Concerned for a friend
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: London
Posts: 3
Concerned for a friend
I've already posted this on the wrong forum!
Hi, I was pointed to this Forum by another unrelated forum to help with my problem.
It isn't me who has a problem with alcohol, but I have a friend who I feel does. I seem to be the only one, not necessarily that has noticed, but certainly concerned. I really don't know what to do about it, if anything, or where to start if I can try to help. I understand my friend may not want help, he's certainly in denial about having a drink problem although admits he does drink too much.
I would be grateful to you, who read this, if you can give me any advice at all..
I have a friend I have known for the past year and I am very concerned about his drinking and his health, and not knowing what a real 'alcoholic' is I would like some help.
His girlfriend of 8 years kicked him out of his house, it was a very messy break up and still is, he left behind two young children, which he dotes on. He see's them every fortnight.
He had to move back in with his parents and is finding this very difficult, therefore spends as little time at home as possible.
Instead as soon as he finishes work, about 6.30 he goes to the pub and stays there until closing. I am not exaggerating but this is every single night of the week. Football days he goes to the pub at 1ish until close and Sundays from mid afternoon until close.
The stress of the break up has seen him lose alot of weight, he is often sick and generally not in good health and doesn't eat much, usually a pizza or kebab on the way home.
I have on occasions spoken to him about having a drink problem, I have never accused him of being an alcoholic. He justifies it but saying he can stop drinking on FOUR night of the month when he looks after his children and refuses to stay in of an evening because he can't stand being in with his parents. I have suggested doing other things other than drinking, bowling, cinema etc and suggested he join the gym to no avail and I rarely go out now as his exessive drinking started to have an impact on me.
Hi, I was pointed to this Forum by another unrelated forum to help with my problem.
It isn't me who has a problem with alcohol, but I have a friend who I feel does. I seem to be the only one, not necessarily that has noticed, but certainly concerned. I really don't know what to do about it, if anything, or where to start if I can try to help. I understand my friend may not want help, he's certainly in denial about having a drink problem although admits he does drink too much.
I would be grateful to you, who read this, if you can give me any advice at all..
I have a friend I have known for the past year and I am very concerned about his drinking and his health, and not knowing what a real 'alcoholic' is I would like some help.
His girlfriend of 8 years kicked him out of his house, it was a very messy break up and still is, he left behind two young children, which he dotes on. He see's them every fortnight.
He had to move back in with his parents and is finding this very difficult, therefore spends as little time at home as possible.
Instead as soon as he finishes work, about 6.30 he goes to the pub and stays there until closing. I am not exaggerating but this is every single night of the week. Football days he goes to the pub at 1ish until close and Sundays from mid afternoon until close.
The stress of the break up has seen him lose alot of weight, he is often sick and generally not in good health and doesn't eat much, usually a pizza or kebab on the way home.
I have on occasions spoken to him about having a drink problem, I have never accused him of being an alcoholic. He justifies it but saying he can stop drinking on FOUR night of the month when he looks after his children and refuses to stay in of an evening because he can't stand being in with his parents. I have suggested doing other things other than drinking, bowling, cinema etc and suggested he join the gym to no avail and I rarely go out now as his exessive drinking started to have an impact on me.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
Posts: 612
Welcome A_J... I'm sorry for your friend's troubles, and I'm sorry for your pain in having to sit back and watch him sink further into his addiction to alcohol. It's a painful journey for everyone.
I'm afraid there is nothing you can do to stop him from drinking. He has to make this decision himself. You are a good friend, but this problem is bigger than friendship. It would help you to distance yourself from this person and let him find his own way. The more you stay involved in his life and his problem, the more you will end up getting hurt.
I'm afraid there is nothing you can do to stop him from drinking. He has to make this decision himself. You are a good friend, but this problem is bigger than friendship. It would help you to distance yourself from this person and let him find his own way. The more you stay involved in his life and his problem, the more you will end up getting hurt.
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