

lol LeftBehind. Over here there are meetings for Addicts in NA or Alkies in AA and I tend to go to meetings because it works for me, I don't hang with anyone I don't like, but they might still have a message for me in their sharing, even ifts an example of what not to do.

Its all about perspective and attitude. I suggest you give a program of some kind a good go and put aside the critisism for a few months and see what you get.

Good luck.

I do whatever it takes to stay clean and grow in recovery.

Kevin
PS I don't want to sell you anything, just wish you all the best.

LeftBehind

They were meetings in Orange County believe it or not and I don't think it's a trivial issue.

nogard

didn't suggest it was trivial, simply reminded me of some other moments.

As I said good luck.

Kevin

Nuudawn

Hey LeftBehind,
I do understand where you are coming from. I sobered up a few provinces away from where I am now (I'm Canadian). The program where I sobered up was wonderful...mostly professional, suburban sorts. I then moved back home to the West Coast and the meetings I went to totally deflated me. Like you, it seemed like everyone had just been sprung from the joint...and there were many, many addicts. It is not that I feel superior or anything of the sort...I just didn't feel like I was coming from the same sort of place...didn't have same experiences, struggles and difficulties. I started attended meetings in a nearby city. And it was a whole new ball game..back to the suburban sort. I felt way more comfortable. BUT I went to enough of that one "prisoner" meeting...lol..and did get something...did connect with a few souls. I continue to go to that meeting as well.

It IS important to feel like you "relate"...it's important for me anyway.

GlassPrisoner

Like I said:

http://www.oc-aa.org/MeetingDirectoryHome.htm

BTW, I'm not trivializing this. I agree that you have to find somewhere wher you feel a "part of". If I didn't right away, I'd prolly be dead by now.

nogard

Well I can relate to the housewive who has a tipple at home and to the junkie detoxing in a prison cell, they both have the same dis ease that I do.

I need them all to get well.

Kevin

LeftBehind

I did put aside the criticism and go for a few months and during that time was almost robbed, pressured to become a taxi repeatedly, asked for money, etc... not to mention the boredom of nothing EVER changing in those meetings. ZZZZZZ *cricket sound* *cricket sound*... lol.

Try to look at it from my perspective. I thought I was going to a meeting of business people who were interested in long term sobriety. What I got instead was a watered down version of Oz.

Finally after months of this craziness, I found one that was pretty normal and only had about 25% convict to law abiding citizen ratio but they were conducting themselves appropriately so I did develop respect for them (a good thing) at a Celebrate Recovery center. It was perfect for me to be honest but I had to move. Now I live in the wilderness and the nearest meeting is two hours away.

Crazy world isn't?

LeftBehind

Your post I relate to. Thanks. I think that's what I need after I make my next job move here shortly.

nogard

When I was using distance was not an issue to get outta my head, nor is distance an issue to get well.

Start your own meeting maybe its good service and who knows perhaps you will attract those who echo your sentiments, could be interesting.

Kevin

mikel60

What were you doing conducting research or trying to get sober?
One of my biggest problems when I first came to AA was the delusion that I was somehow better than everyone there. Yeah, right. That delusion had to be smashed. Some of the people that have wound up helping me the most were those that I had judged the most. Once I got over myself, I was able to begin getting over alcoholism.
Mike

Rowan

I have to agree with Mike. Many of the 'lessons' I learned in AA were from the skid-row variety, bikers, etc. One guy, a self-described career criminal routinely shared at meetings - finally I went up to him afterwards and thanked him - and apologized for judging him.
Today, some of the people who I was terrified of because of how they looked or carried themselves are the ones I look forward to seeing the most. They are real.

1_day@_a_time

Often heard in the rooms of AA: Look for the similarities, not the differences.

This is not to diminish your concern in any way.

For me, it's so I make sure I continue to realize this disease hits us all & what we have in common.

I'm in the Pasadena area, & if you like, send me a PM.

I can steer you to dozens of meetings filled with professionals.

Going to one tonight. Of the thousands of meetings I've attended, it's probably the very best yet.

Wanna join me?

