katie44

Im so sorry to dump all this on all of you, but why is it that things never seem to change. This last year has been a nightmare actually the last three since I found out my son was a drug addict. I feel like my life is totally out of control and I dont know how to fix it. This is probably the first time I have ever felt like this. My spouse and I own a business at one time very profitable, the last year it has lost alot of money. We took every cent of our savings and dumped it back in to it. We bought a house larger bigger mortgage payment? My spouse talked me in to it where was my brain at, anyhow we moved in on Feb.9. reason we purchased it was we could also us some of the land and the building as a storage facility. Lo and Behold we lost a huge contract that we needed this building for 2 weeks before the closing date. My mother passed away in February. Everything is crashing around us and I dont have the energy to fix it anymore. Were looking at loosing our business. I am 44 and just feel like I cant do it anymore. And to top it off my son is an addict. What I feel so terrible about is I should be able to cope. Ive always been able to control things. Thanks all for reading this. I just neede to vent!!!!!

Sunflower

ahhhhh control----when we lose it--it is awful...Having lost my career from illness at 43 and my son being a drug abuser--who quit -then became an alcoholic- I can just imagine how you feel your life spiraling out of control. Everything and everyone suffers when there is an addiction in the family.
It has been 13 years of my son and this nightmare--what illness didn't take away his addiction problems did.
Running a buisiness can be touch and go at the last minute something can work out. My best friend owns one a big one and everyonce in a while see will call hysterical cause they didnt get a contract or lost one--then in the 11 th hour something works out,,I hope it will be the same for you.
Give yourself some credit here--you have a lot of pressure on you and are in panic mode.Keep posting and maybe someone will be in the same situation as you and know the right words.
The only info I can give you is you maybe need outside help because you feel like you are drowning--its just to much stress--and for me--I wish I hadn't spent so much time money andattention to my sons problem--because in the end only they can handle--we really can't do much of anything until they decide to quit.And he did--there is always hope...

teke

im so sorry for you loss katie, you are going through a lot, its enough to overwhelm the best of us, sorry about your busness and your son. it makes it so much harder when we have to worry about our kids on top of everything else. i'm sorry that he is making bad choices and i know how painful that is to have to watch. i have 7 of them and i know how much you want to make things better for him but know that there is not much you can do to stop him from going down that path. i pray that he finds his way soon.

for now, maybe you can just take a few minutes to rest your mind, sounds like you have so much going on, and i know how hard it can be the feel like life is spinning out of control all around and there is not much you can do about it. maybe its time to turn it all over to your hp and allow his hand in things. maybe you could take in a couple extra meetings when you can and allow yourself to feel what you feel so as to get it out. i'm still praying for you and your family with that special prayer for you son.

Troubledone

Katie

My heart goes out to you. You are dealing with an overwhelming amount of stuff. The grief of all the losses you have and are facing along with the fear for your house, business and son must be overwhelming.

I pray that you find the support you need and the peace to let your HP help you with all this.

Prayers and Peace ....

krhea75

Sorry for the turmoil, katie. I have been in somewhat similar situation where I felt like things were crashing down on me. Breathe, breathe, get some rest. Pray, believe that tomorrow will be better.
krhea

marle

Sending some hugs and prayers. So many bad things happening at the same time must be overwhelming. I know just dealing with a loved one's addiction is enough without worrying about your business and the loss of your mother. Please take extra special care of yourself and please never feel sorry to dump your problems here. We are here to listen. Hugs, Marle

deedee

(((katie)))

That's a lot to deal with at once. I hope you can make some time for yourself, to grieve for your mother as you need to. Try to take it one day at a time and I'm praying you can regain some serenity in your life.

hugs and prayers ~

deedee

Louise54

How ironic. My life kind of sounds similar to yours. My husband has owned his own business for over 30 years, and now has to shut it down. We owe everyone and their mother money. And like you our son is an addict. Everyday feels like groundhog day. You just fight to get through another day. I really can sympathize with you. My husband is kind of falling apart with all this, (which I don't blame him). But I'm trying to be strong and hold everything together. But it really is exhausting, isn't it?

dollydo

I am so sorry, I pray that there will a positive turnaround for your business. and your son.

