Surrender63

I know that I can only answer this question. But, how did you come to this decision? I've also heard it's not how much you drink,it's what happens to your insides when you drink. I can't seem to quit on my own for more than 1-2 weeks. I'm usually a daily drinker but often only 3-5 beers. I've enjoyed the benefit of AA and the fellowship but after 10 years in and out(mostly) out of the program there's still the sinking feeling that I don't belong or my drinking isn't that bad. I drink many because I still enjoy it albiet less and out of loneliness. Any experience,strenght ,hope is appreciated.

nogard

my disease used to tell me all the time that I was different, that I was ok and one would not hurt....

Sounds like you have answered your own ? My advice is to get a program and follow it. Welcome to sobriety

Kevin

confound

Hi confused,

I'm at day 14 of sobriety right now, and the "alcoholic" question is something that I can't help thinking about every day. I don't know if I'm an alcoholic or not... how do you define one? Is it someone who is physically or psychologically dependant on alcohol? If so, then I don't think... well, I'm pretty sure... I don't know, I might be one. There's no good test for that.

What I am sure of is that I suck at drinking. I can't do it like other people can. I can't drink one or two and have fun. Often I need to drink until I pass out, I'm obnoxious when I'm drunk, and I waste a ton of time, and it throws my life off track. So, regardless of whether or not I'm an alcoholic, I can't drink anymore.

What does being an alcoholic mean to you? Does a definition make a difference?

Best,

confound

Golfman

Dazed and Confused - Led Zeplin

Look at the first sentence I left up there. You have it backwards. It's what's happening on the inside that causes you to drink. Not what happens to your insides after you drink.

Second sentence..."albeit less and out of loneliness." That's a biggie. Still, you know only you can determine whether you are or aren't an alcoholic. By the way, one doesn't have to lose everything and be a bum on the street to be an alcoholic. I had a good job, a wife and two beautiful little girls, two cars and a house. I hadn't lost any of the material things many drunks lose. But I lost something infinitely more important, myself. It was all on the inside, and that's where alcoholism lives. It lives in my heart, my mind, and my soul.

Be well Confused, whatever you decide.

Your friend in sobriety,
Ed

nogard

can you drink one then walk away? Well you answered no to that so ...

The can't stop after the first one is a classic trait of Alcoholics.

Kevin (no brakes either )

Dee74

I don;t know if I'm an alcoholic or not either - but the labels far less important to me than the realisation and the acceptance that my drinking is a problem.

Many of my mates drink way more than I do/did, but hey that's their issue to deal with...I know I have a problem, and you can call it Fred if you think it'll help....

I can't stop at one - I drink to get drunk, if not absolutely plastered/blitzed.

I drink cos I'm stressed/ bored/ p.o.ed/depressed/can't sleep/cos it's there in the fridge/hot day/case of the flu etc etc

I drank every day, or at least as often as finance allowed.

I missed commitments, let people down, and made excuses

I hid my drinking

I made myself sick through drinking, injured myself through drinking, can't remember great chunks of my life through drinking...and kept right on drinking.

I obviously felt that things weren't right, cos I tried so often to stop

dunno if any of this is familiar - There are guys way better than lil ol newbie me to help...just thought it might help with context ?

peace
D





I

nogard

Good for you, congrats.

I think its important in terms of the "ah.." factor, the acceptance, the understanding and, release and the ability to pass that on to others and because I feel a part of now not apart from.

Kevin

Dee74

Thanks Kevin...I really indentify with everything you've said here...great Aussie
minds ?! <G>

D

karrotop

my therapist keeps telling me to go to a meeting....and the last time we spoke,i told her i have a problem with step #1.....being powerless....and i told her....i am not powerless...i decide whether to drink or not....and she said the powerlessness comes into play after you've taken that first drink.....then,an alchoholic becomes powerless......we can't stop ourselves...so,that is my definition of an alcoholic.....a person who can't stop themselves after one,two or even three drinks.....and that,unfortunately is ME..on that note......do any of you know of any good chat rooms online,or meeting places online,where we can chat with others,"in real time".....is there something like that here at SR?

thanks to all.......

escape2day

It's obviously a problem that concerns you. And I think that is the most important part, not the labels.
A quote from one of my favorite books: Alcoholics don't abuse alcohol--alcohol abuses them. That came from Sober...and Staying That Way by Susan Powter. It's a great book and discusses in the beginning the label of "being an alcoholic". You may want to check it out-- a lot of the things she says in her book really made a difference to me.
Good Luck in your journey!!!

Golfman

Apparently there used to be chats available here but i believe technical problems have kept it down for quite a while not. I don't know whether you have Instant Message capabilities, but that's a way I've found to talk with at least one other person in real time. I happen to use ***** Instant Messenger because it was easy to set up and I like the features. I try to avoid anything Microsoft because their stuff always seems more complicated. My wife has the MSN IM on her laptop and it was much more difficult to set up and get used to. Of course, being a little older than most of the folks that use these tools may have something to do with it.

On my public profile ***** Messenger is listed for IM purposes. Feel free to give me a shout sometime. Chatting with one is better than none.

Yours in sobriety,
Ed

hope3

Hi confusedindenver, I understand where you are comming from.

When I decided to quit I still didn't think I was an alcoholic. After reading Beyond the Influence" by Katherine Ketcham, I fully understand what an alcoholic is, and understand the control it really had over me. Weather we
really know the answer to the question or not, the fact that you want to quit, and can't is a strong sign towards the latter.

I strongly suggest reading the book, it changed my life, for the better.

Best wishes, hope3 alias, Sharon