DISTRESSED WIFE

I have been in a relationship with a Codependent, like myself & the relationship has been going great except for 1 problem. He moved out of his house 3 years ago-a house him & his girlfriend shared. He explained in Codie terms that the relationship was not working for him because they became friends & that was it. Now he finally tells her about me because they still speak & she is really upset. She thought he would come back to her. Now he is going through guilt, remorse, almost grieving this relationship. The only reason he told her about me was because he bought me an engagement ring so he thought he needed to explain to her how his life has changed.

I just figured since it has been 3 years since they have even been together as a couple, this would be easy. He has been honest with me about the whole relationship with her. She relies on him for so much because she has no friends, no family close by, etc. He is guilt ridden. Yet I worry that maybe he is grieving the relationship-I don't know & this makes me scared.

He has his own place, but we have been living together at my house since August of last year. His counselor told him to go to his own place, deal with this old girlfriend & then propose when he knows it is right for him.

I know I should just let go & let God and I just keep praying. He is such a kind, gentle man who is good to a fault. He wants to do the right thing and since this is something he had to say to her that was bad, he feels immense guilt for hurting another person.

Thanks for letting me share. I just needed to put this in words to hopefully get some input. Remember we are both recovering codependents

mooselips

DISTRESSED WIFE,
If he is engaged to you, he needs to put HER on the back burner. Friend or no friend, he needs to cut ties with her.
In a nice way....


Hugs,

teke

i agree with moose, keeping you and yours in my prayers. i pray that he straightens things out soon. seems like a lot to have to bring into your relationship.

rose

I agree with Moose,

Rose