Hugs,
Dolly

havehope

Katie
Sending hugs and prayers to you.
You have a lot on your plate right now to deal with. I think it would overwhelm anyone.
hugs
Terri

hope213

oh katie, i am sorry for all the things you are going through.things with your personal life i sure hope will have a big turn around soon.with your son there is nothing you can fix there or ever will be. he has got to do that himself.please take care of you & know we r here.that is why we are here to help you learn to take care of you.turn your son over to his h.p. i am saying a prayer for you & your husband & also for your son that he can find his way.

Elana

No words other than to know I am thinking of you.
Praying for your business to land another contract and for your boy to find recovery.

bookmiser

((((((Katie)))))))

I know what it's like to feel like the world is closing in on ya.
I've been there.
I lost my mother 6 days after my 30th b-day. I'll be 43 this June.
I never knew what panic attacks were until 2 months after she died.
I've been on Zoloft ever since. Whenever I try to wean off them,
I go right back to having the attacks.
My 25 yo son is my addict. Has quit the heavy needle drug, but continues to have the mindset of an addict. He drinks. Not as often for now, but the first sign of disaster (in his world) he'll be right back at it, I'm afraid.
So...just waiting for the other shoe to drop there.
We moved after living in Pa., for 8 years, back to our hometown.
Why? Ya got me. We, (hubby and I) are both struggling with our jobs.
It's just not the same anymore. We're getting older and are very much in debt. Out of shape. Couch potatoes. Computer nuts. lol
Shall I go on?
Sometimes, I feel so downtrodden, I don't think I can get out of bed in the morning.
Then, I pray.
I thank God for His generosity and goodness. I thank Him for my life and the beauty that's around me. (when I remember to take time out and look)
I thank him for watching over my addicted son, my sober daughter, and my hardworking hubby. Oh, and my cat that seems to be going to live forever. lol
I can only hope. I can't stand the thought of losing my baby.
Speaking of babies...
I'm suffering from empty nest syndrome, big time!
OMG! Maybe I should start my own thread. lol
I know you feel overwhelmed, sweetie, and we're all here to prop you back up. You just need to stop. breathe. and put one foot in front of the other.
take things day by day, or hour by hour, if needed.
Vent here anytime. I do. lol
You are not alone. I care and am sending huge prayers up for you and your family. You will get through this. This too shall pass.




Your friend,

katie44

Thankyou all for your kind words of support. There are so many people worse off out there and I need to be thankful for alot. I booked an appointment with a counsellor today, I know I need to see some one. I have really never felt the signs of depression until now ( pretty scary ). I have also called in a business consultant for help. As for my AS I told him last nite out he goes by next Wed. that should give him time to find some where to go. The chaos that surrounds him is crazy. After reading these posts, and coming to this board I realize there are so many people in the same situations. Again thankyou, your all a bunch of wonderful people.

parentrecovers

i am so glad you will see a counselor today,that is fantastic news! alanon really helps me, but the visits with the private counselor are very valuable. prayers to you and for your son. k

BigSis

I have had to reassess a few times in my life.

One thing I "know"... I can make it in a trailer house.



Sounds weird, I know...but I had to get there in order to handle my fear of becoming a "bag lady".

Fear of financial failure is a pretty common trait amongst many of us around the Alanon tables... if you haven't been to some of those meetings - now would be a GREAT time to go!

Figuring out what I can really accept helps me assess what I have and where I am.

Prayers going up that you can find some peace and comfort today. ((hugs))

Brownie

Hello katie - so glad to read you have an appointment with a counsellor - I carry a name in my wallet and it is comforting to know it's there but I need to follow your good example and talk to someone again - Prayers and ((HUGS)) from mom of AD.

thejunkyswife

Good luck to you. We all relate to that feeling that your life is spinning away uncontrollably, and it's so frustrating. I'll keep you in my prayers.

When I'm at a meeting and they ask us to pause to remember the people who are still suffering, I pray, running through the list of people I know personally, and then I ask for a big group blessing for everyone I've met here. This is such a positive community, and it's a great place to find support.