jacksdaughter

My son came to visit last night, Oh silly me was very excited that he was coming. When I first got home he was friendly and we went to go to dinner. At dinner he only had two drinks (not too bad) and wham got extremely moody and wanted to go home. I told him I would rather he didn't as he had been drinking (he lives 90 miles from me and has already gotten one DUI that cost me a fortune of course). Well the rest of the evening was a total waste. I tried to talk to him, asked if he wanted to go to counciling et etc. All I got was stonewalled, if I came in the room he went to another room. Just to give you info, he is 26 lives on his own but has been having a hard time of it. Seems to me to drink way too much, not sure if there is any other drugs etc.. involved. I have offered for him to come stay with us and get on his feet, but that would probably take him away from his party friends. He never seems to want to make the effort to really make improvements. Just likes to get really depressed about it all (mad at the world) and sulk. I even suggested that maybe he was suffereing from depression and needed help with that. AGain no response. I feel at the end of my rope with this, don't know what else I can do. Hate seeing him this way.

parentrecovers

are you going to alanon, jacksdaugter? it really helps me..

blessings, k

jacksdaughter

But I think it may help...I will find out where and when.

parentrecovers

i go to alanon meetings once a week with my husband. sometimes i do a 2nd meeting on my own. we also do private counseling about every other week. try a handful of meetings. they help us stay focused on ourselves.


our daughter is 22 and in first year recovery from alcohol and cocaine addiction. she's been clean/sober since last sept with one short relapse (about a week of chaos before she got back on her program.) we struggle with detaching also. there's such a fine line between being supportive and enabling.

if your son is not ready, you cannot force him to change. it's hard to swallow, i know.....

blessings, k

jacksdaughter

It is very hard. And you are right there is a fine line between enabling and supporting. The only thing I have decided at this point to help with is if he wants counseling... I can give no more money etc... Somehow he has got to want to help himself .

Thanks for all the help support and the wonderful lisenting ears. These situations make lives so hard ... sad really.

cmc

Here is a link to help you locate a meeting:

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/meetings/a/blananon.htm

I know it's hard to watch them make such poor choices. Alanon is a port in the storm and I learned more there than I did by reading, counseling or any other thing I tried to help me cope with the insanity. It's a safe place to run to and find support- just like coming here but face to face.