Tom

LeftBehind

Mike, does it surprise you that a law abiding average whitcollar businessman might find their road to sobriety affected by finding themselves in a room of ex-cons some of which are trying to figure out how to exploit, rob, or get something from them? Well it's real. It happened. Does it have to mean they think they are better than everyone simply because they don't want to be abused? I don't think so.

That's great you were able to overcome your own personal hangup of thinking you were better than everyone. But it's misplaced if you were to project it at me. For me, it would be abandoning common sense to "fit in" with a roomful of cons some of who were actually trying to get to me. That's pretty straightforward actually. There doesn't have to be a psychological problem behind it when it's just the truth. And it was the truth in my case.

Honestly, I'm really not interested in having to learn how to live amongst convicts fresh out of prison to grow in sobriety. That's great you did though. I'm glad that worked out for you.

Fortunately, I'm learning there are places where everyday people gather to work out their long term sobriety issues. I've learned my lesson from the others. I'll be seeking out less risky meeting environments in the future. Based on my experiences, I know it to be a wise one.

Thank you NuuDawn for your understanding. It was nice to have someone validate my decision regarding future organizations after all I went through. I appreciate that.

LeftBehind

Thank you. I would LOVE to but I'm about 300 miles away right now in the mountains. Nothing here except snow at the moment. I'm going to move in the next few months and will certainly be looking to THOSE meetings. Thank you so much for your offer. I look forward to taking advantage of it in the future after I move. Peace and God bless.

mikel60

Actually, I'm a white collar professional myself. What I shared was my experience hoping that you could somehow relate. Apparently not.
My experience in AA has been radically different than yours. I've found the halls to be frequented by caring, spiritual people interested in helping themselves and others. I should also note that most of the meetings I attend are in the inner city.
Mike

Astro

Left, I totally understand how you feel but I'd like to share a little of my experience. Take it for what it's worth.

I never did anything that would land me in prison except for drunk driving. I never physically beat my now ex-wife, didn't abuse my kids (except for dropping my son on his face and letting my baby daughter fall off a changing table. Hmmm, yep, that's abuse), didn't murder anyone, rob any banks, steal purses from little old ladies, BUT............ I quit drinking on 2/21/05 and if I hadn't I might've done one of those things on 2/22. My point is that there's a very fine line in our disease that our behavior can cross over, and our life changes rapidly. I'm no different than any convict, I just didn't get caught.

I go to a very large AA meeting almost every night, our average attendance is over 100 people. We have members from every race, creed, religion, and quite a few ex-cons, court-orders, bikers, some clean, some dirty, whatever. Unbelievably, all of us get along pretty well, even extraordinarily well. I'm pretty sure that's part of the reason why it's called a Fellowship, and it's shown me how to look at my fellow man (and woman) with love, tolerance, and compassion.

Like Tom shared, try to look for the similarities rather than the differences. I'm pretty clean cut, but I shake hands with plenty of former prisoners every evening.

SaTiT

yes..the court system is saturating the meetings.
Sometimes i just sign the courtcards right off the bat, it cuts
right through the bs , then we know who wants it.
I scribble chicken scrath on the cards.lol.
mmm..some still can't figure it out.
25-30 people down to 5-10 people that'll hang around.

Yes many of us had hit bottom and it's not too pretty.
i can't forget where I can from...i slept in my car when
i first came into AA. These meeting are actually great
if I listen for the message. Principle before personalities.
it's real and down to earth and a lot of hope and miracles.

LOL... it took me over a month to find out where the old timmers
where hanging out at. I was all wacked in the head still detoxing
anyways. I'll either show up an hour earliy or an hour too late.

Maybe it's was just a lesson to see how much I wanted to
get sober...for me. Not for the car, money, status in society.
Don't PICK UP NO MATTER WHAT....I'm an alcoholic that
just happened to have a job.

low and behold...the last meeting on the list, and i finally show
up on time. mmm...old folks , dress in caual no need to flaunt,
focus on recovery not how much money I make.

nogard

Deleted this post. Gone to play elsewhere. Glad I have choices qnd clarity today.

Kevin